I sweep some of her hair to the side, which smells faintly of rain, and kiss her gently on the lips. When I pull away, she seems surprised.
“Kayden… I-I…” She struggles for words. “You don’t have to be with me because you feel sorry for me. I didn’t even mean to tell you that. I just got caught up in the moment.”
I gaze down at her, astounded. “I’m with you because I want to be with you.”
She swallows hard. “Even after what I told you?”
I brush my finger along her cheekbone. “Callie, I feel the exact same way about you now as I did an hour ago. Nothing’s different.”
She fights back tears as she blinks her eyes. “Are you sure? Because sometimes… sometimes I’m a mess. What happened just barely wasn’t a one-time thing. I get that way when I remember things.”
I nod, scared as hell. I want to be with her, more than anything at the moment. I just hope I can handle it, for her sake.
Callie
I didn’t mean to drop it on him like a giant bomb, but the need to get away from him so I could rid the vile feeling in my body was too overpowering. I let it slip out, hoping he’d freak out and let me go, but he did the opposite. He held on, allowing me to cry, letting me break apart, and giving me more than he’ll ever know.
Saying it aloud to him was liberating, like I took hold of a part of my life again. I just hope it stays that way.
He doesn’t let me go as I sit up, his body rising up with me. He releases me briefly to climb over me and pick up my bra from off the floor. I loop my arms through the straps and my hands tremble as I reach around to fasten the clasp. He gathers up my shirt next, shaking it out, then slips it over my head. I elevate my arms as he pulls it down over me to cover me up.
“What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” he asks and glances at the window. “Or, should I say night?”
I pull the shirt over the last of my stomach and flip my hair out from under the collar. “I should probably go back to my dorm and get caught up on my homework. I have a lot of papers to write still.”
“You know school is basically going to end in a few days?”
“I know, but I missed a lot of classes when I was… avoiding you.”
He grabs a red shirt from his dresser and pulls it over his head, ruffling his hair into place. “Do you want me to walk you back?”
“If you want to,” I say, feeling guilty for making him do something else for me. He’s already done enough for the night.
A small smile touches at his lips. “I’ll walk you back.”
We head outside together and I feel strange, especially when he places his hand over mine. The lights of my building glimmer in the distance and all I can focus on is getting there.
“Are you going home for Thanksgiving?” he asks as we cross the wet grass and duck beneath the trees, where rain showers down on us.
I shrug. “I wasn’t planning on it, but maybe. My parents were going to fly to Florida for the holidays, but I got a text from my mom earlier today saying they were staying home and that I should come home.”
“You should ride with Luke and me,” he suggests as we cross the street, through the puddles, and hop over the curb. “We’re heading back in a few days or so.”
There are many reasons why I don’t want to go home; one being that the guy that ruined my life could be staying at my house. “I’ll think about it and let you know.”
“You know it could be fun,” he says with a quirky smirk. “You could hang out with Luke and I and we could show you the nonexistent fun times of our life.”
I offer him a half smile, because his words remind me of my life back home and how much I hate it. “Maybe.”
He licks his lips, looking like he might kiss me, and even though I want him to, I still worry that he’s doing this for the wrong reasons. I reach for the handle of the door to my dorm building. “Thanks for walking me home.” I slip my fingers out of his and hurry down the hall, leaving him stunned. I try not to look at the bathroom as I pass by it, but it’s all I can think about, and I end up backtracking.
Once I’m finished I can breathe again.
Kayden
I can’t stop thinking about what happened to Callie. I think she thought telling me would scare me off, but it’s had the opposite effect. I want nothing more than to be with her and protect her, like no one ever did for me. I want to make sure nothing else bad happens to her.
It’s getting close to the holidays and I’m preparing to go back home. Honestly, I don’t want to go back there, but where else am I going to go? I don’t have anyone, but my mom and dad as shitty as they may be. And my mom practically begged me, saying that Tyler would be home and I haven’t seen him in years. I wonder what he’s like now, after years of drinking.
Callie and I have spent the last few days together, watching movies and talking, but it’s been strictly a friend thing. Not because I want it to be, but because I have no idea how to try and take it farther.
I’m walking back to my dorm from my last class before I head home when I spot her wandering around through the trees, reading a book. Her hair is down to her shoulders and she has a long-sleeved grey shirt on and black jeans.
“Reading anything good?” I ask, stopping in front of her.
Her head whips up and she snaps the book shut, which actually is her journal. “Hey, what are you doing?”