I understood that sentiment perfectly.
"You must be hungry, Jessie; I shall have Mrs. Smith bring tea," she said, and rang the bell.
Mrs. Smith the housekeeper served tea in the drawing room; I ate ravenously of the biscuit with preserved fruit and rich spring butter. As I finished, we could hear the boys and John returning from their ride.
As they entered I looked up and met Robbie's eyes first; his smile dazzled me, and I smiled back at him in kind. How I longed to run to him, to kiss him as Cathy kissed John!
How wonderful it would be when our love was no longer secret!
The May morning was cool and pleasant, so we all went out onto the back terrace, Cathy sitting on a chaise with August and I beside her, like ladies-in-waiting. The men sat down too, and we all reveled in the warmth of the sun.
"I'm so thankful for warm weather again!" said August.
"I hope that by the end of summer the lawn shall be ready for pall mall," said Cathy.
"Then when you all come to visit me after my lying in, we shall have a game or two."
Everyone chatted pleasantly, August and Cathy still busy with their needlework; I stared across the lawn and beyond the fields, to the forest, adding little to the conversation and occasionally casting a glance in Robbie's direction; he did not look at me, but continued to talk with John and Kevin. A quiver of impatience disturbed my happiness; I hoped that he would speak to my father right away, today, when he left Grant's Hill; and that he would hurry back to bring me home and that I could begin to make wedding plans.
All too soon it was dinnertime; when the gong sounded we all gathered in the dining room and had a lighthearted meal together. When it was over, Kevin and Robbie took their leave.
"Hurry back!" said Cathy. "We shall be impatient for your return."
"Yes!" said August. "We must take long rides before the summer heat arrives."
"We shall!" said Kevin.
Everybody kissed everyone else. I restrained myself; I wanted to turn my mouth to his as Robbie's lips brushed my cheek. We all stood on the veranda watching them ride away.
I clutched at the post, my heart swelling so that I felt it would burst. Watching Robbie go away from me, when I wanted so much to be near him, brought a pain that stabbed at my heart like a knife. I drew long breaths and composed myself.