Jan. 2.
If women are not meant to study, Prof. Darmstetter should be pleased with me. Instead of working up my laboratory notebooks, I have sat until midnight, dreaming.
"Go to bed early and get your beauty sleep," says Aunt, but I push open the window and lean upon the sash and let the cold air blow over me. I'd like to dance a thousand miles in the moonlight; I'm so young, and so strong, and such glorious things are coming!
To-morrow I shall have a foretaste of the future; I shall know what other people--not John and my relatives--think of me. Ah, there's only one thing they can think! To-morrow'll be the beginning of the world to me.
To-morrow! To-morrow! Aunt Frank has sent out cards for an "At Home." And it's to-morrow!
Oh, I'm glad I came here! I revel in the new home.
I like the house; it looks so big and solid. I like my cousins--quiet little creatures. They wait upon me, anticipate my smallest wish, and defer to my opinions as if I were a white star queen dropped from the ether; all but Boy, and even he respects me because I can construe Caesar.
I like my Aunt--devoted to clubs and committees, though she's forgotten them now in her eagerness to introduce me. Ah, to-morrow! Blessed to- morrow! And I like Aunt Marcia Baker. I wonder if, when I am older, I too shall be serene and stately, with a face that seems to have outlived sorrow; I can hardly believe now that I shall care to live at all when people's eyes have ceased to follow my beauty. When for me there are no more to-morrows.
I think I shall like Mr. Hynes; he's almost one of the family, for he is betrothed to Milly, and I'm glad--ah, so glad I'm not she! What a life she looks forward to--each day exactly like its fellows; a droning, monotonous existence, keeping house, overseeing the cooking--perhaps doing it herself; for he's only a young lawyer, just starting in life!
But I like his face, so full of impulse and imagination. I believe he's a man who might go far and achieve much. Why should he handicap himself with an early marriage?
It's well enough for Milly; she doesn't understand her limitations. Why, she's almost as eager over to-morrow as if it could mean to her what it does to me; and that is an outlook into a life so glad, so wonderful!
Dear, good Aunt Frank proposed the tea before my trunks were fairly unpacked.
"Won't your Professor give you a holiday from--is it microbes you study?" she inquired. "Sure they're not dangerous?"