I started to turn when his eyes went to the bottle and he chuckled.
I glanced at the bottle wondering what I’d done that was amusing. When he didn’t say anything else, I looked at him. “What’s wrong? You did say chardonnay?” I began wondering if I’d misunderstood.
“Yes. I did. And you chose the cheapest bottle. It also happens to be my favorite. I’ve never had a female pick that bottle out. Most go for the Montrachet or the Coche-Dury Corton-Charlemagne.”
He could have been speaking a different language for all that meant to me. I could act like I knew wines or be honest. He knew my background and pretending in front of him was silly. “I just grabbed the first chardonnay I found.”
He chuckled some more. “Well, you’d have found five more bottles of the one you’re holding right now. I buy a bottle every time I go to Target.”
Target? Stone went to Target? “Really?” I asked wondering if he was making a joke.
“Yes. They are the only place around here I’ve seen it. I try to grab a bottle when I’m close by.”
The idea of Stone shopping at Target made me grin. That seemed so out of place.
“Something funny?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes. You shopping at Target. Sorry, but that’s funny.”
He smirked then. “I like the soft pretzels in their café there too. Want to laugh about that while you’re at it?”
I did. I laughed loudly. I didn’t mean to but I did. Stone with a Target soft pretzel was too much. When I finally gained composure, I wiped at the tears in my eyes and smiled up at him. He was watching me. His expression was one I couldn’t read and was so brief, it was there for a moment then gone. I almost thought I didn’t see it, but it had caused a flutter. Damn that flutter.
THE TASTE OF THE CRISP cool wine felt nice on my tongue. It washed down the delicious meal perfectly. Stone explained the filled dumplings were popular in Eastern Europe. He also told me about the process to make them. Geraldine had been taught by a Polish friend of hers when she was a young woman. I ate and listened to him talk. As the wine relaxed me the sound of Stone’s voice became richer, thicker, and more appealing.
That was not a good thing. I knew it, and I fought against it until my third glass of wine made me simply not care. It wasn’t my fault Stone had a nice voice. I had to accept it and get on with my life. Right now, I would enjoy listening to him talk though. It wasn’t hurting anyone.
Once the food was cleared from my plate and my third glass was almost empty, the pain that came with thoughts of Jasper was gone as was my constant fear of losing my sister. I trusted Stone. He said I wouldn’t lose her and I believed him. I had no reason to think he was being dishonest. He was a good man. He was a bastard at times too. But deep down he was good.
“No I’m not, Beulah,” he replied.
I frowned wondering what he was talking about. Had I said something out loud? “Huh?” I asked needing clarification.
“Deep down I am the same. Cold, hard, indifferent. Don’t confuse my actions for anything more.”
I had said it out loud. He didn’t mention the bastard bit, so I apparently hadn’t said that. Words continued to pour forth without my bidding. “I disagree. I’ve seen you with Geraldine. I know you have a heart. You protect her and care for her. You give her that smile that other women never receive. Then there is the way you protect Jasper from himself. You have your problems, but no one helps you or seems to care.”
I snapped my mouth shut realizing I was saying way too much and the wine was the reason.
“They need me. I don’t need them. I don’t need anyone.”
“Everyone needs someone,” I replied.
“No, Beulah. They don’t. Some of us are strong enough.”
No one was strong enough to need no one. “You need to be needed. You need Geraldine and Jasper to need you. That’s what gives you peace. It gives you purpose. Maybe you aren’t weak by needing to be rescued the traditional way. But you need to be strong. That’s what saves you.”
As I heard the words coming out of my mouth, I understood him better. Strange how a little Target wine can make you see things you were missing.
Stone stood up and picked up both of our plates. “I believe that’s enough for us both. Good night, Beulah. I hope you enjoyed dinner and sleep well,” Stone said as he walked inside with the empty plates. I stared at the door as it closed behind him. My butt was still planted firmly in the chair. I had made a very good observation and he’d walked off. Just like that. Had it angered him? Why did he get to say whatever he wanted and then walk off when something he didn’t like was said?
Was he not allowed to have a weakness? Even if he needed to be strong for someone else? It was still a need. We all had needs.
I stood up quickly shoving my chair back as I did it. My balance was off somewhat but I ignored that. I had a mission. I was going to tell Stone just that.
The kitchen was my destination and I stalked toward it with determination. Storming inside my expression fierce. Ready to make Stone hear me I had barely gotten inside when I said loudly. “It is human to need something. You are a human. Needing to be needed is ALLOWED!” I finished that with my hands firmly planted on my hips as I managed to focus on Stone.
He was at the sink on the other side of the counter where he had been rinsing off dishes. We stood there. His eyes locked on mine. No one said a word and the time felt as if it was slowly ticking by and Stone was never going to speak. But his gaze held me there. Immobile. Worried I should have just gone to bed and not been so determined to prove a point. The dang wine. One glass would have been plenty.
Just when I began to think we would stand there all night in this staring contest waiting for the other to break, he moved. He walked around the bar and stalked toward me. I didn’t think he was going to hurt me, although the scowl on his face concerned me the closer he got to me.
When I thought he would walk right past me still scowling, he stopped inches from our bodies touching. I inhaled sharply, preparing for whatever hard and possibly cruel things he was about to let loose.
“You’re right. It’s human to need. It’s part of our flaw. Or weakness,” he began. His voice was deep and dark. I shivered but didn’t want to move away. “But that’s not a fucking need. It’s part of my life. A part I accepted a long time ago. I need. Yes. I need something I cannot have. That’s what I need, Beulah. What I need and want is mine are two different things.”
His words were like a riddle but he smelled so nice and the heat from his body was so close I didn’t care at the moment. He could keep speaking in riddles, I would keep listening.
Stone closed even more of the tiny bit of space left between us. “Right now, I need you to go to your room and lock your door.” His tone was threatening, and I shivered again.
He leaned in until his mouth was at my ear. I closed my eyes and took him in. His presence. His strength. His scent. “Go to your motherfucking room. Now.” Although his words weren’t a shout. They were a demand. I pulled back and looked up at him. He closed his eyes tightly. “I have asked little of you, Beulah. Do this one fucking thing for me. Please.”
Those were the words that sent me to my room. The words I couldn’t argue with because he had done so much for me. He had asked for nothing from me. He was always there to save the people around him. So instead of pushing, waiting, or hoping for the unnamed, I backed away until I was far enough from him I could tear my eyes off his almost black ones and walk to my room. As I moved away from Stone, my heart pounded faster, and my need to escape was clear.