“Hades,” I announced, “is a goat.”
“Wait.” Milo held up her hands. “You named a real goat, or your hallucination of Hades manifests itself as a goat?”
“He feeds his goat his boxers. It’s how he gets off,” Reid commented, then yelled, “Hey Becca, come over here!”
“Swear—” I shook my head. “Every time I tell myself to wake up, the nightmare just gets more real. Why are you guys here?”
Becca jogged toward us.
Milo opened her mouth to speak. We were still on the dock, so I did what any sane person would do in my situation. I pushed her in the water and then yelled, “Quick, sharks!”
Colt swore and dove in after her, followed by Jason, you know, because I tripped him, and then I made a cutting motion with my hand to Reid, who held his hands in the air and stepped back just as Becca approached.
“Sharks? Are you serious, Max?”
“Don’t think I don’t remember!” Reid pointed at Becca. “Don’t think I don’t . . . know things, about what you and Max did.”
She shrugged innocently. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He pointed at her slowly and then walked off.
“No sharks.” I crossed my arms. “They just looked . . . hot.”
“Who are they?” Becca watched in fascination as Colt and Milo dragged themselves to shore. Jason started swimming around happily.
Hmm, could I disown them? Probably not. What was a good lie? I finally went with the truth. “That’s Milo.” I pointed. “We used to be best friends until she made me pretend to be her fake boyfriend, then gay fiancé, and then she had the audacity to go and get married to that tool”—I pointed to Colt—“who slays dragons and shit and thinks that means he deserves the title of Milo’s best friend.” I sighed. “Oh.” I pointed at Jason. “And that’s Satan.”
“Color me crazy, I feel like there’s a story there?” Becca’s cute eyebrows shot up as she nudged me.
“He signed me up for the show and said I was mourning the death of my fiancée, oh, and abandoned me when I was getting a prostate exam. Thanks, jackass!” I yelled at him as he got out of the water and flipped me off.
“You didn’t want to do the show?”
“Do sharks have teeth?”
“Max . . .” She laughed. “I thought you were happy to be here.”
“I am . . .” I grumbled. “Now.”
“So what you’re saying is I should go thank him?”
“I’m sorry, what?” I cupped my ear. “You want to engage in conversation with the Prince of Darkness why?”
Her smile made my heart slam against my chest. “To say thank you.”
“For?”
“Had he not signed you up, I would have never met you . . .”
“You met me at the coffee shop,” I pointed out.
“Right.” She rolled her eyes. “And you also used five lame pickup lines on me. Had it not been for Jason, that would have been both your first and last time talking to me.”
“Cocky?”
“No.” she mimicked my voice. “Extremely insecure.”
“Fine, you may speak to him, just make sure you talk really loud because he’s eighty percent deaf in his left ear.”
“Aw,” Becca sighed. “Poor guy.”
“Yeah, but his manhood more than makes up for all of his faults, at least that’s what he claims. Then again, I’m pretty sure he has an undescended testicle, because he worked for years to get his voice to lower.”
I wasn’t done listing all the things wrong with Jason. By the time he made it to us he’d suffered through herpes, cholera, a bout of H1N1, two bat bites, halitosis, and an unidentified mass on his chest also known as a third nipple.
Don’t judge me. I had to make him as unattractive as possible.
Because he was competition. He was a male and now he knew I was interested in someone, and didn’t that bring out the competitive nature in all guys?
He would pay attention to her just like Reid did.
I wasn’t going to have it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
BECCA
After meeting Max’s friends, I gathered with the rest of the contestants for a giant feast to welcome them to the show.
Apparently they were there to help turn the tables. Each of his friends was going to pick out their favorite girl and plan a date with Max. Everything had been going so well between us that I tried not to be worried. Honestly, the show wasn’t so much about the money anymore. I mean, I still needed it, but somewhere along the way it had turned into something more. It was about . . . finding someone I genuinely had fun and chemistry with.
Yeah, if the chemistry was any hotter I was going to go up in flames.
But Max hadn’t pressured me in any way. Oh, he’d kissed me plenty, but that had been the extent of it. He’d invited me inside his hut, but he’d never . . . tried anything.
Did that mean we were just friends who kissed? Was he toying with me? Just a flirt? His behavior made me want to rethink my priorities. One minute I felt solid in my decision to see where things were going with him, but in that same breath, I’d start to panic. What if he was just being friendly and I lost the money? All of it? How would I finish school? I could always take a year off.
I chewed my lower lip.
Would I do that? Just for a chance with Max?