Robbie and Kevin stood as I entered the room; I went toward them. They both bowed over my hand, but neither of them met my gaze. My stomach quaked; I sat and took a tiny sip of wine. The hostess soon brought supper, which was a bowl filled with a thick stew; the smell almost drove me from the table. I took a piece of bread but could not eat it.
Robbie and Kevin did not notice me, and ate heartily.
Finally Robbie put down his spoon and wiped his mouth. "I have told Kevin of the expected bairn," he said, "and of your mother's attack on you."
I felt all the color leave my face, and held onto the edge of the table. I looked toward Kevin.
"I'm sorry, lass, that I could not protect you from our mother," he said.
I let my breath out. "It is no matter," I said. "Robbie protects me now."
"Indeed," said Kevin.
Robbie looked away. Beneath my discomposure and the nausea which was my constant companion, my longing for him grew in me as never before. I rose from the table; Kevin and Robbie stood. "I feel quite unwell," I said; "If you will excuse me, I shall retire."
They bowed, and I turned and left the room; Rabbit followed me up the stairs.
As she helped me to undress, tears filled my eyes. I wiped them away, but they increased, and I wept into my hands until at last I retched into the chamber pot, the wine tasting rotten in my mouth. Rabbit went downstairs and returned with rosewater, and sponged my face and neck.
"There, now, Miss Jessie," she said. "You very tired. Another night of rest, you be feeling better."
The sounds of jovial voices and clattering dishes from downstairs increased. I thought I could not possibly sleep. But the cool, scented water soothed me; Rabbit's hands smoothing my hair and straightening the bedclothes comforted my body, if not my soul. My tears dried.
I was Robbie's wife now. He was my husband. I told myself that, during our journey, he was necessarily preoccupied, but that when we reached our destination, it would be different. He would not keep distant from me then. Then, we would live together as we were meant to do.
______________________
The next day Rabbit was helping me dress after breakfast when there was a knock upon the door. She opened it, and a servant gave her a letter addressed to me.
It was from Mrs. Johnson. I sat down on the bed and read it.