Freddie Ashford called on the second morning. I had risen early in order to receive calls with Mrs. Johnson; from my limited wardrobe Rabbit had brought to me a gray linen gown and I wore it plain, wishing again that I had some ornament with which to adorn myself. I sent Rabbit to the trading post to fetch ribbons for me so that I might at least tie one around my neck.
Freddie sat and drank tea with us; he and Kevin chatted politely. It seemed that Freddie was quite good friends with Mr. and Mrs. Johnson; and when he was at the fort he was often in their home. I did my best to be charitable toward him; after all, he had been toward me, at the dance. I still could not forget how he had frightened Cathy; but to me, he was quite obliging.
I learned that Rodney Taylor had gone home to England, and I hid my sigh of relief.
In the afternoons I rested, and in the evenings there were more parties and suppers to attend. Even though my nausea was lessened, I did not feel completely well; I kept Kevin close to me and retired early each night, sometimes leaving before the dancing began. After one such supper, we walked to the Johnson's house arm in arm, the night very warm and still; thunder rumbled distantly. I was thinking of Robbie and wondering what he was doing when Kevin spoke.
"I am concerned for you, Jessie," he said. "You are not yourself."
"It is only a temporary condition," I said. "I shall be myself again soon."
"It is more than just your condition," he said. "If you and Robbie eloped for love of each other, you should be much happier-the both of you."
I could not answer him. He sighed. "God help us."
"He does love me, he does!" I said. "And you know that I love him!"
He sighed again.
"Please do not shun me, Kevin," I pleaded, looking up at him. "Please, I could not bear it."
"Of course I shall not shun, you Jessie."
We said nothing more, and continued on our way. When we reached the house, he kissed me and bid me good night, and then walked away, back toward the fort.
I felt shame thread through me; but I shook it aside. I loved Robbie; I was not ashamed of having given myself to him. I was his wife in name now, as well as in fact, and I would bear his son, and many more children after. Our union would be blessed.