I didn’t know who that woman was. She wasn’t me. I wouldn’t stand there half naked and command a demon army to kill everything and everyone. Eric held me tight. The muscles in my arms started to tremble because they were so tense. I tried to pull away from him. “Say it,” his voice dripped with desire, trying to coax it from me. Jenna Marie watched wide-eyed, doing nothing to stop him. “Tell me, whisper it to me.” My stomach filled with flutters as I started to melt in his arms. Part of me stopped fighting, wondering what would be so bad about telling him. But the other half of my mind wouldn’t permit it. I had to squelch the desire so I could pull away. I leaned in to kiss him, to press my lips to his, but he made sure our lips didn’t meet. Instead he dangled himself in front of me.
Pressing my eyes closed, I gave in to him. I was too weak. “I was half-naked.” The desire evaporated as my words shocked Eric and he didn’t hold the bloodlust in place. I sneered at him, and connected my fist with his stomach. Eric gasped with an oof. “Next time you do that to me, I’m going to beat the shit out of you.”
He smirked, “You said next time... ” I growled at him, ready to fight more when Jenna Marie cleared her throat.
“That was... interesting.” Her voice was higher than usual. Her eyebrows were suspended in an odd expression too high on her face. When they finally fell to their normal place, she re-crossed her legs and put her hands in her lap. “Naked?” she questioned.
I shot out of my seat. “Yes. Okay? It was a battle and I was walking around like fucking Aphrodite, waiting to be... whatever.” I turned my back from them, annoyed. Embarrassed. And tugged my hair out of my face. Sniggers broke out behind me, followed by a loud laugh from Jenna Marie. Turning sharply, I said, “What! What’s so funny?”
But she and Eric just looked at each other and couldn’t stop laughing. I stood there feeling even more stupid while they calmed down. Eric wiped a tear from his eye as he looked up at me. Disgusted, I folded my arms across my chest and turned away. He jumped up, grabbing my shoulder, and trying to be serious said, “Don’t be like that. You just have such a way with words,” his face broke into a smile as he laughed softly, like I was the funniest person he’d ever met. “Then she was laughing, and that made it worse. I’m sorry. That must have been embarrassing. Or something.” And he started laughing again. With a huff, I twisted out of his grip and stepped outside the tent into the early morning snow.
Breathing deeply, I tried to calm down. So maybe it was funny. I just didn’t feel it. I walked through the center of camp. It was nearly abandoned after the Dreanok attack. It was so close to the old camp, the camp that we took Shannon from. I gazed at the sky as I walked, folding my arms over my chest. The sky was blood red. Gray snow clouds covered it in thin streaks. A hand landed on my shoulder, making me jump.
When I turned around, I was staring at Collin’s blue eyes. “How’d you get in here?” was the first thing out of my mouth. His eyes revealed nothing.
His mouth was in a thin line. Collin wore his black leather jacket, jeans, and biker boots. Snow clung to his damp hair. He’d been outside for a while. “I have ways.” I wasn’t sure what those ways were, not unless Jenna Marie was the only angel here and let him walk in. After a moment, he looked over his shoulder. A Martis was moving in a nearby tent. Collin tilted his head, indicating I should follow. We wound through the camp, to the back. After passing three tents, he opened a flap and gestured me inside. He followed me in. Dusting snow from his hair, he asked, “Have they told you?”
Confused, I looked at him, “Told me what?” I wondered how he’d react to what I’d said. Would Collin have laughed too?
He pulled his jacket off, shaking it out. The supple leather was wet. He finally sat down, and kicked his boots up before answering. “What happened after you left? And the stuff about the stone?” I shook my head slowly. “Then what were they...?” he trailed off. He didn’t understand what they could be talking about that was more important. I suppose finding the last prophecy was a bit of a distraction.
Pushing his fingers through his hair, Collin avoided my gaze and said, “Kreturus seemed to think the dragon was the Omen. He was pissed that Shannon took the spell that was meant for you. I don’t know how she got there in time. Eric saw Kreturus throw it, but he couldn’t intercept its path. And I was too far away. By the time I effonated, it would have been too late. We failed you, but she didn’t.” He was quiet for a moment. “Eric didn’t force her to do it. I saw him. His lips didn’t move. I know that you were probably wondering what to believe...” he gazed at the floor. I still stood in front of him, wearing jeans and a tee shirt Eric gave me. Thank God I wasn’t wearing pink. Collin kicked out a chair with his foot—the only other chair in the small space. “Sit.”
Glancing at him, I moved toward the chair, my arms still wrapped tightly around my middle. “I was wondering what to believe.” For the first time since he’d started talking, he looked at me.
His eyes were flighty, as if they couldn’t stand to meet mine. Collin glanced to the side, “About that.” He meant, about Apryl—about my sister. “I thought you knew.” He worked his jaw, as if he was trying to dislodge something bitter. “There were so many things I did, and I’m not gonna hide behind Kreturus and say he made me do it. I said those things back there to draw you to the stage, so you could tell that we were trying to help you. I do take responsibility for every life I took,” his blue gaze met mine, “for every ounce of pain I’ve caused. I was damned before you met me, and now I’ve stolen everything that mattered to you. Everything I’ve touched was destroyed, utterly decimated. Your entire family died at my hand. I know you realize that. And I don’t expect you to,” he swallowed, choking on his words, “to do anything. To act any different than you would with anyone else.” His fingers clenched and smoothed on his lap. Shame covered him thickly, slumping his shoulders, and pulling his gaze downward.
I stared at him. I’d already decided what I would do before I saw him. Allowing him to speak was a formality. He didn’t cower or grovel. Collin expected me to choose vengeance. At least that was what it seemed. My arms tightened as he spoke, a lump forming in my throat. As he said the last word, I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to hear it. I knew! I already knew and there was nothing to be done about it. There was no changing the past. There was no bringing back the dead. I swallowed hard. Jumping to my feet, I grabbed his shirt in my hands, pressed his forehead to mine, and tilted him back in his chair.
Surprised, Collin clutched the seat of the chair as I dipped it back. “Look at me,” I demanded. His gaze flicked to mine. Emotions washed over him, emotions that I could no longer feel. Eric’s blood subdued his, making it like a weak whisper in the back of my mind. “I knew who you were before you did. I knew what you were capable of—what you did. I had the pieces to connect my sister to you, and I didn’t. I didn’t because we’ve already been over this and it doesn’t change a damn thing. There is no point in discussing the past. It’s over. It’s gone. If we’re lucky, you and I have today, and maybe tomorrow. Beyond that is too much to hope for, and there is no way in Hell I’m spending those days without you. I accept you. I know who you are. What you were...”
I released him, and stepped back. Collin’s chair thudded down on all four legs. His hand smoothed his shirt as he looked up at me, surprised. Breathing hard, I asked, “The question is, do you accept what I have been and what I will become? Will you still love me after whatever happens, happens? Will you still love me when I murder without thought—as I already have.” Swallowing hard, I looked down, shaking my head. When I looked back up at Collin’s face, his eyes met mine, “I saw the thirteenth prophecy, Collin. Kreturus has it. I hold demons and angels in my palms. I stood watching a battle, without so much as a breastplate to protect me...without anything to cover me. I don’t know how I get there. I don’t know when or how that will become me. The question is, will you accept me then?”
My eyes stung. I’d just admitted a plethora of things that I wanted to denounce. I couldn’t offer the prophecy, and my interpretation of it, to Jenna Marie and Eric, but to Collin—it slid off my tongue. I couldn’t keep it a secret. He was my other half, my soul mate. Worry wrinkled the space between my eyes. My teeth sank into my lower lip, as I fought to keep my gaze cool and even. It killed me to say it. I didn’t want to admit all that yet, but I had to. I had to say it, because... I was no better than him. All the things Collin did, I would do, if not more. It didn’t matter what the reason was, the hand that killed was mine. Kreturus’ words stung. I was so close to being the ruthless Queen everyone expected me to be. There was only one thing anchoring me, keeping me from becoming her—from wanting to be her. And it was this boy, the perfect boy standing in front of me.
Collin hadn’t moved. As I spoke, his eyes drifted away from my face and down toward the floor. He pressed them closed a few times, and remained that way when I stopped speaking. His jaw tightened as he looked up at me. His eyes shone like twin pools, “I accept who you are now, and what you will become.” As he spoke my heart soared. I tried to wipe the stupid smile off my face, but I couldn’t. He stood slowly and walked toward me as he spoke. There was an intensity in his gaze and determination in his step. One of his hands slid around my waist, and the other tilted up my chin. His eyes lingered on my lips, as my heart fluttered in my chest. He pressed a soft kiss to my mouth, pulling back long enough to say, “I love you, Ivy Taylor. I always have. I always will. No matter what...”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Collin kept his arms wrapped around me tightly, my head tucked under his chin. I wasn’t certain how long we remained like that until the tent flapped opened. My heart jumped into my throat. Collin wasn’t supposed to be here. We pulled apart like we were caught doing something horrible.
“You two make me sick. You act like two fucking lovebirds who think that love will save the day,” Eric chided. His arms were folded over his chest. A white tee shirt clung to his body like a second skin. His dark jeans and shirt were both wet, plastered to his body from the snow. He shook off the precipitation like a dog, ruffling his fingers through his hair, splattering us.
“Eric,” I gasped, ignoring everything he just said. I loved Collin. I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t think it would change anything. And it had the potential to make things suck even more. But it was a risk I was willing to take. Collin’s fingers intertwined with mine. I was worried about him. He shouldn’t be here. Pushing my hair out of my face, I asked urgently, “Where’s the dagger? Do you have it? We need to get out of here. All three of us...”
Before Eric could speak, I heard her voice echo from the other side of the flap. “No, I do.” Jenna Marie, pushed her way through. A gust of wind tangled her hair. She held the hair down, against her cheek, hiding her hideous scar. When she stepped inside, she held Shannon’s dagger between her fingers. A grin spread across her face. “Were you seriously going to leave without me? Ivy?” She glowered at me, scolding me.