I wrapped my fingers around Eric’s wrists, trying to breathe. “Was that intentional?” I asked, wriggling beneath his grip. He was still so strong. I tried to make sense of what I’d seen, but the only thing I knew for certain was that it was a secret—something Eric didn’t want me to know. When Eric didn’t speak, I added, “Did you mean to show me that? Cause I’m guessing it was an accident. Since you seem rather pissed off and all … ” The expression on his face gave one answer, and his eyes gave another.
He snarled in my face, “Never speak of it. Ever.” His grip loosened and I fell to the floor, coughing. He shouldered past Collin and bounded up the metal staircase two at a time. When his foot hit the top step of the landing he said, “If the stone is where I left it, I’ll be back.” The metal door slammed behind him.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Collin was eerily quiet. His neck snapped back toward me when Eric crashed through the metal doors above. He pulled me up into his arms, as if he needed to protect me from the deranged angel. He pressed me tightly against his body, and then pulled back to look at my neck. But I just stood there, unable to believe what I’d seen. Eric. Soft, meek, kind Eric was still there. He was hidden by cruelty and pain, and all too happy to inflict it on others—except me. With me it was different. I could see it. He would slash Collin and revel in it. The pain he caused me was different somehow, but I didn’t know why. The only thing that I could see was that the agony of his life twisted him into a monster. And now he was a monster with a soul. And what I’d just seen—I wasn’t supposed to. If Collin had noticed, he wouldn’t be concerned about me. For some reason, I was the only one who saw. And Eric didn’t want me to.
I pushed my hair out of my face, and assured Collin that I was fine. “He won’t hurt me, Collin.” I tried to brush it off, and act like it didn’t affect me, but he wouldn’t let me.
“He just threw you into a wall and tried to strangle you.” There was tension in his voice as he fought to speak at a normal tone and not scream in my face. It was Eric he hated, not me. “I don’t think you quite get what’s going on here.” He looked down at me, concerned.
I turned away from him. The things that swam in front of my eyes, the revelation of Eric’s cruelty still crystal clear in my mind. I didn’t fully understand what I’d seen, but I was certain it was real. Otherwise Eric wouldn’t have stormed off. But speaking of things, things tied to dark magic was foolish. It was possible speaking of it would only make it worse—make the curse strengthen. I didn’t want that. At one time, I would have wished Eric every happiness in the world—but now. I felt so torn. Half of me wanted to kill him. The other half just wanted to submit to ease his pain. Pain I knew I was contributing to. Not from turning him Valefar. No, it went deeper than that and Eric knew it. Close proximity and luck enabled me to see the entirety of his curse. It wasn’t as clear as Lorren had thought. Eric was right—his curse for using the stone was much greater than anyone thought.
I cleared my throat and said, “Let me rephrase then. He won’t kill me. He has to act like that. He’s hiding something. He’s not quite human. I’m not sure what he is, but I know he won’t kill me. He needs me. And, at some point I’m going to have to give him some of my power.”
Collin’s eyes widened, and jaw locked as he stared at me with disbelief. His arms folded tightly across his chest, showcasing every ripped muscle, tense behind a flimsy black tee shirt. When Collin finally spoke, he lowered his head, pressing his eyes closed. “What did you see... ?”
I saw Eric. I saw what he was. What I made him. I placed my hand on Collin’s forearm and looked into his perfect face. “I can’t tell you. That won’t do anything. It might even make it worse. It’s the curse. It’s affecting things—things he does. I can’t say more than that, but I need him here. Without him, I don’t think we can overthrow Kreturus. Please understand.” I waited, but Collin’s face didn’t burst into a smile. He glared at me like I was the most stubborn, stupid person alive. Maybe I was. But it was my fate, my destiny and they were both part of it. I pressed my lips together and explained the one thing I could—the one thing that I knew he wouldn’t refute. “The prophecy says I need both of you, or I’ll die. Collin, please. I know you realize it. And I know you want to protect me, but...”
He exhaled loudly, and shoved his hands into his hair as he turned away from me. “Gah. You drive me completely crazy.” He laughed harshly, releasing some of the tension that was strung in his body. “You want me to let this guy beat you, steal your power, possibly take more of your soul—and trust him not to kill you?” He turned back to face me as he spoke. By the time he finished, I could see the panic in his eyes. He realized what I was asking him to do, if the event arose. And I was certain it would.
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking, as crazy as that sounds. Collin, Eric can use my power. It has to be why he’s here. He’s used the stone, so he can’t steal it and use it again. And...” Collin started to say something, but I cut him off, “I know you don’t want it. No one in their right mind would want to use the stone after meeting people who have.” I laughed nervously. “And they were angels, Collin. Angels. Lorren and Eric’s lives got ripped to pieces. They’re suspended in constant agony for using the Stone. And here I am acting like I can do it and pay the price.” I shook my head. At best it was suicide. And at worst... Oh, God, I didn’t want to think about what the worst could be. I doubted Lorren or Eric could have ever dreamed up their curse. And here I was, getting in line to use the Stone for a third time. I didn’t want to. I looked up at Collin, “What choice do I have?”
Collin’s gaze rested on my face for a moment, before he reached for me and cradled me in his arms. “You always have a choice,” he smiled against the top of my head, “you’re the only person who doesn’t see it.”
I pulled away from him, shocked, “You think joining Kreturus is a choice? Are you insane? You were forced to be his slave for eternity. How can you say that?”
He reached for my face, brushing his thumb along my cheek. He leaned closer and looked down into my eyes. “Many people don’t have the heart it takes to do what’s right. Most people wouldn’t knowingly sacrifice themselves to save someone else. And yet, here you stand, not even considering another option.” He glanced away, breaking our gaze. When he finally spoke again, he asked, “So, your powers revealed something about him—something that I couldn’t see?” I nodded. “Hmm. And I’m supposed to let him beat you and not do anything?” I nodded again. He laughed and shook his head. With a heavy sigh, he finally answered, “That’s why you don’t, fight back. That’s why you let him treat you that way, isn’t it?” I nodded once. It was a fact. A fact that I would change if I could. But at this stage in life, accepting it was all I could do. Collin was silent for a long time. His heart beat rhythmically in his chest.
With a deep breath, he finally said, “I don’t understand, but I trust you. I trust this is important for a reason I can’t comprehend. I can’t say I won’t do anything if he hurts you...” I started to protest, but Collin put a finger on my lip to silence me, “But I promise that I’ll do the best I can. That’s all I can offer.”
A moment passed. And then two. Collin’s gaze fixated on my mouth. My lips parted slightly, as a breath slipped out of my body. His hands moved around my waist, sliding to the small of my back as he pulled me to him. The hollow place inside my chest felt like it was going to explode. I should feel something. Some lust. Some anger. Some need to feel his hands on me—but there was nothing. Just a hollow ache telling me that part of me was dead, forever missing.
Before I could stop him, Collin pressed his lips to mine. Lorren said I wouldn’t be able to kiss him again without taking my soul back, but nothing happened. That part of me seemed dormant, dead like every other desire within me. So, I allowed it and let the kiss linger wishing I could feel something. My fingers moved over toned muscles and up the curve of his arm to Collin’s neck.
I pressed my lips against his, opening my mouth for him to taste me. And he did. I should have swooned. I should have melted. But I didn’t. My fingers tangled in his silky hair as he kissed me. My eyes were closed tight, wishing I could feel something—anything. It was so lonely, all the time. Being denied touch, the emotions and sensations that went with it, was cruel. And yet, I’d chosen this. I’d chosen to not feel his hands on my body or taste his lips when they touched mine. I’d killed the bond between us, deafening it until it was so weak and muted that it no longer existed. Collin was my soul mate, but I felt nothing at all.
When I couldn’t take it another second, I broke away from him. I wiped the kiss from my mouth with the back of my hand. I didn’t know what to do—how to fix it. Desperation covered my thoughts, making them frantic. If I could feel him again, if for only a second, it would make me stronger. Happy. Content. My life went to Hell. Literally. There was nothing left of my previous life. There was no comfort. There was no moment of solace. Nothing to shield me from constant pain. But it didn’t have to be that way. There was one thing that made me feel. One action that could make me sense Collin again—the way I used to. I gazed at Collin with my lips parted, breathing hard.
A single thought manifested in my mind. A reason, a small ray of hope that grew larger and louder as his caress fell on my numb body. It would work. It had to work. But I didn’t think he would do it. And I didn’t know if I should ask. I stared at Collin blankly, wishing things were different. Wishing things were the way they had once been when we sat in this space and laughed when he touched me and my body ignited. Things were so simple then. Anything was possible. But now…
He was breathing heavily, as he watched me. Collin finally said, “Tell me what you’re thinking. The bond is completely broken. I can’t sense you at all anymore. and the look on your face is worrying me.” He shoved his hair back, and stood opposite me. Waiting. Waiting for an answer to a question I was afraid to ask.
If I asked, and he said yes—oh, God, I wanted to his feel his touch again, but it came at a price. A price that I didn’t know if I could pay. And for what? For pleasure? For a few seconds of lust burning through my body? Was it worth it? Should I ask? I didn’t realize that I was twisting my fingers until Collin took them in his hands.
He looked down at me. A small smile tugged at his lips. “Your eyes are rimming. What do you want, Ivy?” He whispered my name and I could feel my reply try to pour into my mouth, but I locked my jaw, refusing to ask. His hand brushed my cheek as he threaded his fingers through my hair. I tried to turn away, but he didn’t let me. “Tell me.”
I looked at the floor and the square gray tiles, trying to untie the knot in my tongue. “It’s greedy. I don’t need it, and shouldn’t even think about it, never mind ask you.” I tried to pull away again, but he yanked my waist tighter, pulling me flush against his body.