She sat up; I supported her with my arm around her. "Missing!" she laughed a little and wiped her eyes on her handkerchief. "Robbie is always missing! He shall be home any day. He wrote to us, only-how long ago, Jessie? Just a few weeks ago, it was."
"Yes, that is right," I said, looking at Charles. "You see? We know Robbie well. He will come home when he is ready."
Charles looked from one to the other of us. "I pray that you are right, madam," he said.
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Now I could not stop thinking of Robbie. Over and over again I went through the time since my illness. I had fallen ill in August. We had come home to Brianag in midOctober. Eco had told Charles that she had not seen Robbie since the month of October.
Robbie had written to us the first week of December; the fight had taken place just two weeks ago.
Where could he be? Surely he would come home at any minute. Perhaps he had become separated from the other boys and become lost in the mountains. Surely he would find his way back. He knew the mountains, knew the swamps, he would find his way, he would be at Brianag any dayWhat could have happened? Again, my mind went to the month of my illness, to our journey home, to the Harvest Ball, to Robbie's letter saying he would be home for Christmas. Where could he be?
I would go look for him.
How foolish I was! If the clan could not find him, how could I?
I could not eat dinner that day; Mrs. Randall did not come out of her room. I sent letters to my father and to Cathy, telling them the news Charles had brought. I wandered through the house, from the drawing room to the sewing room and back again. Dusk fell, and the evening grew colder. The servants piled more wood onto the fires.
I went upstairs to change for supper; as Rabbit tied my stays she pinched the skin beneath my arm, and I slapped her. She cowered.
Immediately, I covered my mouth with my hands. "Oh! Rabbit! I'm so sorry! Forgive me."
"Yes, madam," she said, her head down, cringing.
I had not struck a servant since I had left Gillean. I would not begin to do so again. I said, "Please, Rabbit. Forgive me. It is inexcusable."
She raised her head and looked at me. I looked directly into her eyes. "Please," I said.