Tears pushed and my nose filled, but I wouldn’t cry. Not yet. Not until I had proof. I fell asleep clutching his shirt tight.
* * *
“Avry.” A voice shattered my dream.
With effort, I opened one eye. Ryne knelt next to me.
“Go away,” I mumbled, rolling over.
“Avry, we need to talk.”
“I don’t want to talk to you. Go away.”
“You can’t avoid me.”
True. I sighed. “We’ll chat in the morning, before the search parties go out. Okay?”
“I’ve called off the search.”
I sat up, turning. “What? Why?” Fury blew away the sleep fog.
He reached for my hand, but I jerked back. Ryne settled back on his heels. “He’s gone, Avry.”
“No. You’re wrong.”
“I wish I was, really I do.” Ryne pushed a lock of his brown hair from his tired hazel eyes. Worry lines creased his face and he appeared much older than twenty-seven—the same age as Kerrick. “Remember that book on magicians I have?”
“Couldn’t forget that.” I didn’t bother softening my sarcasm. His school textbook on magicians and their powers had led to Ryne leaving me behind to be caught in Tohon’s nasty trap. I shuddered at the memory.
He ignored my tone. “It reports that forest mages go into the woods when they die. And their bodies disappear.”
“No. Not buying it. What if they’re in a city?”
“Avry, it fits. You know it. Death Lily toxin is lethal. He died in the woods and the living green reclaimed its gift to him.”
“No.”
“Then why can’t we find his body? And if he didn’t die, why isn’t he here? You know Kerrick, he would never just leave you.”
“No. No. No. No!” I screamed the last one. And with that one word, all the emotions I’d been suppressing burst from my core. I collapsed as great gasping sobs pounded my body.
CHAPTER 3
I woke in Ryne’s arms. He was curled next to me. It took me a moment to remember what had led to this. Ah, yes. Ryne insisting Kerrick was gone. The suffocating pain returned, pressing my chest as if I lay under the Nine Mountains. Groaning, I rolled away.
Ryne pushed up to one elbow. “Avry, are you—”
“Don’t ask. Ever.” I grabbed my boots and left.
After checking on my patients, I searched for Loren. He sat with the group around Ryne. They’d probably been discussing military tactics, but I didn’t care. I caught Loren’s attention and gestured for him to join me. He nodded and slipped away.
His face tight with concern, Loren approached me as if I’d attack him. I would have laughed if the circumstances had been different.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
“Do you still have the map with the search areas marked on it?”
“Yes. Why?” He shifted, wary again.
“I need it.”
“But Ryne—”
“I don’t care what he said. I’m not giving up until I have proof. Can you get it for me, please?”
His shoulders drooped, but he shuffled off to fetch it. I consulted the Lily map and located the cluster the Death Lily had pointed out last night.
Loren returned with the map and Ryne.
I glared at Loren before snatching the map. Ignoring Ryne, I scanned the search grids.
“Avry, you’re needed here,” Ryne said.
“No, I’m not. My patients are doing fine.”
“What if more casualties arrive?”
“I’ll be back by nightfall.” I folded the maps and tucked them under my arm.
Ryne trailed me to my cavern and watched as I organized my pack, removing Kerrick’s boots. Debating about my cloak, I left it behind and strode for the cave’s exit.
“I can order you to stay here,” Ryne said, hurrying to catch up.
“You can.” I kept moving.
He huffed. “I can order the guards to stop you.”
“You can.”
By this time Loren, Quain, and Flea had joined Ryne.
“Avry, you’re not going to find Kerrick. He’s gone,” Ryne said.
I stopped and turned. Suppressing the desire to punch Ryne in the mouth, I asked, “Who said I was going to search for Kerrick?”
They all blinked at me in surprise.
“You need more toxin sacks, right?” I asked. “Or did Wynn lie about that, too?”
“We do need more, but—”
“So what’s the problem? I’m going out to collect them. Unless you know someone else who can harvest them from the Death Lilys?” I waited.
“Uh...” Ryne rubbed a hand over the stubble on his cheeks. “All right, you can go, as long as you take the monkeys with you.”
“I’m going, too,” Flea said, shooting us all a stern look that dared us to argue with him. At least he had more color in his face today.
“Fine. But hurry up, we’re burning daylight.”
They scrambled to get their weapons and packs.
Ryne stared at me. “Don’t go too far. There are still enemy patrols to the south and west.”
“And we can easily avoid them. They all sound like a herd of drunken deer.”
“But for how long? Wynn is working for Cellina now. She learned how to be quiet in the woods and it won’t be long before she’s teaching Cellina’s soldiers.”
Good point. And she’d learned that skill from me. Another ramification of her betrayal. However... “It’s only been a couple days.”