Locking the door behind me, I walked over to see my girl. She looked deceptively peaceful as she slept, and I needed some of that peace now. Peeling off my suit, I climbed into bed and wrapped my body around her. Thinking back over the day, I knew she needed a man who was gentle and kind to see her through this. I was neither of those things. The fury I was going to unleash would take me to a place darker than I’d ever been. Maybe at the end of it, I’d be dead or behind bars myself. Fuck it. The angel in my arms had given me salvation. If I had to go back into hell to keep her safe, so be it.
Chapter 18
Em’s eyes blinked open as she woke and automatically looked for me.
“Hey,” she said, and I knew by her gravelly voice that she’d spent a good part of yesterday crying.
“Mornin’, love,” I answered her.
“You been awake for long?” she asked.
“Not long,” I assured her. I’d been awake for two hours, and before that, I hadn’t slept much all night. The last time I’d fallen into a fitful sleep, I dreamed that Frank had taken her from outside the courtroom, and that her body had been left on the steps of the gym. I woke as I dreamed of holding her in my arms, her blood pooling beneath me as life drained from her tiny body. The tears I’d cried in sleep were still wet on my cheeks when my eyes opened. I didn’t try and sleep again. My eyes were scratchy from staring so hard, like she was some kind of ghost who’d fade and disappear if I turned away, even for a moment.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, knowingly.
“Things didn’t go so well yesterday,” I admitted.
“She sold me out, didn’t she?” Em said sadly, and I nodded.
“Tell me everything, O’Connell. I need to know,” she pleaded.
“Trust me, love. You really don’t. She sided with Frank. That’s all you need to know.” I replied, desperate to protect her from as much of the fallout as I could. “So fuck the bitch,” I told her. “She sold you down the river when she let Frank get away with raping you. I never thought any parent who did that would change, so fuck her. Her and that bastard can rot in hell for I care,” I told her venomously.
“She’s still my mum though. It still hurts,” she admitted.
“I know, love,” I told her sadly.
I would make this right for her but she couldn’t know that. So for the moment, I’d do my best to help her through this.
“Let’s stay here today. We’ll take a day off from school and training and court and just spend the day in bed, watching old movies,” I suggested, knowing full well that I couldn’t afford to take the days off from training I already had, let alone another one to just stay in bed. None of that mattered though. Everything was secondary to taking care of my wife. It always would be.
“I can’t think of anything I’d love to do more,” she said, and I waited for the “but.” I knew it was coming by the look of determination on her face.
“But we’re going to court,” she told me.
“Why put yourself through it, Sunshine? You know your being there won’t make any difference to the verdict.”
“I want Frank to know I’m not scared of him anymore and that I’m not alone. He might get away with what he did but I’ve cried the last tear I’m going to cry over what happened. I have a wonderful life ahead of me, and I want to live it. So let’s go to court and show them that we’re not afraid, get this thing over with, and get on with our lives.”
“It can’t possibly be that easy, love,” I cautioned her.
“It won’t be. Of course it won’t be. I have waking nightmares every day when a smell or a sound brings back what happened but you told me once that the good stuff takes up room, so we have to let the bad stuff out to make that happen. That’s what the therapy is for. But for now, the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
“That sounds like another one of them famous quotes,” I said.
“Franklin D. Roosevelt in his presidential inauguration speech.”
“You are wicked smart, you know?” I told her. “I love that you want to be strong and move on from this, I really do. I mean, watching you cry over what this guy did kills me a little bit more each time I see it. But I don’t think I can let it go that easily. I didn’t protect you once, despite my promises, and when he’s released I feel like I’d be letting you down a second time.”
“You have to try, O’Connell, or he’s not only ruined my past. He’s ruined my future as well.” That was never going to happen. I would take care of that for her, and she’d never have to be afraid of anything else ever again.
We turned up for court at nine, but deliberation took much longer than any of us thought. When the steps became too cold, we moved to the benches in the lobby outside the courtrooms. Eventually, when I didn’t think I could wait much longer, the clerk came out of the dark, heavy oak door and told us that a verdict had been reached. We filed silently into the courtroom one by one, with Em sitting in the middle of us.
Without prompting, Danny and I, who were seated either side of her, held each of her hands tightly. Em’s mum, who was already seated on the other side of the courtroom, had turned to face us when we filed in. For a brief moment, she caught Em’s eye, but Sunshine quickly turned her face away. She was done, and by the wave of regret that washed over her mother’s face, her mum knew it too. Like I said before, fuck the bitch.
She turned to watch as Frank was brought up from the cells in cuffs; we all did. The bastard had the brass balls to wink at Em as he was led to his seat, and I wanted to vault over the barrier and remove his kidney. Maybe removing it was ambitious but I was pretty sure I could render it useless for the rest of the cock’s miserable life with one good punch.
Sunshine filled me with pride. In a gesture completely unlike her, she lifted her hand and gave him the finger. Frank frowned angrily. This wasn’t the same girl he left bleeding on the floor. The courtroom went silent as the judge left his chambers and the clerk said, “All rise.” We stood, then sat again as the judge was seated. The clerk moved over to Frank. “The defendant will stand,” he called out, and Frank stood up smugly.
“Members of the jury, will your foremen please stand,” the clerk said, and an older guy rose from the jury. He had a kind look about him, and I closed my eyes, hoping this guy could deliver me a miracle. Hoping that he would deliver me justice.