“He’s great to work with,” I told her. “It’s been nice getting to know him.”
Her eyebrows went up. “Something’s happened,” she stated with gleeful assuredness.
Gah! Dry mouth. I grabbed my mug and sipped, trying to make a face at Marna like she was crazy, but I couldn’t manage to get my eyebrows together in a convincing-enough furrow. She gasped and let her palms fall smack against the table, gaping at me.
“Get out!” she said. “He snogged your face off, din’ he?”
I coughed. “Really? This is Kope we’re talking about, Marna.”
“He totally did! Your acting is horrendous, Anna.”
This could not be happening.
I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes. “You have to promise you won’t tell a soul. Especially not Ginger.” I sat up and looked at her ogling face. “I’m serious, Marna, because what happened was a total fluke. We’d just been scared to death, and we were still caught up in the emotions from that. He would die if he knew I told you. It was just one kiss.” One really steamy kiss.
“I promise not to tell.” I could see in her eyes and the firm set of her mouth that she meant it. “But a kiss is never just a kiss, Anna, especially from the likes of him. Kope would scoop you right up, if you’d let him.”
I sloshed the cooling coffee around the cup. “I know, Marna, but I can’t. He’s awesome, he really is, but I just . . . can’t.”
She nodded, as if she understood the myriad jumble of reasons why I couldn’t. There was no judgment on her face, and for that I was grateful.
“Tell me,” she said, leaning forward, “because I’m simply expiring of curiosity over here.” Oh no. “Was it brilliant? Was he reserved and gentle, or did he unleash his inner beast?”
I buried my face in my hands as the heat rose upward. Marna clapped her hands and tapped her feet on the rail, laughing lightly. “I knew it! It was good and beastly! I’d always wondered, although I don’t fancy him in that way. Just imagine all that pent-up testosterone—”
“Agh, enough!” I cut her off, and she threw back her head in amusement. Even I had to laugh now. When our bout of giggling ended we watched each other, just two girls in a cozy coffee shop.
“Kai came to see me on Valentine’s Day,” I said.
Her large gray eyes twinkled. “I know.”
“He told you?”
She nodded and set down her cup, crossing her legs and placing her hands in her lap. I waited because it looked like she was trying to figure out what to say.
“Remember what we told you last time you were here?”
“About him not . . .” I mouthed the word working and she nodded.
“Well,” she continued. “It’s for certain. He told me himself. He’ll do a halfhearted job if he’s called to his father, but otherwise, nothing.”
Oh, my gosh. I was beyond scared for him. I felt nauseous.
“Why did he stop?” I whispered.
She licked her lips and sighed.
“Please tell me,” I begged.
Her eyes drifted up to mine. “I don’t want to get your hopes up.”
My hopes immediately went up like a hot air balloon in my chest. “Tell me.”
“Fine.” She leaned forward and so did I. “Lately he’s been asking a lot about you and Kope. He totes believes the two of you are meant to be or something.”
My cheeks heated with guilt and embarrassment, and she bit her lip, probably thinking about the kiss, just as I was.
“Of course I tell him you’re only friends. But I think he feels like he needs to be like Kope—to prove he can be strong enough and . . . worthy enough. For you.”
I closed my eyes, the late-night cappuccino churning my stomach.
“He doesn’t need to prove anything to me.”
“Maybe not to you. But to himself.”
I remembered the look on his face when he’d come to me last month. He’d been void of that cocky bravado, and showing a deeper kind of confidence in himself—a willing openness I’d never seen before, and it had drawn me to him.
A chime sounded from Marna’s purse and she lifted out her cell phone with slender fingers. She read the text and rolled her eyes. “Argh, I’d better go before Ginger comes looking for me and murders us both.”
We stood and embraced.
“I miss you,” I whispered, and I felt her nod. Then she kissed my cheek.
“Take care, you.” She flipped the chestnut locks off her shoulder and swished out of the shop, taking my secret with her.
When I got back home Saturday night I didn’t know up from down. My internal clock was so battered that I felt confused. Patti forced me to eat and drink something. She then sat on the edge of my bed, running her fingers through my hair.
“I didn’t see a single spirit the whole time I was away,” I mumbled as the grogginess took over.
“Thank the Lord,” she whispered.
I heard her sniffle and saw her hands wiping her face, and before I passed out I wondered how much more of this life she could possibly take.
Summer
End of Senior Year
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
GRADUATION VISITORS
Sweat beaded under my royal blue cap and gown. It was hot for an outdoor graduation, but everyone was too energized to complain. As the band played “Pomp and Circumstance,” it was difficult not to be swept away by the rushes of joy, sadness, eagerness, and hope from hearts in every direction. If only everyone could see what I saw. Colors swirling, dancing, blending. Iridescent mists of attentive guardian angels above them. Not a demon in sight. Abundant joy.