Since Paulo had left her, and she found herself alone, Natalie felt sad,
solitary, in the paradise that surrounded her. No longer did she sing in
emulation of the birds, no longer did she hop with youthful delight and
the impetuosity of a young roe through the charming alleys. Sadly,
and with downcast eyes, sat she under the myrtle bush by the murmuring
fountains, and frequent heavy sighs heaved her laboring breast.
"All is changed, all!" she often thoughtfully said to herself. "A great
and terrible secret has been unveiled within me--the secret of my utter
abandonment! I have no one on earth to whom I belong! Once I never
thought of that. Paulo was all to me, my friend, my father, my brother;
but Paulo has abandoned me, I belong not to him, and hence I could not
go with him. And who is left to me? Carlo!" she answered herself in a
low tone, and with a melancholy smile. "But Carlo has not filled the
void that Paulo's absence has left in my heart. At first I thought he
could, but that was only a short deception. Carlo is good and kind,
always devoted, always ready to serve me. He always conforms himself
to my will, is all subjection, all obedience. But that is terrible,
unbearable!" exclaimed the almost weeping young maiden. "Who, then,
shall I obey, before whom shall I tremble, when all obey me and tremble
before me? And yet Carlo is a man. No," said she, quite low; "were he so
I should then obey him, and not he me; then would he give me commands,
and not I him! No, Carlo is no man--Paulo was so! Where art thou, my
friend, my father?"
And the young maiden yearningly spread her arms in the air, calling
upon her distant friend with tender, low-whispered words and heartfelt
longings.
But the days slowly passed, and still no news came from him. Natalie
dreamily and sadly sank deeper into herself; her cheeks paled, her step
became less light and elastic. In vain did her true friends, Marianne
and Carlo, exhaust themselves in projects and propositions for her
distraction and amusement.
"You should go into the world and amuse yourself in society, princess,"
said Carlo.
"I hate the world and society," said Natalie. "People are all bad, and I
abominate them. What had I done to these people, how had I offended them
even in thought, and yet they would have murdered me the very first time
I appeared among them? No, no, leave me here in my solitude, where I at
least have not to tremble for my life, where I have Carlo to guard and
protect me."
The singer pressed the proffered hand to his lips.
"Then let us at least make some excursions in the environs of Rome,"
said he.