And what of your son in me?" Tears began running down my cheeks and I brushed them away with my hands. "You are not blameless! You were quite willing to take me-an untouched maid as I was, the sister of your best friends, the daughter of your neighbor! And also willing to take me a second time, when you could have avoided me-in Cathy's garden!
And all while you were rutting with a heathen whore!" My voice rose to a scream as grief and rage nearly cracked me apart.
He took me by the arms, shaking me. "Never say that again, or I shall beat you," he said through his teeth. "She is no more whore than you are. She asks for nothing-unlike you, my dear!"
I wrenched myself away from him and stood struggling to suppress my sobs. I was vividly aware of the slight heaviness in my womb; I felt that my son was waiting for me to speak for him, to defend him. I steadied myself and wiped my cheeks again.
"Robbie Stewart," I said, "I am your wife and you have sworn to keep yourself for me only until one of us is dead. Do you intend to keep your vow?"
His eyes looked at me steadily. "Yes, of course I do, before God," he said.
"My son will share nothing with any of your bastards, be they Indian, Negro or white. Do you understand me?"
When he did not speak I continued, "My son will be the lord of Brianag. He will have many sons of his own, and Brianag will grow even more great under his stewardship. You must remember that you are descended from the kings of Scotland! You are the son of a Scot and the father of a Scot! You have a great burden to carry! I am not a Creek woman! I cannot do it all alone!" I sank into a chair and broke into sobs, covering my face with my hands.
For a moment he said nothing, then: "Ach, lass, you shall not be alone," he said; "I will take care of you and the bairn." Then he turned and went down the steps and away from the cabin.
I ran inside, throwing myself onto the bed in a frenzy of weeping. I felt I could not bear it. Robbie was not mine, he had not given himself to me truly in marriage, he had married me because I had forced him to, because it was the honorable thing to do, and not because he loved only me. My sobbing grew into wails. How was I to endure my misery?