. "Angel," she said, as if waiting for this, "do you know what I have
been running after you for? To tell you that I have killed him!"
A pitiful white smile lit her face as she spoke.
"What!" said he, thinking from the strangeness of her manner that she
was in some delirium.
"I have done it--I don't know how," she continued. "Still, I owed it
to you, and to myself, Angel. I feared long ago, when I struck him
on the mouth with my glove, that I might do it some day for the trap
he set for me in my simple youth, and his wrong to you through me.
He has come between us and ruined us, and now he can never do it any
more. I never loved him at all, Angel, as I loved you. You know it,
don't you? You believe it? You didn't come back to me, and I was
obliged to go back to him. Why did you go away--why did you--when I
loved you so? I can't think why you did it. But I don't blame you;
only, Angel, will you forgive me my sin against you, now I have
killed him? I thought as I ran along that you would be sure to
forgive me now I have done that. It came to me as a shining light
that I should get you back that way. I could not bear the loss of
you any longer--you don't know how entirely I was unable to bear your
not loving me! Say you do now, dear, dear husband; say you do, now I
have killed him!"
"I do love you, Tess--O, I do--it is all come back!" he said,
tightening his arms round her with fervid pressure. "But how do you
mean--you have killed him?"
"I mean that I have," she murmured in a reverie.
"What, bodily? Is he dead?"
"Yes. He heard me crying about you, and he bitterly taunted me; and
called you by a foul name; and then I did it. My heart could not
bear it. He had nagged me about you before. And then I dressed
myself and came away to find you."
By degrees he was inclined to believe that she had faintly attempted,
at least, what she said she had done; and his horror at her impulse
was mixed with amazement at the strength of her affection for
himself, and at the strangeness of its quality, which had apparently
extinguished her moral sense altogether. Unable to realize the
gravity of her conduct, she seemed at last content; and he looked
at her as she lay upon his shoulder, weeping with happiness, and
wondered what obscure strain in the d'Urberville blood had led to
this aberration--if it were an aberration. There momentarily flashed
through his mind that the family tradition of the coach and murder
might have arisen because the d'Urbervilles had been known to do
these things. As well as his confused and excited ideas could
reason, he supposed that in the moment of mad grief of which she
spoke, her mind had lost its balance, and plunged her into this
abyss. It was very terrible if true; if a temporary hallucination, sad. But,
anyhow, here was this deserted wife of his, this passionately-fond
woman, clinging to him without a suspicion that he would be anything
to her but a protector. He saw that for him to be otherwise was
not, in her mind, within the region of the possible. Tenderness was
absolutely dominant in Clare at last. He kissed her endlessly with
his white lips, and held her hand, and said-