“You’re shitting me.”
Rex waved him off. “Silly superstition.”
The captain stomped again. Was that a tear? Was he crying?
“Right.” I licked my lips and slowly made my way off the boat.
The captain stopped me and put a piece of metal in my hand, then bent over it. “For the ghosts.”
“Ghosts?” Ah, even more fun surprises to look forward to.
“The Island is haunted with Polynesian ancestors—ones who are upset about the state of the Island’s natural resources.” He nodded. “But the metal protects, it wards them off.”
“And the lizards?”
The captain proceeded to do the same little spit-and-stomp thing and shuddered. “Only God can save you.”
“Awesome.” Well, at least there weren’t goats!
The film crew followed me as we made our way onto the beach and into the hut. It was actually a lot bigger than I’d originally thought. Kind of cozy and—
“SHIT!” I fell back against the door and froze as the shadow of the giant lizard started moving slowly toward me. “Stay back!” I held up the metal piece knowing full well it would do shit, but still.
The shadow got smaller, and then a small green gecko poked out from the wall and waved. Okay, so he didn’t wave, but I felt like such an ass that he might as well have.
A gecko.
Harmless.
“Hey there, little guy.” I approached him slowly and held out my hand. The gecko scurried away. “I shall call you Little G,” I announced. “My only friend. My only partner.”
“Uh, you do know we’re filming this, right?” the producer said from behind me.
“If I go insane and get eaten by one of the women, give my seat on the plane to Little G.”
“Right.” The producer nodded. “Should you sit?”
“What’s your name?”
“Al.”
“Can I call you Big Al?”
“Whatever gets you to do crazy shit and up our ratings.” He smiled.
“Ah, like naming the gecko and adopting it?”
“Nah, like getting a soccer ball, drawing the woman’s face on it, and sleeping with it at night because you’re so torn up she left halfway through the show. Forty million views on that YouTube.”
“Didn’t he go insane?” I vaguely remembered the last Bachelor doing something like that, but the details were blurry.
“He got some sort of island sickness.”
“It’s called the syph.” I nodded. “It happens when you sleep with that many women over and over and over again.”
“Still recording.”
“Still don’t care.” I sighed. “So where do I go now?”
“The bonfire.” Al sniffed. “But until then, why don’t you tell us how you’re feeling being on the Island, are you excited? Scared?”
I rolled my eyes and looked directly in the camera when I said, “I’m so excited I almost shit my pants.”
“Yeah.” Al licked his lips. “You’re just full of joy, I can tell.”
“Or shit.” I smirked. “Take your pick. Speaking of picking, I have women to choose.”
“Good luck with that, they’ve been drinking for the past hour.”
“So they’re dehydrated, drunk, on an island, and desperate?”
“Yeah.” Al nodded. “Sounds about right.”
“Well, God bless the USA.” I made my way toward the door. “Shall we?”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
BECCA
Going on a show to win money? Officially the worst idea I’d ever had and that includes keeping the whole scrunchie trend alive throughout my freshman year of college.
Well, that and my homemade tie-dye shirt.
“Party!” The three young ones that I’d nicknamed lost sheep were already three sheets to the wind, and Max had yet to arrive. Amazon—damn him for making it so that I couldn’t think of her as Gina anymore—was swimming naked in the ocean. One could only hope a shark would catch a whiff of the pine nuts and finish her off—and the rest of the girls were drinking and in various states of undress.
There was enough alcohol to put Arizona State University to shame, and that was saying a lot.
There were five girls to each hut. Each hut had a camera crew and a fully stocked bar. But guess what? No food.
That’s right.
Nothing to soak up the alcohol, not unless any of the girls wanted to go hunting through what jungle we had. Pretty sure that if the worst did happen, the animal would be so petrified of the drunk girl it would just give up and keel over and die on purpose. Hey, I know I would if Amazon were charging toward me.
“The fun has arrived!” Max announced, coming around the corner.
“Ah, shucks, I was hoping for food,” I said, joining him.
“Have a taste.” He winked. “Swear I won’t bite back.”
I opened my mouth to say something snappy but was pushed out of the way by one of the other girls, whom I hadn’t had the pleasure of nicknaming yet.
“Max! I had shots!”
“Did you?” He nodded. “How many? Hold up your fingers.”
“Four!” She held up two fingers.
I winced.
Max patted her head. “Let’s find you some water.”
“Kiss me, Max!”
He shrugged and planted one—directly on her forehead. “Now, let’s find you some water.”