“I can remember sitting in the waiting room at the hospital feeling guilty because I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to survive or not.” She shuddered, trying to wipe away the guilt she still felt. “How horrible is that? Wishing my own mother dead.”
Gray’s arms tightened around her. “Not horrible. It’s human.”
“They found Pop’s phone number in her purse and called him. When he and Connor showed up, I bawled my eyes out on Pop’s shoulder. Connor took me to a hotel and stayed with me while Pop got Mom sorted out. He set her up in rehab and what else I’m not even sure. At the time I didn’t care. I was too relieved not to have had to deal with it myself. He and Connor took me back to Houston with them, told me I was part of their family. Pop gave me a stiff lecture about not enabling my mother and told me to wash my hands of her.”
She shifted against Gray, turning slightly so that her cheek rested on his shoulder. He looked down at her, his eyes soft with sympathy.
“Do you have any idea how relieving it was to have someone say it was okay to take myself out of my relationship with my mother? It sounds silly, but I needed someone to tell me it was okay, that I wasn’t a bad person.”
Gray nodded and touched a finger to her chin. “Most people wouldn’t have done all you did for her.”
“When Pop told me he wanted to adopt me…I can remember staring at him, so stunned. Then I burst into tears and cried a river. He thought he’d upset me, but it was the most wonderful thing anyone had ever done for me. For the first time, I felt like I truly belonged. He and Connor were my family. Here I was, twenty years old, and I felt like a child all over again.”
Gray kissed her forehead and touched his fingers to her cheek, running invisible lines from her cheekbone to her ear.
“So you’ve been with Pop ever since.”
She nodded slightly, not wanting to knock his hand from her face. “He moved me into one of his apartments, gave me a job at Malone and Sons, and gave me a stern lecture about ever allowing my mother back into my life.”
“But she’s calling you,” he said quietly.
She tensed, but he continued stroking her cheek, and she gradually relaxed. “Yes. She’s calling again. Same routine. She wants money. In her defense, I’ve always come through for her, even after Pop told me never to give her anything. He once said that if you give a dog a handout, they’ll never leave you alone. He was right. Only this time I refused to help her.”
She lowered her voice and looked away. He touched the cheek she now presented as she looked out toward the ocean. “She’s in trouble, and all I want is for her to go away. I’ve tried ignoring it. I haven’t told Pop about the phone calls, and if he knew, he’d be hurt and angry that I hadn’t told him. But I didn’t want to keep burdening him with my problems. He’s done enough for me. I knew it was time for me to draw my line in the sand. Only this time I think she really does need help.”
“You can’t fix her life,” Gray said gently. “Pop is right. If you keep bailing her out of trouble, she’ll never go away. And the thing is, she may never get her act together. Then where does that put you? Always in a position of being her crutch.”
She nodded. “I know. I keep telling myself that, but then I go back to the fact that she’s my mother. If you have no one else in the world, you’re supposed to at least have your mother, right?”
“You don’t have no one,” he pointed out. “You have Pop, Connor, Nathan, Micah…you have me.”
A warm glow lit and bloomed within her. It swelled in her chest, expanding outward until it encompassed her soul. He was right. She wasn’t alone.
She gazed at him, a sheen of tears blurring the lines of his face. She turned her body until she curled sideways in his lap then raised her hand to his face. “I should have told Pop about the calls. I realize that now. But some part of me is still afraid to rock the boat and cause any problems. I don’t want Pop to ever regret taking me in. He’s given so much to me.”
“Have you ever stopped to consider how much you’ve given him?” Gray asked.
She stared at him, perplexed. “No, I—”
“He adores you, Faith. Hell, they all do. Connor, Micah and Nathan. Don’t ever think you haven’t contributed to that relationship. You’re not some charity case. You’re as important to them as they are to you.”
“Know so much, do you?” she asked with a slight smile.
“It’s obvious. In the time I’ve been here, it’s been easy to see how much you mean to them. They’re all very protective of you.”
His words warmed her heart. “Thank you for saying that. I needed to hear it. I’ve been so stressed out over the phone calls and worrying over whether I made the right decision.”
He shushed her with his finger. “No more worrying. This week is for us. Besides, who knows? Maybe by the time we get back things will be resolved.”
His cryptic statement was meant to be reassuring, she was positive, and she allowed herself to grab hold of the confidence she heard in his voice.
“You make me forget my worries,” she confessed.
“Good. I want our time together to be without stress. I want to take away your unhappiness. I want you to shine. For me.”
She curled her hands around his shoulders and pressed her face into the curve of his neck. His pulse thudded against her forehead.
“Are you ready for me to take you inside?” he murmured.
Oh, but she loved the way he said that. She nodded.
He eased her off his lap and maneuvered his way out of the lounger. Then he bent and hoisted her into his arms. He carried her inside and walked to the bedroom. Once inside, he lowered her to the king-size bed. “I’m going to go take a shower,” he said. “I want you naked and in bed when I get back.”
Her stomach did a complete somersault as she saw the raw desire in his eyes. He stared at her for another long moment before he turned around and walked into the bathroom.
Gray turned the shower on and immediately unbuttoned his jeans. He was going to suffer a permanent cramp in his dick because he’d had a hard-on the entire evening, and his jeans had cut so tight across it that he’d existed in a state of pain.
As he pulled his jeans down, his erection sprang free, and he felt immediate relief. How on earth he was going to survive the night was beyond him. He sure as hell wasn’t going to bed with a hard-on the size of Texas.
When he stepped into the shower, he grasped his stiff cock in his hand and worked it up and down in an attempt to alleviate the ache. Warm water sluiced down his body as he worked the foreskin back and forth over the swollen head.
He closed his eyes and turned his face into the spray as he felt his balls gather and tighten. His orgasm rose in his groin. His grip tightened around his thick shaft, and he gave two more jerks.
A jet of semen erupted from the tip and was quickly washed away by the spray of water. He ducked his head and sucked in mouthfuls of air as his pulse pounded at his temple.
He continued to stroke his softening cock until finally the waves of pleasure subsided. He quickly soaped his body and rinsed off. Then he stepped out of the shower and reached for a towel. After he’d dried off, he pulled on a clean pair of boxers and walked back into the bedroom.
When he saw Faith lying on the bed, her hair spilled out over the pillow, just like in his fantasies, her naked body illuminated by the glow of the bedside lap, his cock stiffened all over again. He cursed under his breath. So much for his plan to give himself relief from the relentless ache she stirred within him.
He walked over to the bed and climbed in beside her. She looked at him, her beautiful eyes aglow with desire, but more than that, her gaze conveyed trust. He reached for her, pulling her into his arms. Then he reached down for the covers and tugged them over their bodies.
He knew she expected him to make love to her tonight, but he also knew how important it was not to rush into things. Tomorrow would be soon enough to begin their sexual relationship. Tonight was all about finding their comfort level and developing trust between them.
He felt like a goddamn hypocrite for placing so much importance on trust when he was deceiving her at every turn. But in this, their relationship, he would be nothing but honest. He had to hope that in the end it was enough.
He tucked her head beneath his chin and held her close, enjoying the feel of flesh on flesh. “Go to sleep,” he said softly. “We have all the time in the world.”
Her body trembled against his, and then he felt the tension leave her as her body melted into his. He kissed the top of her head then reached behind him to turn off the lamp.
CHAPTER 30
Gray opened his eyes to silky, blond hair tickling his nose. He blinked and pulled his head slightly away. Faith was securely snuggled into his chest, her head still tucked beneath his chin. Her hair was bunched up on the pillow next to his cheek, and he could smell the faint scent of the shampoo he’d used to wash her hair.
The room was still dark, and he raised his wrist to look at his watch. Not obscenely early. It should be getting light soon.
Careful not to wake her, he extricated himself from around her and eased out of bed. He needed to make a phone call, and this seemed a prime opportunity.
He picked up his jeans off the floor at the foot of the bed and dug in his pocket for his cell phone. Then he walked out of the bedroom. He opened his phone and punched in Mick’s number as he opened the French doors and stepped into the early morning air.
“Where the hell are you?” Mick demanded.
“Good morning to you too,” Gray said, irritated already by Mick’s tone.
“Good morning, my ass. You should be here, helping to catch Alex’s killer, not off fucking around with the girl.”
“Mick, don’t start,” Gray warned. “I called to see what the hell was going on. You may not like how we decided to do things, but that’s too damned bad. You’re reacting emotionally, and if you had your damn head on straight, you’d know I’m right.”
“We. Since when did this become we. I can’t figure out why you brought in Malone and his crew. His only concern will be for his daughter. He won’t give a fuck that Samuels killed my son.”
“Just like your only concern is for your own interest,” Gray said quietly. “Faith is an innocent victim, Mick. I won’t allow her to be used any more than she already has. If that pisses you off, too fucking bad.”
“I never imagined you’d sell out,” Mick said harshly. “I never thought you’d turn your back on Alex this way.”
“Damn it, Mick. Quit trying to yank my string. You’ve been doing this shit from the start, and I let you. I’m done allowing you to play the guilt card. If Samuels makes a move for Faith, Pop and the others will nail him. That should be all that concerns you. By the book. No legal loopholes for him to fall through.”
A long pause ensued, and the only sound was Mick’s harsh breathing. Finally Mick broke the silence. “If you won’t help me bring Alex’s killer down, I’ll do it myself. I’m not going to stand by and watch him get away. Not when we’re so damn close.”
“Mick, quit talking out your ass and calm down,” Gray said in exasperation. “Mick. Mick?”
Damn it, he’d hung up. Gray closed the phone and swore long and hard. Mick was losing it. He was too eaten up by grief and rage to think rationally. He needed to get his ass back to Dallas, but Gray knew there was no chance of that happening.
He opened his phone back up and punched in Micah’s number. He shook his head and tried to blow off his anger as he waited for Micah to pick up. For all Mick’s faults, Gray knew he was a good guy.
“Hey, man,” Gray said when Micah answered.
“Hey,” Micah returned.
“What’s the latest? Any word on Samuels?”
“No, nothing yet. Cops have got a double to stand in for Faith. She’s staying at Faith’s apartment and will be going in to the office like Faith does.”
Gray sighed. It was probably too soon, but the letter told him that Samuels was close. Even if he wasn’t yet in Houston, he soon would be.
More than ever, he was glad Faith was removed from the picture where he could keep her safe. He didn’t have a good feeling about any of it. Mick, Samuels or the mother. Faith stood to get hurt, if not physically, than certainly emotionally.
Again, he was hit square in the face with the reasoning behind Pop wanting to keep this from her. Though he’d vehemently disagreed, he wasn’t so sure now that Pop hadn’t been right.
“Look, buddy, I have to run. Things are a bit nutty around here. Nathan, Connor and I are keeping an eye out at the apartments. We have a few plants keeping watch, but we didn’t want to spook Samuels off and let him know we’re on to him. Faith’s double is due to leave her apartment in a few minutes, and it’s my turn to follow her to the office.”