I smile up at the frowning attendant and beckon her nearer. She’s probably late twenties. European. She swipes her eyes over me, and a great deal of her worried aura lightens, suddenly forgotten. She leans down and I sit up taller to get closer as I whisper.
“Between us,” I say, “I think my mate’s lady is up the duff, if you know what I mean.”
Her eyes widen and she pats her stomach with question.
I nod. Grin. “They haven’t announced it yet, but I’m fairly certain. She’s not been herself for a bit, but it’s nothing to worry about, luv. She’ll be fine.”
I wink for good measure. Then wet my lips. Her aura pops red, and my body reacts without permission.
No, I remind myself, feeling guilty.
“Well, all right then,” the flight attendant says, brushing a hand down my shoulder and arm. My body tightens and I’m holding my breath. “If you need anything, let me know.” She dips closer. “Anything at all.”
Go away, go away, go away, and for the love of all things holy don’t touch me again.
I give her a nod and she finally turns to go up the aisle. A quick glance to the side finds Kope and Zania both glaring at me. I suppose they didn’t care for the pregnancy bit, but oh well. They should be grateful. I exhale and close my eyes.
At some point Zania nods off, still bent over, and her head ends up on Kope’s thigh. Hahahaha, the bloke is frozen as stone, trying not to be affected. I take advantage of the moment of peace and move to the empty row behind us. I lean my head against the window and soon fall asleep.
I’m woken sometime later from a vivid dream where I’m obliterating Anna’s innocence. It’s quite a nice dream, but I’d rather not be having it in public. The sounds of Zania’s crying and Kope’s gentle admonishments usher me back to reality with an unwelcome jolt. The kind flight attendant has covered me in a blanket while I slept. I take the blue bundle and cram it over my misbehaving lap, thinking of things that are not soft and warm. Things that do not moan and arch and bend.
It doesn’t help.
I press my fingers over my forehead as hard as I can. My knee bounces faster. I inhale a filling breath and pull out my mobile, opening the picture of me with Anna. I stare at it until the pilot tells the flight attendants to prepare for landing. Then, with a heavy heart, I delete the picture.
I can’t wait to land. I want to see Anna embrace Zania—for her to fill that broken girl with the same positive energy she fills me with—energy that makes one believe they can fight both the demons inside themselves and the ones outside as well. Energy that makes one believe they can win.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Water and Wrath
“In the wreckage of a job well done I saw a place I’d never seen before, yeah,
And that moment I refused to close my eyes anymore.”
—“Worth Dying For” by Rise Against
From the frying pan into the fire, isn’t that how the saying goes? Almost immediately upon arriving in L.A. we got a call from Belial to leave the area. A group of Dukes were flying into LAX from Vegas with some women they met. Blake had the idea of heading for the marina and taking his boat out to his father’s private island, where we’d be safe from the mainland.
Brilliant.
Blake told us to think of this as a “mini vacay,” and after all we’d just been through in Syria, I wanted that far too much. Us blokes took the Jet Skis out, leaving the girls to chat on the island’s dock.
Thing is, it’s dangerous to relax and not give yourself an out. We know that, and yet we’d come to the one place with nowhere to hide. Just our sodding luck. Thankfully the messenger of Lucifer, Azael, is secretly in league with Belial. The dark spirit found us and warned us that the Dukes were on their way to the island.
Now, here we are. Kopano, Zania, and Blake are submersed under the boat dock. I am sitting on the edge with Anna, about to jump in. Why? Because we have to hide someplace where Father cannot detect Anna’s scent of innocence.
Underwater.
After all we’ve been through, you’d think I’d no longer get scared, but where Anna is concerned there is always room for fear. My protective instinct for her has only grown, and I can hardly keep a straight mind when she’s in danger.
I watch Anna as she stares down at the moving waters beneath us. Strands of hair around her face are wet from running around to prepare. She looks resigned to what’s coming. When she turns her face up to mine, her eyes widen to find me watching her so intensely.
I still haven’t told her how I feel—not in words. I’m cursing myself now for being too afraid, knowing how much it would mean to her. The Dukes are in hearing range by now. I can’t risk speaking, but I have to tell her. If we’re caught today, if anything happens to us, I will hate myself for not saying it. So, I give her the only thing I have. Silent words.
I raise a hand and make the combination “I” “L” “U” in sign language—I love you. She stares at my hand until her eyes water. She holds up her hand and mirrors mine, pressing her sign against mine, mouthing the words, I love you, too.
I vow we will make it out of this.
She reaches out for me and I pull her against me, feeling her arms wrap around my back. I hold her close, wishing this night would be over soon. I don’t know when the Dukes will arrive, or how long they will stay, but I know we’re in for a long evening.
Blake reaches up and grabs our ankles, telling us it’s time to get in. Anna and I both slide down, holding on to the planks, and she sucks in a loud breath of air as her body hits the water. The first bout of worry bombards me when I feel how the sea has chilled within the past hour since we were on Jet Skis. The water is always cold here, but Anna is so much smaller than me. She’ll freeze if we’re in too long, especially after the sun sets.