AS WE LOOK AT EACH OTHER silently, sadness fills me from within, sorrow gripping my heart with its sharp nails. A gut feeling tells me that this is the last time we’ll see one another, and I’m not ready for that.
A knot forms in my stomach. “So is this good-bye?”
He stares at me and, without a word, I already know the answer. I can see it in his eyes.
Ronan
“WHERE ARE YOU GOING, BABY?”
I’m looking for my underwear when I hear Ana speak. I turn to look at her, half naked on her bed. She’s all hair, perky tits, and no brains. “I gotta go. My boss’ assistant just called to let me know that I need to pick him up in Midtown in an hour. I’ll call you, ‘kay?” As I stare at Ana with her blue eyes and swollen lips from having sucked my dick, I hate myself even more because I can’t stop myself from wishing she were Blaire.
“But why? You told me you were free for the day.”
I hate this shit. I run my fingers through my hair. “Yeah, sorry about that, but the other driver had a family emergency.”
She huffs, crossing her arms. “There’s always an excuse with you, Ronan.”
“Ana, we spoke about this. I thought we were clear. We’re having fun.”
“You’re still not over that girl I saw you with at that bar, are you?” She frowns. “The one who looked like she thought she was above us all.”
“Let it go, Ana,” I warn her.
“I knew you two didn’t belong together the moment I saw her. You’re too good for a bitch like that.”
I walk toward the bed, lean down and kiss her aggressively, my mouth fucking hers. Ana responds instantly, deepening the kiss, and for a moment I forget that this woman who looks exactly like Blaire isn’t her. I kiss her as though she’s the woman who is everything and nothing to me—the woman I can’t forget.
With the kiss coming to an end, I brush her black hair out of the way and then grab her chin between my fingers, lifting it and forcing her to look at me. I know my hold is growing painful because she winces in pain.
“If you ever speak of her like that again, I won’t be responsible for my actions. Good-bye, Ana.” I let go of her face and watch her fall backward on the bed.
“Wait, Ronan, don’t go! I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean…”
I finish getting dressed in my usual black suit and walk out of her bedroom, never looking back. Riding the elevator, I lean on the wall and close my eyes momentarily, the anger and resentment I feel leaving me emotionally exhausted.
I knew you two didn’t belong together the moment I saw her.
Ana’s words haunt me. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I was just too blind to see it.
Or maybe I created someone in my head that never existed in the first place.
I wait for Lawrence to get in the Rolls Royce before I close the door behind me and make my way to the driver’s seat.
“Where would you like to go, sir? Back to the office?” I ask, staring at him in the rearview mirror.
He answers without raising his gaze, his eyes focused on a file that’s opened on his lap. “Actually, no. Take me to East 34th Street.”
Shock courses through me as my mind registers his words. I clear my throat before I repeat the address, as if by doing so it will become a mistake. I’m sure I’ve heard him wrong. It can’t be.
Lawrence looks up and our eyes connect. “Yes, that’s correct.”
Stunned, I nod quietly as I tighten my hold on the steering wheel and watch my knuckles turn white. “You got it, sir.”
As I’m driving away from the building where Lawrence spent most of the late afternoon in a meeting, I’m overpowered by such dread that it’s hard to focus on the road. My chest feels empty but heavy all at once, making it hard to breathe.