Oh, no. “Can’t you make some more?” she asked in a tiny voice, feeling so awful.
“Do you understand anything about making bread from scratch? What am I asking? Of course you don’t. Get out. Just get out. We can’t afford any more disasters this morning.”
Claire wanted to say something to make it better, but what was the point? All four of them stared at her as if she was the lowest form of life they’d ever seen. They wouldn’t care that she’d only been trying to help. That she hadn’t meant to run into the other guy. That it had only been an accident.
Not knowing what else to do, she turned and left.
It was after five when she arrived back at the house. Claire checked on Nicole, who was still sleeping, then went down to the kitchen and made coffee. The first pot smelled funny and tasted worse. She threw it out and started over.
The second batch was drinkable. She poured herself a cup and sank into a chair at the table.
How could her day have started so horribly? How could she have messed up so badly without even trying? It wasn’t fair. She wasn’t a bad person. Okay, yes, she lived a strange, twisted life that most people couldn’t relate to, but that didn’t change who she was on the inside.
But it seemed existing outside of her gilded cage was going to be harder than she’d first realized.
“I’m not giving up,” she said aloud. “I’m going to figure this out.”
She didn’t have much choice. If she couldn’t play the piano anymore, she was going to need to have a life without music.
No music. The thought of it made her sad. Music was everything to her. It was her reason for breathing.
“I’ll find another reason,” she told herself. “I have unexplored depths.” At least she hoped she did.
A little after six, she went looking for the toaster. There was plenty of bread in the freezer. She managed to burn the first three slices she put in before getting the adjustment right. She was digging around for a tray when the back door opened.
She straightened and saw Wyatt walking into the kitchen. Wyatt, who hated her nearly as much as Nicole. Wyatt, who’d made her hand tingle so strangely the previous day.
But before she could wonder what that all meant, she saw the pretty little girl who trailed behind him.
Wyatt set several grocery bags on the counter. “Something smells bad.”
“I burned some toast.” Claire couldn’t look away from the girl. “Your daughter?” she asked. Wyatt had a daughter? Which meant he had a wife.
The realization caused her to take a step back, although she couldn’t say why. Still, she wanted to meet the girl. Claire had always liked children and dreamed of a family of her own.
“This is Amy,” he said, moving his hands as he spoke. “Amy, this is Claire.” He used his fingers in an odd way. “Amy’s deaf.”
“Oh.” She looked at the child and noticed hearing aids in both ears.
She’d never known a deaf person before. No sound. What would that be like? Never to hear a Mozart concerto or a symphony? No melody or rhythm. Her whole body clenched at the thought.
“How horrible.”
Wyatt glared at her. “We don’t think so, but thanks for sharing your enlightened and sensitive opinion. When you see a one-legged guy walking down the street, do you kick it out from under him?”
She blushed and glanced at his daughter. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. I was thinking about music and how…” There was no recovery from this, she thought as guilt swamped her. “I didn’t mean anything bad.”
“People like you never do.”
He wouldn’t understand, mostly because he didn’t want to. He assumed the worst about her and she seemed to do nothing but prove his point.
He began taking groceries out of the bags. She thought about offering to help, but knew he would refuse. Instead, she retreated to the living room and wondered if she should simply hire a nurse for Nicole and escape back to New York. At least there she fit in.
She sank onto one of the sofas and did her best not to cry. Why was everything going so wrong? How could she make things better? Because as easy as escaping would be, she didn’t want to be a quitter. She’d never quit. Not once—no matter how hard things got.
But this situation was impossible.
Amy walked into the room. Claire started to apologize for what she’d said, only to realize the child probably hadn’t heard her. Which meant she would have to explain why she was apologizing, assuming she could even get her point across. She sat there, feeling both stupid and awkward, not sure which was worse.
Amy didn’t seem to pick up on any of that. Instead she walked over to a bookshelf in the corner and picked up a large picture book. She carried it back to the sofa and handed it to Claire.
“You want me to read to you?” Claire asked, looking at the book. “Aren’t you too old for this book?”
Amy waved her hands to get Claire’s attention, then touched her chin. She motioned to her lips, then her eyes.
“See you speak.”
The words were spoken slowly, with exaggerated pronunciation.
Claire’s eyes widened. “You can talk?”
Amy raised her right hand and waggled it sideways, then held her thumb and index finger an inch or so apart.
“A little,” Claire said, feeling triumphant. “You can speak a little.”
Amy nodded. “My school teaches me.”
“Your school is teaching you to talk?”
Amy nodded. She pointed to her mouth again. “Lips.”
“And read lips?”
More nodding. The girl smiled. She pointed at the book. Claire opened it. There was a girl holding a book. Amy pointed at the girl, then made a fist and rubbed her thumb across her cheek.
“Girl” Amy repeated the motion. “Girl.”
Understanding dawned. “I get it,” Claire told her. “This is the sign for girl?”
Amy grinned and pointed to the book. She held both her hands together, as if she was praying, then opened them.
Claire repeated the gesture. “The sign for book?”
Amy nodded.
Claire flipped the page. “This is so cool. What else can you teach me?”
WYATT WALKED into Nicole’s room with coffee and the bagels he’d brought.
“Hey, sleepy.”She opened her eyes and groaned. “Hey, yourself.”
“How do you feel?”
“How do I look?”
“Beautiful.”
She winced as she pushed into a sitting position, then leaned back against the pillows. “You are such a liar, but thank you for that. I feel awful. I have to tell you, the drugs in the hospital are much better than the stuff you get at the pharmacy. Is that coffee?”
“Yes, but I wasn’t sure if you were allowed any.”
“So you brought it to taunt me?” She reached for the mug. “I’m supposed to take it easy and eat what sounds good. Coffee sounds like a miracle, right now.”
He set the tray on the nightstand, then pulled up a chair. After she’d taken her first sip and sighed with pleasure, he asked, “You doing okay with Claire?”
Nicole rolled her eyes. “Do I have a choice? She’s staying away, which is my preference. Sid called my cell about a half hour ago.” She motioned to the small phone by the tray. “She went to the bakery this morning, apparently to help. He sent her away. Instead she managed to run into Phil and dump a five-pound bag of salt into a batch of bread dough. It’s totally ruined.”
“How did that happen?”
“I have no idea.”
“She didn’t do it on purpose, did she?”
Nicole glared at him. “Probably not, but don’t you dare take her side.”
“Not my plan.”
“Good, because I’m not sure I could handle that. She’s even more useless than I’d first thought. She actually asked me about a cleaning service for her clothes. Apparently a few things are wrinkled and she doesn’t know how to deal with that. We should all have such problems. I hate her.”
“You don’t hate her.”
“I know, but I wish she’d go away.”
So did Wyatt. As it was, he was keeping his distance. The last thing he needed was another raging fire keeping him up at night…in both senses of the word.
Why her? Why couldn’t he have chemistry with someone else? Someone normal? Someone like Nicole? His body sure had a sense of humor.
Nicole glanced at the clock. “Where’s Amy?”
“Downstairs with your sister.”
“Check her before you leave. Who knows what Claire might do to her.”
“I’ll make sure she’s in one piece.” He stood and crossed to the bed, then kissed Nicole on the top of the head. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.”
“I’ll be back soon.”
“Come right away if you see smoke rising in the sky.”
“Promise.”
He went downstairs. As he entered the living room, he heard laughter. Amy sat next to Claire, watching intently as Nicole’s sister carefully signed the story in the picture book on her lap. Her movements were studied, but she got all the words right. When his daughter signed the word good, Claire laughed again.
“You’re a good teacher,” she said slowly.
Amy signed, “Good student.”
Claire reached out and hugged her.
Amy went easily into her arms.
Wyatt was unimpressed. Claire might be able to fool a child, but he knew better. She wasn’t going to be able to suck him in so easily.
CHAPTER FOUR
THE FOLLOWING MORNING Claire waited until she was sure Wyatt wasn’t going to show up, then made breakfast herself and carried it upstairs. She found her sister awake, which was a surprise. Every time she’d checked on Nicole the previous day, she’d been asleep, or pretending to sleep.
“You’re still here, I see,” Nicole said by way of greeting.“Are you always this crabby in the morning, or is it me bringing out the worst in you?”
“You get all the credit.”
“Lucky me.”
She set the tray on the nightstand. Nicole looked over the simple meal.
“Thank you,” she said through obviously gritted teeth.
Claire was so proud, she could have floated. “The oatmeal is really good. I made it myself.”
“Two ingredients, including water. Very impressive.”
Claire refused to let her sister’s sarcasm spoil her happy mood. This was her first real breakfast and it had turned out with only one try. Yay, her. Today oatmeal, tomorrow, a sandwich!
Nicole reached for the bowl. “I thought maybe you were leaving.”
“No, sorry. I’m here until you’re back on your feet.” She thought about Jesse’s unexplained absence. “Unless you want me to call Jesse and ask her to come.”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
Nicole’s gaze turned icy. “Jesse is not welcome here.”
Okay, so there was a problem. Claire had already guessed as much. “When did you two stop speaking?”
“I’m not discussing this with you.”
“What did she do?”
“What part of my previous statement didn’t you understand? She’s a born liar and a cheat. She lied to you about me wanting you here and she—” Nicole dropped her spoon back into the bowl. “Just go.”
Claire assumed she meant from the bedroom rather than the house. Either way she stayed in place. “She’s just a kid.”
“She’s twenty-two and you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Claire wanted to understand the problem, but she had a feeling that pushing wasn’t going to help. “You need to eat something. You’ll get better faster if you do.”
“Motivation. That’s good.” She took a small taste of the oatmeal. “Brown sugar?”
“Uh-huh.”
Nicole ate a little more while Claire hovered in the doorway. She wanted to go sit down, but that felt too intrusive.
The whole situation was crazy, she told herself. Why did things have to be so awkward? Although she knew the answer, she wanted it to be different. She wanted them to be different.
“Why aren’t you on tour?” Nicole asked as she reached for her coffee. “Is that what you do with your day? Play piano for people? Won’t your adoring fans miss you?”
Claire stiffened. Without wanting to, she remembered her last performance. The heat of the lights, the pressure in her ears, the murmur of the crowd and most of all, the tightness in her chest.
She’d been unable to catch her breath, and had walked out on stage, feeling as if she was going to have a heart attack and die. She’d been unable to focus on her playing. There had only been the thundering of her heart and the knowledge that she would collapse at any second.
She’d played badly because of it, she thought, recalling the humiliation. While she might play the same music over and over again, she always remembered that for her audience, this was a special event. They’d taken time from their busy lives, bought a ticket and come to see her. She owed them her best. That night she’d failed. Then she’d collapsed and had to be helped off the stage.
Shame filled her. She’d failed publicly. She’d let the panic win. Worse, she didn’t know how to keep it from winning.
“I didn’t mean for the question to be so hard,” Nicole said.
“I’m taking a break,” she murmured.
Nicole’s cell phone rang. She reached for it. “Hey, Sid. What’s up?” She paused, then groaned. “You have to be kidding. No, no. I understand.” Her gaze settled on Claire. “No way. Are you serious? But do you remember—Fine. It’s your call. I’ll tell her.”