"Your faithful serf, "ARKHIP SAVELIEFF."
I could not help smiling once or twice as I read the good old man's
letter. I did not feel equal to writing to my father. And to make my
mother easy the letter of Saveliitch seemed to me amply sufficient.
From this day my position underwent a change. Marya Ivanofna scarcely
ever spoke to me, and even tried to avoid me. The Commandant's house
became unbearable to me; little by little I accustomed myself to stay
alone in my quarters.
At first Vassilissa Igorofna remonstrated, but, seeing I persisted in my
line of conduct, she left me in peace. I only saw Ivan Kouzmitch when
military duties brought us in contact. I had only rare interviews with
Chvabrine, whom I disliked the more that I thought I perceived in him a
secret enmity, which confirmed all the more my suspicions. Life became a
burden to me. I gave myself up, a prey to dark melancholy, which was
further fed by loneliness and inaction. My love burnt the more hotly for
my enforced quiet, and tormented me more and more. I lost all liking for
reading and literature. I was allowing myself to be completely cast
down, and I dreaded either becoming mad or dissolute, when events
suddenly occurred which strongly influenced my life, and gave my mind a
profound and salutary rousing.