“It’s a figment of your imagination.” I cleared my throat and looked away.
“You love me.”
“I do.”
“You’re wearing a Star Wars shirt.”
I paused and pulled her into my arms. “So you’re saying I’m badass now.”
“You have an R2-D2 on your shirt.” Max came up behind me and slapped my back. “Badass probably isn’t the phrase I’d use . . . just sayin’.”
I lunged again.
Milo shook her head and kissed me softly across the mouth. “Leave it . . .” With a shy smile she stood up on her tiptoes and whispered in my ear, “That way I can rip it off later. You know, return the favor.”
“Hell, yes.”
“If you’re done taking advantage of my sister—you guys have a party to return to.”
“Oh, look!” Max pointed toward the sky. “See, I told you Reid would be fine.”
I looked up. “Well, shit.”
“He’s not fine.” Milo groaned and covered her face with her hands. “He’s on the roof!”
“I knew I should have locked him in the bathroom.” Max tapped his chin. “Oh, look, Grandma’s with him too!”
“He’s going to jump.” Jason shivered and wrapped his good arm around his core. “I can’t even blame him.”
“Reid!” Max yelled. “Are you okay?”
Reid just stared.
I couldn’t see his eyes but I imagined they were full of fear, terror, horror. “Reid! Sweetie! It’s so high up here!” Grandma started moving toward him. Reid turned and walked closer to the edge.
“Walk away from the light, Reid!” Jason shouted up at him. “It’s not worth it, just, just let her—you know—and then it will all be over with.”
“Truth!” Max said. “She’ll probably fall asleep afterwards and then we can all get drunk and this will be like a very, very, very bad dream.”
Reid’s shoulders slumped as Grandma wrapped her arms around him and placed her head on his back. “Oh, you’re so very big and strong, you naughty boy, playing a game of cat and mouse! Well, this kitty’s all riled up and ready to play!”
“I think”—I shuddered and tried to blot out the images of Grandma—“I’ve lost all ability to perform sexually just now.”
Max sighed and elbowed me. “Should have used my diagram.”
“Not now, Max!” It was Milo’s turn to lunge.
“Oh, Reid, turn that little face around so I can give you a proper kiss.”
I swear—I just saw tears rolling down the poor kid’s face. I was willing to break into a pharmacy just so I could get him drugs.
But they didn’t sell those kinds of drugs.
The ones that made you forget.
Unless he was lucky enough to get a roofie.
One could only hope, or in Reid’s case—pray.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
COLTON
It took us a good fifteen minutes to convince Reid not to jump—and even then, I’m pretty sure he would have taken the plunge off the roof had we not intervened.
He and Grandma went back into the house, while Milo and I went in search of clothes.
Things were going smoothly, until Max opened his mouth.
“I’m glad we’re friends,” he whispered as we all crept down the hallway. Max and Jason were shielding us just in case someone saw Milo or me in our current state of disarray.
All we had to do was make it to her bedroom so she could change.
A few feet.
A few feet.
“What?” Jason looked up at Max through his good eye. “What do you mean?” They stopped walking.
Max shrugged. “I’ve always wanted a guy friend. I don’t have many on account of my devastatingly good looks and all-around winning personality. I tend to intimidate those of the same sex—it’s not like I can help the fact that women want me to impregnate them. It’s probably my strong chin or spicy musk.”
“Please don’t say musk.” Milo cringed.
“Can we keep walking?” Seriously. A. Few. Feet.
Jason nodded, but I couldn’t tell if he was smiling because his face was still a bit puffy from the ants. At this point it looked like he’d been stuffing marshmallows in his cheeks and had forgotten to take them out. “I get you, man.” He licked his lips. “I get you.”
Max nodded his head. “I know, dude, I know you do.”
“You’re all right.” Jason held out his hand.
“Brothers don’t shake hands—”
“—they hug,” Jason finished.
“Dear God, save me from more movie references.” I sighed as the guys embraced.
And then panicked as Milo’s aunt slowly turned toward the hall.
“Guys, hurry—”
“Milo! Colton?” She placed a hand to her chest and coughed. “What are you guys doing?”
I can only imagine what it looked like.
A one-eyed, swollen Jason embracing Max. Milo and me watching, one of us without many clothes.
And then Reid and Grandma made it worse by emerging from the room opposite the guest room—holding hands.
“Oh, my.” The aunt fanned herself and looked behind her and then a certain gleam lit her eyes.
“Oh, no, no, no, no.” I held out my hands in front of me. “It’s not like that.”