Grant held up his thermos of coffee. “I’m ready to go find Kiro. I’ll even drive us to the airport.”
Mase’s heavy footsteps broke into my thoughts and I turned to see him walking toward us. “Is this a damn search party?” Mase grumbled, dropping his bag at his feet and looking from me to Grant.
“Looks that way,” Grant said.
“I, uh . . .” was all I could think of to say. I still hadn’t figured this out.
“Go get you some of that coffee I smell, Sis; you need it to make coherent sentences. I’ll deal with this,” Mase said.
I didn’t want to leave Grant alone with him but, honestly, I didn’t know what else to do.
So I went to get the coffee.
Grant
“Explain this,” Mase said, standing with his feet apart and his arms crossed over his chest. He was Harlow’s older brother and possibly the only person who had ever stepped into the father figure role in her life. I respected that.
“I want to go with her. I have a lot of shit to make up for. I’m starting now.”
Mase frowned and continued to stare at me. “What the hell does that mean? Last I heard you were fucking Nan. What do you have to do with Harlow?”
She hadn’t told him anything. I wondered if she had done that to protect me. “I was scared of having feelings for someone. Harlow stirred things in me I wasn’t familiar with and it made me run. I’ve decided I don’t want to run.”
Mase took a step toward me. “You need to be real damn sure of that. ’Cause she likes you more than she wants to and I don’t trust you. Not at all. If you want to go help find our sorry-ass father then fine, but I’m going, too.”
I preferred to have her alone but this was okay. At least I was near her. I was tired of not being near her and watching her from afar.
“Understood,” I replied.
Harlow walked back into the foyer carrying two mugs of coffee. “Here,” she said, handing one to Mase.
“Thanks. He’s going with us. He likes looking at you or some sappy shit like that.”
Harlow’s eyes went wide and I bit back a smile. That wasn’t exactly what I’d said but the look on Harlow’s face was perfect.
“Oh” was all she said.
Mase picked up his bag and then looked at Harlow. “Where’s your bag?”
“I left it in the kitchen. Let me get it.”
“I’ll get it,” I said, heading to the kitchen before she could finish her sentence. If I wanted to gain her trust back and even slightly crack that wall she had up around herself I had to do anything I could to let her know I was serious.
“I’m confused,” I heard Harlow whisper as I left the room. I just smiled. Good. Confused was a good thing.
A Louis Vuitton duffel bag was sitting on the floor of the kitchen. I went and picked it up. The bag was worn out. I had no doubt this had been a gift from Kiro and she’d carried it for years. This wasn’t something that Harlow would buy for herself.
I brought it back to the door and then opened the door. “Time to go,” I said to both of them, still holding her bag. She glanced down at it and then back at me.
Mase made an amused sound in his throat and rolled his eyes at me as he walked out the door. Harlow followed him but stopped as she got close to me.
“Thank you,” she said simply, then went outside.
This was going to be good for us.
•
Mase climbed into the front seat and I doubted it hadn’t been on purpose. He didn’t want me close to Harlow. He was going to make this hard on me. Fine. I could handle it.
“You good back there?” I asked Harlow, looking back to make sure she had enough leg room.
“Yes, thank you,” she replied as a blush touched her cheeks. Damn, she was beautiful.
I turned back around and cranked the truck. “Rush said this was normal for Kiro. Is there a process on how to find him?” I asked, trying to make conversation.
“Yeah. Harlow calls him. He finally answers and she goes to get him. She’s the only one he listens to,” Mase replied.
I didn’t like the idea of this all falling on Harlow’s shoulders. The man had three grown kids. Why did everything have to be Harlow’s responsibility?
“You can’t call him and get him?” I asked, unable to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
“Dear ol’ Dad has a favorite. He only listens to her.”
“That’s not true. You have your mother and you don’t really need him. You have a good life. Then there’s Nan, and she doesn’t make it easy on him. I’m just . . . I’m just the one that . . .”
“You’re just the special one. He loved your mother. She was his world and when she died you became his world. That’s just the way it is, and I’m damn happy he gives a shit when it comes to you,” Mase told her.
Harlow didn’t say anything. She stayed quiet. I wanted to ask her more. I wanted to know how she was feeling and if she was worried. But Mase was sitting beside me, and now wasn’t a good time.
“I need food. That jet better be stocked,” Mase grumbled.
“It always is,” Harlow replied.
This wasn’t the first time I had been on Slacker Demon’s jet but it was strange getting on it with Kiro’s kids. It had always been with Rush. These two had a dynamic that I’d never witnessed before. Until Mase showed up in Rosemary I wasn’t even aware they were close. I thought Kiro’s elusive son stayed away from that whole world.
“Have you two always been close?” I asked.
“Yes,” they both said.
“Grandmama always took me to stay at the ranch with Mase and his parents when I was a kid.”
“Parents?” I asked, because that didn’t make sense since his father was Kiro.
“My stepdad and my mom. He’s more like my father than my own father,” Mase said with his head resting on the seat and his eyes closed.
I hadn’t realized that. Interesting.
“Harlow’s visits were always something I looked forward to. I thought having a sibling was so cool. Especially one as proper and sweet as Harlow. Getting her all muddy and talking her into riding a horse or feeding the cows was always entertaining.”
Harlow let out a small laugh from the backseat.
Maybe having Mase around wasn’t so bad. At least I’d get a chance to know her better.
Harlow
As soon as we got on the jet, Mase ate a bowl of oatmeal and went to bed. He was not a morning person. I sat down on the leather sofa beside the window so I could look out while I thought about where Dad could have gone instead of the fact that Grant was here. With me.
I didn’t turn to see what he was doing or where he was going to sit down. I wasn’t sure what to say to him now that we were alone. I also hated that my heart sped up when he smiled at me.
His warm body sank down beside me close enough that his arm was brushing against mine. “Hey,” he said simply.
Ignoring him was impossible and it was rude. I wasn’t rude. “Hey,” I replied, glancing over at him then back out the window.
“You worried about your dad?” he asked.
Not really. This was common. “No. Just frustrated that he never seems to grow up.”
“You not gonna look at me?”
I didn’t want to. He made me forget that he was dangerous. “Probably not,” I replied honestly.
Grant chuckled. “That’s a shame. I like looking into those eyes of yours.”
I closed my eyes and swore silently. Why, Grant? Why are you doing this to me? It isn’t fair.
“Are you going to hate me forever?” he asked.
I didn’t hate him. That wasn’t what this was about. Did he not get that? He had laid the terms down. I was just protecting myself from him.
“I don’t hate you. I just know where I stand with you and I’m being careful not to think too much about it, or you, for that matter.”
He didn’t say anything. Good. I’d shut him up. Maybe he would move and I wouldn’t have to keep smelling him. All warm and delicious. I knew how that skin felt against mine and I did not need reminders.
“I made a mistake, Harlow. I was scared and I fucked up.”
I finally turned to look at him. We’d already had this discussion. I didn’t want to have it again. “I know. You told me already. I get it.” I started to turn away again but Grant grabbed my chin and gently turned my face back to his.
“No. We haven’t talked about this. I told you bullshit that isn’t true. I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship. That was a lie. I was fucking terrified of loving someone so much and then losing her. But I’m not anymore. I can’t keep doing this to myself.”
I didn’t reply because I had no idea what he was talking about.
“I want you. I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. When I was buried inside of you I knew then I was sunk. Those pretty hazel eyes and angelic smile had started digging inside me and making themselves at home in my heart. But that night . . . you claimed me, and I can’t shake it. I can’t forget it.”
Oh. I stared up at him as his words sank in. Did this mean he wanted this with me? Or was he just saying this because he wanted to have sex again?
He lowered his head until his lips were barely brushing my ear. “You’re all I want. Forgive me for running? Please.”
I moved away from him, putting some space there between us. “Don’t. I’m not ready to just forget that you slept with Nan or that you didn’t call me for two months.”
Grant frowned and ran his hand through his long hair, making it even more tousled looking. “I did call. Ask Dean. He’ll tell you. I don’t know why you didn’t get calls to your phone but I was calling the hell out of it. I thought you had found out about my drunk screw-up with Nan and were done with me. Your dad threatened to call the cops if I showed up at your house. I started drinking a lot to forget you, and yeah, Nan happened to be there.”
Had he really tried to call me? Why would Dad keep me from him? Unless he knew about Nan and Grant. That would be a reason for Dad to threaten Grant. Was he telling the truth?
“I want to be near you. When I am, everything else fades away and I can’t concentrate on anything but you. That’s what scared me, but I’ve decided I was stupid to be scared of that. It’s special. You’re special.”
My grandmama would tell me to ignore the sweet talk and walk away. But then my grandmama had never laid eyes on Grant Carter. He was too appealing for words. I missed him. This. Being with him. I missed it. He had shown me how to enjoy life, if only for two weeks. I had felt like I was finally living when I was with him.
“I don’t think I can trust my good sense with you,” I told him honestly.
“You’ll find out you can trust me. I’m not a bad guy. Deep down you know that. I just made a very bad decision.”
Taking chances had never been my thing. I wasn’t a risk taker. I was careful. I didn’t get hurt. I protected myself. I had walls. Grant had made it past my walls once. Letting him in again was asking a lot.
He moved over to me and put his head on my shoulder. “I’m not above begging,” he said.
I shivered from the tingle of his breath against my skin. This was a bad idea. Grant was good at sweet-talking. With his looks and his mouth he could talk a girl into anything. If I let myself care about him any more it would only end in heartache.
“Don’t beg. Just give me some space. I need to think,” I replied, pressing myself further away from him. The fact that I wanted to crawl into his lap and wrap myself around him was not good. I used to be stronger than this. He talked about me making him weak; if he only knew how weak he made me.
Grant gave me this sad look that only made his face more appealing. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “Don’t. You’ve been sleeping with Nan. I heard you. Do you have any idea what that feels like? To know that the loud screams that kept you up at night were actually images of someone-—” I stopped myself. I was going to say too much.