Uh huh. "Why bother? She'll only find fault with the pie, take her to carvels for some ice cream cake. She thinks that shit's gourmet." I think I choked half the table.
I was ever so proper as I folded my brocade napkin brought from Castile by my dear nana, and left the table to follow hubby. I skirted my way around the island and kept out of reach. He's a grabber. I walked to the pantry and opened the breadbox. I'd planned for everything way in advance. "Now Vanessa, I don't know what's gotten into you but...for fucks sake Nessa put that shit away." He was backtracking fast. Tommy has that affect on people.
"Did you think I was playing when I said that I would straight up twat punch your incubator and that rotted fruit of her womb you call a sister? Didn't I tell you not to bring these people to my house?"
"You've lost your fucking mind."
"YES I HAVE, and it's thanks to that devil's reject you call a mother." He was trying to whisper and shit but I had no problem with her hearing every word. After all she doesn't whisper when she's slinging shit my way.
"Two years, two years I put up with their shit. One you were here for and the other you were away fighting for your country while I was duking it out with Satan's hench-women in the bowels of hell." I could hear the gasps in the other room from this far away.
"If she says one more thing to piss me off I'll cap her ass." I could tell I'd really thrown him this time. He has no idea. I'd put up with a lot, but when I overheard the sea hag talking to one of his ex girlfriends about how she wish he'd married her, all fucking bets were off.
"Baby what's really going on? Why in the world are you behaving this way? Talk to me."
"Motherfuck...I have been talking to you, you just haven't been listening. Now if I have to clip this bitch one and get her black tainted blood on my good linen and china there's gonna be hell up in this bitch."
He shook his head and opened and closed his mouth three times. Poor thing he's so clueless, the evil that bore him has him totally snookered. She had me fooled for the first few months after we met too. Until I realized that she was taking everything I said and twisting it around to serve her own twisted, demented purposes. Now I'm just all the way the fuck over it.
"Get your mom her pie mama's boy." I know he hates that shit but this is war. If I have to act like a raving fucking lunatic...
I heard the whispers picking up in the next room and I just knew she was bashing me again.
"Hey old lady we've got stand your ground in this state, any perceived threat bitch, try me." I yelled that shit into the dining room and just for emphasis popped one off at the ceiling. My dad always said, go big or go home. I started this shit off might as well finish it. Who knows when I'll have the chance again? I guess the stampede heading for my front door was the answer to that. Not tonight.
"Are you happy now?"
"No, I'll be happy when you get your head out your ass and realize that that wasted shot of jizz is not a saint."
"You..."
"Yes I called your mother a wasted shot, your grandfather should've flushed that one."
"I can't believe you, where's this all coming from?"
"It's called frustrated, fed up and pissed way the fuck off. Did you hear anything that man that was standing in front of us at the altar said? Forsaking all others, that means meddling, destructive, lying ass mothers who talk shit about your wife to anyone who would listen. I intended to keep up my end of the bargain but since you can't or won't there's no point in me putting up with this shit. You can get the fuck out of my house too."
When I felt the tears starting I turned to leave the room. I won't show any more weakness in front of any of them. I just wish I didn't love the stupid jerk so much that it felt like ripping off an arm to fight with him.
"Vanessa get back here, this is not how we handle things in this house."
"Tommy says kiss my ass."
Chapter 3
I tore off my clothes and put on the ugliest, rattiest sweats I owned, with a t-shirt to match; something else that would set him off. He expects a sweet smelling lace and satin wearing sexpot in bed. He can kiss my ass. I'm so fucking mad it's a wonder I'm not levitating. It didn't take him long to traipse up the stairs. He stopped in the doorway and studied me but I igged his stupid ass. I had Tommy across my lap in case he got jumpy. He's a spanker.