But the man doesn’t release his grip, which causes my own internal alarms to spike. He saved me on the roof, he’s protecting me even now in the streets, but he’s still a stranger.
“This way,” he says, pushing me down an alley. I dig my heels into the ground, protesting. I’m not sure I should follow him, not sure I can trust him, but the Recruiters are nearing and the sound of moans echoes down the street and so finally I relent.
It’s a narrow alley, almost pitch-black except where the moon glints off shards of glass still stuck in broken windows. “A dead end,” I whisper as a wall rises in front of us. Dread starts to leak through my system.
“You trapped me,” I growl, spinning toward him and raising my knife, ready to fight.
The Recruiters hover at the mouth of the alley, calling for us. I start to back away from the stranger, looking for any means of escape. More moans sound in the distance.
A streak of flame lights the sky several blocks away, illuminating the alley, and I see the stranger hunched over a pair of metal doors set flush with the ground. He’s prying at a chain wrapped around the handles and finally he tugs it free, throwing open the doors.
There’s nothing but darkness beyond, the gleam of the first few steps of a staircase leading down and down. I refuse to move.
The stranger takes the steps, his legs disappearing into blackness. I stare at him. The old subway tunnels aren’t safe and it would be stupid to follow him. I glance at the buildings crouching over the alley but none has a fire escape. My choices are to follow him or take my chance with the Recruiters, already shouting as they race toward us.
The stranger holds out his hand, urging me into the darkness. One choice is a known danger, the other unknown. I hesitate, trying to figure out a third option, but there is none.
Cursing under my breath for getting into this mess, I start down the stairs, tucking the knife into my pocket so I can press my hands against the wall to guide me. The stranger pulls the doors shut behind us, sealing us together in the emptiness. For a heartbeat we stand there, silent and still. And then the Recruiters beat against the doors, and without waiting I race down the stairs, the stranger not far behind.
A sharp pain radiates along my hip where the man kicked me on the roof and my throat feels raw from running through the cold night. It’s pitch-black, and even though I strain my ears, all I can hear is the echo of our pounding steps and the clamoring of my heart.
At the bottom I hit a set of metal bars blocking the entrance to the old station, but I find a gap, wiggle through and keep running until the darkness is too much. Eventually, his steps slow to a stop behind me and I push on a little longer, putting some distance between us as I try to figure out who this person is and how I can stay in control of what’s going on.
I try to swallow the fear that flooded my veins as I was being chased, but the dark is closing in on me and it starts to suffocate my mind. I begin imagining other sounds than the scraping of our breaths, squeaks and moans and the grating of flesh over concrete. I can’t figure out what’s born of fright and what’s reality, and I shake my head to clear it.
The blackness is a living thing that whispers in my ear as it strokes my arms and brushes over my hair. It tries to wrap itself around my body, tries to drag me down to the ground and bury me, and I fight against it, waving my arms until I find a wall.
It’s not safe down here. Back before the Recruiter Rebellion, the Protectorate tried to keep the subway tunnels clear—tried to patrol them and chase out those who used the underground network for black-market goods between the Neverlands and the Dark City. But even the Protectorate couldn’t monitor the entire grid of crisscrossing passages, and it’s always been rumored that there are caved-in sections. Sections still filled with plague rats, downed until they sense human flesh.
I shiver, the air damp and colder than outside, the walls slick with half-frozen condensation. There’s an almost imperceptible draft flitting across my cheeks. And in the distance water drips into a puddle, every drop creating a distinct ping that echoes over and over. The stranger’s breathing slows to normal even though I’m still gulping at the air, little hiccups shuddering through my chest. I hear him step toward me, feel him coming near and I throw up a hand, ready to ward him off.
I still don’t understand what happened back on the roof. How he was able to walk so casually with those two Unconsecrated women.
Why he bothered to save me. Me.
“Who are you?” I ask, my voice strained and overly loud as it bounces sharply off the tiled walls.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he says. He sounds too close and I take a few steps away, putting distance between us. It’s impossible to see anything down here—the darkness is absolute—but my other senses kick in. I can smell him, the tang of his sweat with an undercurrent of fear and adrenaline. I can hear the sound of each inhalation, the way he holds his breaths and exhales slow and long.
I can feel the heat of him.
“Who are you?” I ask again, trying to sound hard and unafraid.
He shifts, the sound of fabric sliding along the wall. “My name’s Catcher,” he says, his voice nearer than it was before. I take rapid steps away until I hit another set of bars with my back. I sidestep, stumbling over something that clatters in the blackness, metal against metal.
“Are you okay?” he asks. “Did they hurt you?” There’s anger in his voice and he’s moving toward me again.
I think about the large man kicking me, swinging at me, kneeling on me. Yes, I want to tell him. Yes, they terrified me. They made me feel small and weak and I’m not used to that. I despise those feelings.
“No, it feels good being kicked,” I say instead, infusing the statement with as much sarcasm as possible. Slowly I slip my hand into my pocket, hoping he can’t hear me shift. I slide the knife out. Simply holding the familiar handle bolsters my courage, makes my breathing come easier. I’m finally in more control of this situation.
I hear his sharp inhalations, feel his exhalations across my skin. He’s close, too close, and I raise the knife in front of me. “Back off,” I tell him.
“It’s okay, Annah,” he says.
He holds his breath as mine comes out in a loud whoosh. He knows my name. How does this stranger know my name? And suddenly I realize that my instincts were right and I may be in more danger here than I was aboveground. Here I’m trapped.
I keep the knife in front of me, running my other hand behind me along the bars until I find a gap I can slip through. I swallow, trying to steady my erratic heart.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Annah,” he says. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
I laugh at him. “Why should I believe you?” I ask, swiping my arms out in front of me until I find the cool tile of the wall again. I fumble along it, sliding my feet over the ground as silently as possible. It falls away beneath me and I teeter for a moment before I regain my balance. My heart thunders in my ears, making it impossible to hear if he’s following me.Cautiously I feel through the air with my toes until I find a step and then another. As I descend the air grows even thicker, wrapping me in its embrace.
“Annah, I know who you are,” he says, his voice closer.
I say nothing, just continue to grope my way down the stairs, putting distance between us so that I can think.
He releases a puff of air in what sounds like frustration. “I know who you are because Elias told me about you.”
I freeze, all words trapped in my chest. It’s odd to hear a stranger say his name and a little tremor of pain flutters through my chest at it. I clench my teeth, swallow the emotion back down.
It’s so quiet I can hear as he shifts in the darkness. “He told me to come find you,” he adds.
“How do you know Elias?” My voice trembles, making me sound weak. I bite my bottom lip, needing to regain control over my body, my thoughts.
“You can trust me,” he continues, taking another step forward. But he must not have realized that he was standing on the edge of a staircase. He must not have known that the ground drops away, because I hear the surprised gasp as he starts to fall. I hear him scramble to catch himself.
And then he tumbles into me, and our bodies tangle around each other as we careen down the rest of the steps. We land hard on a cracked concrete floor, lights exploding in my head as it smacks against the wall. Catcher falls on top of me and I feel the knife still clutched in my hand slice through his skin. Feel the wetness of blood on my fingers.
“Oh my G-God,” I stammer, choking in the darkness. Catcher grunts and slides off me and I drag myself out from underneath him, our legs still snarled.
I drop the knife, feeling the slick of blood coating my skin. “Oh my God,” I say again. “Are you okay?” There’s so much blood I’m terrified I’ve killed him and my stomach twists with a frantic dread.
I reach for him, grab him and run my hands over his body, searching for the wound. “Oh my God, I didn’t mean to. Are you okay? Catcher, are you okay?”
He doesn’t say anything and the realization that I may have murdered someone starts to make me dizzy. I don’t know whether I should leave him and go to the surface for help or stay here. I skim my hands up his legs and over his hips, trailing them along his chest that thankfully still rises and falls.
“Catcher,” I shout at him, needing him to be okay. His skin’s hot where I touch him and he winces as my hands slide over his forearm, blood dripping from his wrist. I fumble in my pack for the quilt, shredding a strip from it and pressing it to the wound.
He grunts and rolls away from me but I keep my hands locked on his arm. “You’re hurt,” I tell him, relief rushing through me that he can move.
He pushes at me but he’s still disoriented from the fall.
“You’re hurt,” I explain again. “Just hold still and let me stop the bleeding. I don’t know how deep the cut is. There’s too much blood.”
He jerks up and swings at me, throwing me back from him. “Get away from me,” he roars. My ears ring with the sound of his voice that still echoes up and down the staircase. I sit frozen, my hands grasping at the darkness.
My breath hitches. I’m confused and don’t know how to respond. I reach for him, just slightly, and I hear him back farther away. “Don’t touch me,” he growls.
His words sting and a low rage begins to build inside me. “I was only trying to help,” I lash out at him, any relief at his recovery now gone.
I grope in the darkness for my knife and when my fingers accidentally brush Catcher’s leg, he pulls away. “I said: Don’t. Touch. Me.” He grinds out the words, harsh and commanding.
Every one of my scars feels like it’s on fire, a scalding blush burning my body. Angrily, I fold the remnants of the quilt and shove it back into my bag, yanking it closed.
Without a word I stand, dizzy and disoriented, and feel my way forward along the wall until I find another set of stairs. My worthless eyes blur with tears at his sudden and unexpected censure but it doesn’t matter in this darkness. I fumble down the steps away from this stranger and his anger and heat. Away from the way he makes me feel.
“Annah,” he says, a tinge of apology and wariness in his voice.
I keep walking, my hip aching where I was kicked and my head throbbing from where I hit it during the fall. The pain becomes overwhelming and I stop and take a deep breath and then stagger away from the sound of Catcher.
He shuffles around on the landing, muttering curses, and I hear him start after me. But I push deeper into the darkness. The stairs end and I stumble on solid ground, not knowing where to turn, where to go next. It’s disorienting having no idea where the walls are or where the platform ends—where the tracks are. I’m lost in a sea of black nothingness that crawls along my skin. Catcher trails after me, his footsteps never far behind.
“You said Elias sent you. Where is he?” I hate asking but I have to know. I cross my arms, needing something to hold on to. The darkness makes me dizzy. My head throbs, pounding from where I hit it. I shake it, trying to stop the spinning, but it just makes my brain hit against my skull with an agonizing thud.
Catcher comes near but doesn’t touch me. I hear his breathing, feel his heat. His earlier words echo in my mind, making me feel stupid and worthless, and I dig my fingers into my arms, fighting against the unwanted emotions.
“He’s still with the Recruiters,” Catcher says. My heart jolts, a fluttering pain. My chin trembles.
“He’s okay?” I can only whisper the words. If I say them out loud, I might scare the hope away.
“He promised he was on his way to the Dark City,” Catcher answers, and I squeeze my eyes shut and press my palm to my mouth, trying not to let this stranger hear the way my body shakes with relief.
I don’t say anything in response, wondering if I can trust him. If Elias trusted him. The floor seems to tilt under me and I can’t tell if it’s because of the sparks in my vision or that the ground beneath us is uneven. My stomach starts to roil, my head throbbing harder.
“I’m sorry, Annah,” he finally says, his voice softer. He moves closer to me but keeps some distance. Still, his warmth makes me shiver. My body starts to tip and I throw out an arm to stay steady and balanced.
“It’s just …” He hesitates. I hear what sounds like him running his hands through his hair. I try to remember what he looks like from the brief glimpses on the roof. The gleam of the moon on his neck when he threw his head back to laugh. He’s taller than I am, I know that. I can picture his broad shoulders, long fingers that he cupped around the Unconsecrated women’s arms.