I chewed my lips, my mind in a turmoil. I must see Robbie, I must. But what could I do? I could not simply go haring off to look for him. I was much too ill in any case. Surely he would be home soon.
There was nothing for me to do except return to Gillean.
I would write a letter. He would find it when he reached Brianag. I rose and went to the desk, taking out ink and paper, and wrote with hands that shook.
"Dear Robbie, I must see you at the earliest possible moment. Please come to Gillean immediately you receive this letter. Jessie." I quickly I folded it and lit a candle to melt the sealing wax. When the letter was sealed, I went out into the hall.
"Polo, I have a letter for Mr. Robbie," I said. "I shall depend upon you to see that he receives it." I placed the letter on a table. "Please tell Mrs. Randall that I must take my leave now."
"Yes, miss, yes, miss," he said, and went out.
In a few moments Mrs. Randall hurried in. "Jessie! Please forgive me, I fear I am all aflutter!" she said.
"Madam, indeed, I understand your wish to be with Cathy," I said. "I shall continue home to Gillean now." All at once the nausea returned, and sweat broke out all over my body. I sank down on a settee, feeling exceedingly weak.
"Jessie dear! Are you ill?" said Mrs. Randall. Her voice seemed far away. The edges of the room began to blur.
I put my hands to my cheeks, willing my eyes to clear, my head to steady. "I fear so," I said.
"Polo! Fetch a glass of sherry for Miss Maclaine!" she said, and took my hands in hers. "You must lie down, dear," she said. "I will put you in Cathy's room."
My head felt as if it were being squeezed in a vice; but I somehow willed the strength to speak.
"I will continue to Gillean," I said. "You will wish to go at once to Grant's Hill." I forced myself to look at her, my vision clearing. "Please tell Cathy for me that I shall visit her again in a few days."
Mrs. Randall nodded, her mind already leaping ahead to Grant's Hill.
I returned to the carriage and started for Gillean.
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I arrived as the sun was setting. I was almost fainting from the heat and my nausea, having vomited repeatedly along the way from Brianag. My mother came from the house as I alighted from the carriage.