“No. I haven’t got anything.” She leans against my arm and closes her eyes. “There’s so much I wanted to do and I’m failing at all of it. All my mom wanted was for me to be happy. All my dad wanted was to watch me graduate. They would have hated that I dropped out of school and gave up on my dreams. I’m failing them. There’s just so much and I can’t bear it.”
I pull her on my lap so she’s facing me. She chuffs out a little laugh and rests her forehead against mine. I remember doing this to her when I was the one having trouble holding it together. She helped me pull through that and I’ll help her get through this. Whatever she needs me to do.
“You’re not alone, Em. I’m here. You’re trying to do it all by yourself but that’s too much for anyone. We all need someone strong enough to hold us up when things get too heavy. Someone to be our anchor.”
“Ever since my parents died, I haven’t had an anchor. I’m just adrift. And when I fall, there's no one there to catch me. It's terrifying. There’s so much and I just can’t handle it all. All the worrying. Sometimes I think hitting rock bottom might be a relief.”
“Then give some of it to me. Let me bear it for you. I'm strong enough. I will be your anchor. And I will never let you down.”
There have only been a few times in my life when I’ve truly felt lucky. When my mom beat cancer the first time, when I found out that Finn survived the IED blast that almost took his leg and when Eli gave me a job so I could feel useful again. Those were times when I finally felt like someone upstairs was looking out for our family. Or at least not kicking us when we were down anymore.
But as much as I love my family and my career, they don’t take away the loneliness I’ve felt all my life.
I look down at Emma, her eyes soft and languid as she leans against me. Maybe I’ve found what I need. What I need but didn’t even know to look for.
“Come on, buttercup.”
She doesn’t resist when I lift her and carry her down the hall. She’s so slim, almost too slim in my arms. It makes her seem even more fragile. The most fierce, protective feeling flows through me. I want to put her to bed and watch over her while she sleeps. Protect her and keep her safe from all the things that scare her.
Then she turns her head and takes the lobe of my ear between her teeth and that feeling morphs, shifting into the desire to take her. To keep her safe by keeping her under me.
We’re on a collision course for the bedroom and I’m not stopping until I have her again.
She clings to me with her legs wrapped around my waist and her arms around my neck. Soft, fluttery kisses dance along my neck and then her hands are in my hair. She seems to particularly like gripping the thick strands at the base of my neck. Her breasts press against my chest teasing me with the stiff tips of her nipples. I can’t wait to have the tight points on my tongue.
I push open my bedroom door and we tumble on the bed, a tangle of arms and legs. She rolls over and climbs on top of me, running her hands over my chest. I sit up briefly to tug her shirt off. Her plain white bra is revealed. It’s not meant to be sexy, just white cotton with no lace or details. With her flyaway cloud of buttery hair and the carnal look on her face, she looks like a naughty angel.
I dip my head and trace the plump flesh spilling over the cups before unhooking the clasp. She moans and her head falls back as I peel it down her arms, exposing miles of creamy skin. I breath deep, nuzzling against her throat. Being with her like this, touching her, tasting her, it's just as good as the first time. If I’m honest with myself, I can admit that I can’t imagine it ever getting old.
I tug at the waistband of her jeans and she allows me to work them down her hips. While I strip out of my own clothes, she steps out of the little pink panties she’s wearing. This time when she straddles me, there’s nothing between us but skin.
I bite her on the neck and she cries out, the sound echoing in my ears. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down but the smell of her arousal curls through me, driving me higher. Her scent is intoxicating, warm and rich like vanilla.
“You are so beautiful. You stagger me.” I take one of her hands and press it between my legs. There’s nothing as arousing as the wonder and erotic curiosity in her big gray eyes as my cock juts into her hand. She caresses it lightly, learning the contours of its length. Then she grips it firmly between her fingers and squeezes. I groan as my cock jumps in her hand.
“You did that to me.” I pull her down to the bed and run my tongue over the smooth skin of her stomach. She smells like spice and sin and tastes even better. I look up over the alluring curves of her body and watch as she arches into my touch. Talk about a hell of a view. With her neck bowed and her long hair curling against the creamy sheets she’s like a siren in my arms, all fire and flame. I want more than just to have her for a tumble. I want to possess her. I want everything she has to give.
I slide my hands under her hips delighting in the way the soft flesh fills my hands. I squeeze the full globes of her ass, rewarded when she moans and tries to inch away from me. I swat the side of her thigh lightly. The look of shock on her face makes me laugh despite how turned on I am. My innocent little angel will be thoroughly shocked in every way possible if she keeps hanging out with me.
The pang that hits me in the chest reminds me of just how badly I want that, too.