“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re on edge.”
“I’m not on edge.”
Okay, I might be on edge.
I took a phone call from my Aunt Steph right before I stepped into the studio, and it’s knocked me sideways. She called to let me know that Dex signed with a new band. And that band is based in LA. He moved here a few days ago.
To say I feel on edge is putting it mildly.
Dex being in New York and me here in LA was working just fine for me. Thousands of miles apart with no chance I could run into him helped keep the gut-wrenching, heart-shredding pain I’ve felt since I caught him with Chad at bay.
But now knowing that Dex is here in LA has brought that all back in full force.
I’m glad Aunt Steph told me. I mean, if I ran into him, unprepared, that would be a killer. But I just wish he wasn’t here.
I held it together while Aunt Steph told me. She doesn’t know the reason behind Dex and I not speaking.
Dex hasn’t told her, and I can’t bring myself to do it. She respects our wishes and doesn’t push, but I know it hurts her that Dex and I don’t communicate anymore, which is not for his lack of trying.
I know she thinks if she knew what the problem was, then she could fix us. But she can’t.
There is no fixing things between Dex and me. It was broken the moment he started screwing my boyfriend.
I feel the familiar burn in my chest. Bringing a hand up, I rub at the burn.
“You are on edge, Lyla,” Zane says, unconvinced. “If it’s personal and you don’t want to share, fine. I get it. But we’re on precious studio time right now, so you need to leave your personal life at the door before you step in here.” He points to the exit. “And you find a way to channel those pent-up emotions into the song, and you sing it as good as I know you’re capable of.”
He’s right. Business and personal should never mix.
I’m tougher than this.
Sure, I have a Texas-sized lump in my throat, and I’m aching with the pins and needles of pain, knowing Dex is so close-by.
But I’m strong. I don’t even cry anymore. Haven’t for ten months.
I think my tear ducts dried up when I cried a river over Dex and Chad.
I lock my gaze with Zane, and with determination in my voice, I say, “You’re right. I’ll get it perfect on the next run.”
He stares at me for a long moment and then something softens in his gaze. “Do you need to take a quick break before we continue?”
His kindness throws me off my strength kilter for a second.I lift my chin and suck it up. “No, I’m good now.”
“Okay.” He claps his hands together. “Let’s get this track down!” Zane moves away from the microphone and pats Gray, our sound engineer, on the shoulder.
I give a quick look to Cale, Sonny, and Van, who are sitting in the studio with Zane. They put on the music for the track we laid down yesterday. For this song, Zane wanted the music and vocals recorded separately—hence, why I’m in here, singing, on my own.
Cale is our bass player, and I’ve known him forever. Cale, Dex, and I grew up together. The three of us put Vintage together. Cale is my best friend, the only guy I trust, and I know he has my back because he’s proven it to me on more than one occasion.
Sonny is our drummer. He joined the band when we first started. We put up fliers for auditions, and he was the only one who turned up. Thankfully for us, he rocked. He’s a demon on the drums. I’ve never heard anything like him.
Van hasn’t been with us long. He joined on as lead guitar when Dex left—well, when I say left…
“Dex stays. I go.” I stiffen my back with my eyes lifted but not on Dex.
I can’t bring myself to look directly at him. If I do, I’m afraid my resolve will slip. The loss of him in my life will break through, and I will crumble.
Dex is the sun, and I can’t look directly into his burning gaze.
Cale gets up from his seat and walks over to me. He stands beside me and takes hold of my hand. I have to bite back the tears I can feel burning up my throat. A few seconds later, Sonny takes stance beside me, dropping his arm around my shoulder.
Dex gets to his feet. “Take care of her, boys. And Ly…”
I know his eyes are on me. I can feel his gaze burning a hole in me.
“I know this stands for shit, and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am.”
I hear his voice break, and I bite my lip.
“Love you, Ly. Always have, always will. And I’ll always be your big brother—whether you want me or not.”
I haven’t seen Dex since.
Cale catches my eye, and he mouths, You okay?
Fine, I mouth back before giving him my best smile.
His eyes narrow on me. He’s unconvinced. I look away.
Cale knows me better than anyone, and he knows when I’m not okay. I’m just not looking forward to telling him that Dex is here in LA. He won’t take it well.
I’m just glad that we’re getting out of here in a week to go on tour.
Gray’s voice comes into my ear this time. “When you’re ready, Lyla, we’ll start.”
I readjust my headphones, take a deep breath, and shake out my hands. “I’m ready.”
I step up to the mic, my lips hovering over the warm cushion. Shutting my eyes, I do what Zane said. I draw up all my emotions, the ones that are bothering the crap out of me today, and I channel them into my song.