Locking the door behind me, I place Alessandro’s car keys in the dish on the wooden table by the entrance and go to my bedroom. Elly wanted to come with me but I told her to stay behind and hang out with her friends. She was probably worried that I would run into Ronan and Rachel.
I push the thought of them together in bed out of my mind as quickly as it comes. Definitely not going there. Once I’m inside my room, I recline my back against the door and close my eyes, losing myself in the silence and its accompanying calm.
“You win.”
I open my eyes swiftly and look in the direction of his voice. As my sight grows accustomed to the dark, I recognize Ronan’s form sitting in the accent chair by the window, the moonlight illuminating his face. Unable to speak, I watch as he rises and strolls toward me.
“Let’s hear what you have to say.”
I remain silent, incapable of uttering a coherent thought.
“What happened?” he asks, sarcasm dripping from his words. “You were so eager to explain things earlier. Well, now’s your chance.”
“No …” I protest weakly. I clear my voice and summon all the strength that I possess to deny him and do the right thing. “There’s no point now. Go back to Rachel.”
“Rachel’s gone—it’s over between us. It’s just you and me. Are you happy now?”
When he’s standing an inch away from me, it takes every ounce of willpower I own not to fall down to his feet asking him to forgive me. “I’m not happy, Ronan. How could I be after everything that I’ve done?”
“I see.” He chuckles, running a hand through his hair. “So this is your act now? Save it for another unsuspecting bastard, Blaire. You don’t need to put on a show for me. I’ve already told you that you won. I’m here, yeah?”
My heart is ready to burst with combating emotions—hope, fear, sorrow, and love blend as one. But the loudest is my love for the man who I tried unsuccessfully to forget. And it’s that fierce love that propels me to move forward and reach for him. Gone is the fear that someday he will hurt me or leave me. Gone are the thoughts that our love won’t be enough. All that matters is to finally hold him in my arms without anyone else between us.
“It’s not an act, Ronan.”
“I told you to save it.” He raises a staying hand. “I see the way that you look at me … I’m here to fuck you and get it over with.”
“You don’t mean that.” I dare to get a little closer to him. Lifting a hand, I watch him suck in a deep breath as I caress the crests of his cheeks with the back of my hand, I allow myself to feel an emotion that I haven’t in a long time.
And it’s wonderful.
And it’s madness.
It’s the sweetest hope, and it unfurls with each beat of my heart spreading like a wildfire throughout me. “Why are you really here, Ronan?”
His gaze penetrates mine, and I get lost in a sea of amber. “Why am I here?” he repeats forcefully. “Because I can’t fucking pretend when I’m around you. How can I when you’re embedded in me—in my damn soul. I’m here because I can’t help it. I need you even when you tear me apart.” Even in the darkness, his eyes burn me to ashes while his words give me life.
Ronan cups my face with both of his hands, holding me his slave, his touch in turns unforgiving and possessive. “I told myself that I should walk away, that I should forget you, that you’re not worth it.”
“And did it work?” I ask softly.
“No. I’m here, after all. Wanting you more than ever and it’s fucking killing me.” He tightens his grip. “I hate you for making me love you, and I hate myself because I can’t stop.”