“You didn’t do anything wrong.” My heart still pounded too hard.
“Forgive me, Anna. Please.”
I instinctively reached for his hands, my heart breaking as regret flooded through me.
“There’s nothing to forgive, Kope. I started it. Please don’t feel bad.”
But he still hung his head. “I wanted this for so long, and I knew . . . I knew I would not be in control of myself.”
I didn’t quite understand why the king of self-control would be worried about losing control from a kiss. But he had. Something else was going on here.
“You know you can tell me anything, right, Kope?”
“It’s too shameful,” he whispered.
“No.” I rubbed my thumbs across his.
“I . . . Anna . . . Wrath is not the only sin that plagues me. It’s not even my primary sin.”
What? My hands stilled. He had more than one vice? How was that possible?
Things began clicking into place. Like the way he reacted every time a woman flirted or touched him, with the exception of Marna who was like a sister. He’d always been so careful not to make contact or even look if he could avoid it.
Lust. And wrath. A dangerous combination.
As much as I wanted to comfort him, I didn’t dare hug him. Instead I held his hands tighter.
“Who else knows?” I asked.
“My father and two blood brothers . . . and Kaidan.”
Oh.
“He is very observant. He asked me the second day we met. He was young at the time, but somehow he knew.”
I swallowed hard.
“I promise not to tell anyone, Kope. Let’s just go back to the hotel and try to figure out all this stuff about Flynn. ’Kay?”
“Yes. Okay.”
I did a quick check to make sure my skirt was adjusted properly before opening the closet door. We didn’t so much as glance in the other’s direction the entire walk back to our hotel.
Clearly this was going to be more than just a minor hurdle for us to get past. As we went in silence to our own rooms, it became clear that I had ruined any friendship we’d built. So much for trying to figure things out about Flynn. We couldn’t even bring ourselves to talk.
I let myself into my room and went straight to the bed, falling facedown. What had I done? Lying there, I replayed the entire scene, starting with the surprise of passion we’d unleashed. In that moment when I’d shut off all thought, the physical intimacy had been more than welcome. And yet, there had been something missing. It was nothing physical, because Kope was the total package, and the boy could definitely kiss.
But there’d been no spark in my heart to ignite me. No fluttery feeling of triumph had bloomed in my belly. Only one person had ever made me feel that way. I reached up and touched the necklace Kai had given me.
A sick sensation filled my stomach. This was not fair to Kope. I saw now that love could not be stopped, forgotten, or transferred, no matter what schemes the mind and body devised.
I rolled over and climbed down from the bed, thinking a shower might help. When I closed the bathroom door and caught sight of myself in the mirror, my eye was drawn to two spots on my neck. I leaned toward the mirror and gasped. Hickeys! This had to be some cosmic joke. Had Kope seen them when we were walking back? No way. He hadn’t even blinked in my direction. Kope would die if he saw them.
I squatted down, feeling dizzy. Guilt surged up at the thought of Kai finding out. But why should I feel guilty? Kai had given Kope the green light. Regardless, he would never find out about this kiss because I wasn’t telling a soul, and I knew Kope wouldn’t either.
A knock at the door had me forgetting everything and jumping to my feet with my heart in my throat. Had Mammon or Flynn found me? No way. Maybe Kope wanted to talk. I sent out my hearing but the visitor was silent. I slipped out of the bathroom and tiptoed to the door to look through the peephole. It wasn’t any of them; it was Dad.
I flung the door open and he pressed a finger to his lips, shaking his head to ward off any greeting. When he turned to face me, darned if his eyes didn’t go straight to my neck, which I’d stupidly forgotten about in my astonishment at seeing him.
Oh, holy mortification. I slid a hand over the marks and felt myself turning beet red as he glared at me. His eyebrows tightened. I imagined him yelling inside his own head: I thought I’d chosen to send you off with the safer of the two boys!
Yeah, well, little did he know that he’d sent me packing with a Lust Neph after all. I sure wasn’t going to tell him. I sat on the bed, pulling my knees up. I rested my chin on my forearms, hiding my neck.
Dad scribbled a message on the notepad from the desk in the corner. He tore it off and flung it on the bed.
Azael couldn’t come—had to do rounds. I’m going to surprise Mammon and get him out of town for the night so you can meet with his kid. He’ll think I’m here to track down a rogue dealer who fled the U.S.
I reached out a hand for the notepad and pen, which he handed over, frowning again at my revealed neck.
Thanks for the heads-up. Let me know when it’s safe for us to go to Flynn.
He took the note, read it, and nodded. I lay my head on my arms, sighing. Dad sat down next to me and rubbed my back for a second. When I leaned toward him, he put his arm around me. For a demon, he was pretty sweet. I guess he had been an angel at one time, after all. I considered asking him about Neph having double sins, but decided now was not a good time. We stayed like that for a few minutes, until he patted my arm and stood. He scribbled something and tossed it at me.