I nodded my head and looked at my feet, “Your family misses you.”
“Do you?”
“Of course I do Chase.” How could he think I didn't?
“Harper I've given you more than enough time. I can't stand to stay away from you anymore, I need to know who you choose.”
“You're really going to do this now? Bree could be listening from the front door!”
“Yes, now. I need to know.”
“Chase how can you even ask me to choose between you two?” I hissed through my teeth and met his glare, “You left me, like you always do. You expected me to think you still wanted me after you've completely avoided me for a month?”
He threw his arms out, “I was giving you time! You asked me to give you time!”
“I didn't want you to avoid me like the plague, I wanted you to fight for me. To show me that you loved me like you said you did.”
“I do love you Harper, and that's why I gave you that time to think about things without me interfering.”
I took a step back and he matched it, after a few silent moments I finally answered him, “I'm sorry Chase, but I can't.”
“No. No, no n–”
“I can't be with you. I love Brandon, I'm sorry.” I whispered.
“Baby don't say that. I will fight for you, I will. Please just give us a shot.”
“A part of me will probably always love you too, but I can't take chances with you Chase. You'll leave me one day, and it will kill me when you do.”
“Wha– No! I wouldn't, I swear I wouldn't.” He reached for me then and I let him hold me.
“You can't stay with any one girl, that's just how you are. And that's fine Chase, it's fine. You're with different girls every night, but when I think about love I think about forever. You can't give me that, so I'm not going to hurt myself by only having you for a short time.”
He lifted my face and stared into my eyes, his were filled with unshed tears and the sight of it almost knocked me off my feet, “I haven't been with anyone but you since you started dating Brandon. I knew then there would never be anyone else like you, and I wasn't going to waste time being with someone else.”
I wanted to believe it, and truthfully I did. He was never with girls anymore, but that didn't change anything. Chase had left me again. No matter what he said, he would always leave me. I gently kissed the corner of his mouth and stepped out of his arms, “I love you Chase.”
“Baby please, don't do this!”
“I have to, I'm sorry.”
He held onto my hand, “Why? Why can't you be with me?”
I didn't answer. I'd already told him everything there was to know about why I couldn't let myself be hurt by him.
“Are you sleeping with him too, Harper?”
“Why does that matter?”
“Please,” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “just tell me if you are sleeping with him.”
I wanted to tell him it wasn't his business, but of course that didn't come out, “I've only been with you.” He let go of my hand then and I made it half way up the drive before it hit me. Oh. My. Word. My eyes went wide and I sucked in a startled gasp. Oh God, oh no.
“What? What's wrong?”
“I have to go.” I almost shouted as I ran for the house.
This couldn't be happening. I took the stairs two at a time and rushed into Bree's room searching frantically for my phone. I ignored the text from Brandon and pulled up the calendar. She hadn't been lying, I was supposed to start in a week and a half. I flipped back to last month and saw I never put in when I'd started, because I hadn't. There on the calendar were the ovulation days, and smack dab in the middle were the two days I'd been with Chase. I shut off my phone and cursed when Bree came into the room.
“Are you okay? What did he say to you? I swear he's such an ass!”
“No-nothing. It's not him, I just feel kind of dizzy again.”
“Well what did he want, he left after you came flying in here like a bat outta hell.”
Think Harper, think. “Um, he was just...asking about a tattoo Brandon wants.”
She stood there staring at me for a minute, she didn't believe me and I didn't blame her. “Is there anything I can get you?”
“I just need to go to sleep.” And freak out for a while without your knowing eyes on me.
We decided not to go back to the dorm tonight, and got ready for bed there. I buried my face in the pillow and chanted over and over again that I was wrong, this wasn't happening, it was just a dream.
Waking up the next morning, I jumped out of bed and hummed to myself while I was in the shower. I had just been stressing last night, and forgetting about my period from the previous month. I would have freaked out when I originally missed it, and I hadn't so I was just making it seem like I could be – nope not even gonna say the word. Bree said she was going to start breakfast, and after I got dressed I skipped down to meet her.
“You look like you feel better.” She grinned while she poured the egg yolks into the skillet.
“I do! I don't know what was wrong with me last night. Probably just too much junk food.”
She grunted, “That's an understatement. I've never seen you eat that much.”
I laughed but stopped abruptly. What in the world? “What is that smell?”