I wanted to stare Kaidan down, but when he turned to face me I was distracted by the girth of body beneath his face. I eyed the layers of muscle in his arms, chest, and abs. He was ripped! Was he living at the gym these days? His already-toned belly now boasted a six-pack. Muscles didn’t usually do it for me, but I had to admit his tall frame wore it well. I swallowed and looked back up where he’d been patiently waiting for me to finish my perusal.
I cleared my throat and crossed my arms.
“Kope and I aren’t some Hollywood couple,” I stated. “We’re friends. Just friends.”
Kaidan’s jaw rocked side to side for a minute, chewing his thoughts.
“Do you snog all your friends, then?”
Keep it together, I warned myself.
“Er . . .” Blake tugged on his earlobe. “I’m just gonna run in and grab a shower while you two talk.” He took off.
Kaidan and I held our blazing eye contact. He was beyond pissed, which made me angry in my own defense.
Without the comfort of Blake’s presence as a buffer, the silence stretched taut between us. What could I say to make this right? I’d kissed the one guy he’d always been paranoid about. The one guy who elicited his jealousy.
“I never meant for it to happen, Kai. We were—”
“I’d rather not hear the details, thanks.” Kaidan walked to the open area of the thatched bungalow. He took a beer out of the cooler and twisted off the cap, drinking. Pushing aside thoughts about how great a cold beer would be right then, I marched over to him.
“Kaidan.” I may as well have been a ghost as I followed him around the deck, because he turned away as if I weren’t there. “Listen to me.” I touched his forearm, but he pulled it away and gave me a stare down that clearly said Don’t touch me again. My stomach dropped.
In that moment, I believed for the first time he truly might be lost to me. Gone. Because he’d never looked at me like that before.
“Is this all because of Kope? You’re acting like . . .” We both stopped when he turned to me and cocked his head, waiting for me to finish. “. . . like I cheated on you or something.”
The moment I said it, his face flashed from angry hardness to sad softness, and I realized that’s exactly how he felt. Betrayed. Forgotten. Even though he’d been the one who’d left. Even though he’d told me to move on and told Kope to go for it. He hadn’t meant any of it. But that wasn’t my fault.
He finished his beer and proceeded to flip the bottle in the air and catch it, drops of beer flying as it spun. I wiped my arm. I’d had enough of this.
“You really have no right to be upset with me,” I told him. “I heard what you told him on the phone.” Kaidan coughed a dry laugh and threw the bottle higher. “Words,” he said.
Sudden anger and a sense of injustice lashed through me.
“Words are powerful, Kai, and so is a lack of words. You wouldn’t even talk to me anymore. I didn’t know what to think! And then to hear you tell him that? How was I supposed to feel?”
He kept his eyes and attention on the bottle. “Nothing I said could’ve pushed you into his arms if you didn’t want to be there.”
“Yeah, well, in one really bad, freaked-out moment that’s where I ended up, but it wasn’t planned. It felt wrong.”
Kaidan chuckled, a dark sound. “Perhaps your boy Kope is just out of practice. Although some things should come natural for him.”
“All right.” I slapped my hands against my sides. “You’re being unreasonable. We’ll talk when Blake comes back.”
I walked toward the pool, steaming, and he followed me.
“It was inevitable,” he said from behind me.
Grrr!
I spun on my sandaled heels just as he tossed the bottle high again.
“Inevitable? Like you and that Anna chick you work with?”
Kaidan went very still as the bottle hit his upturned hand, fell, and rolled on the deck with a clink. He whispered, “Shite,” and leaned down to get it.
Against my better judgment I took the opportunity to look at his new body again. He’d always had a more rugged face and confident posture than other guys I knew, but I couldn’t get over how much he’d changed. Gone were any of the lean, boyish features from my memory. He peered up at the house.
“I know you’re finished in there, Blake. May as well come out.”
I breathed a silent sigh.
Blake strolled onto the deck wearing low-slung skater shorts and flip-flops. Being shirtless must’ve been mandatory in California. I kind of wished they’d get dressed so I could focus properly when I told them about the prophecy. Blake joined us beside the pool.
“So . . . ,” said Blake, rocking back on his heels. “Lover’s quarrel over?”
“We’re not lovers,” Kaidan and I said together.
“What’s stopping you?” Blake smiled.
“What’s stopping you and Ginger?” Kaidan asked.
“An ocean, man. Fu—” He glanced at me. “Uh . . . eff you.”
“Eff me?” Kaidan asked, grinning. “No, eff you, mate.”
Blake put a fist over his mouth when he caught what must have been a seething look on my face, and he laughed, punching Kaidan in the arm.
“Told you, man! She’s pissed about the cursing thing! Ginger was right.”
I shook my head. I wouldn’t look at them. I was too humiliated to deny it.