Mainly because the memory of the amazing night and morning I had with Reese keeps filtering into the memory of the photos I received. And I get it; it’s not his fault that the photos were sent to me. He obviously didn’t send them. But he allowed them to be taken and had to have known that they could possibly be leaked or shown to somebody. I’ve never let anyone take pictures of me like that or taken ones of myself and sent them to anybody. So why did he let her do it? Did she mean something to him? Was she special in some way or did he allow all of his hookups to take pictures of him like that? That thought makes me want to drink myself into tomorrow. And then there’s the quantity that I received. There had to be at least twelve different shots of him having an orgasm. Twelve separate times that they f**ked and she made him come. Was there more than that? Did she only send me the best images? His words from our shower together run through me. I don’t usually f**k my flings repeatedly. So she obviously wasn’t a fling. She was more than that to him. Just like me. Maybe she got too clingy and that’s why he ended things with her. She was the girl he wasn’t really serious with before the wedding. And he’s not really serious with me. How am I any different than her?
“Cupcake, you all right?” Joey asks as I put the finishing touches on the cake for the Brown/Tucker wedding. Even though my mind has been elsewhere, I’m still able to put together a beautiful four-tiered white chocolate creation with sugared Gerber daisies cascading down the side. “Dylan?”
I step back and admire my work. “I’m fine. Come look at this will you?” Joey shuffles back into the kitchen and I hear his reaction, causing me to smile. I turn and see his adoring expression. “Looks pretty good right?”
He moves next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him. “Gorgeous. You never cease to amaze me, cupcake.” He plants a quick kiss into my hair as my phone beeps. Somehow, even though I had hurled it with all my strength against my wall earlier, it managed to survive the assault. I reach quickly into my pocket after wiping my hands off on my apron.
Reese: I need to see you tonight.
I show it to Joey. “Well you knew that was coming, the boy is persistent.” He leans in and checks out the flowers. “What are you going to do?”
I stare at his message before I answer. “I don’t know, I think I need a night with my two best friends and no boys. Can that happen?” He smiles and pulls his phone out, quickly messing with it. I’ll deal with Reese tomorrow when we both attend Billy and Joey’s party.
His phone beeps and he turns towards me. “Juls is in, cupcake. No boys.” I nod and smile weakly as I reply to Reese.
Me: I can’t tonight. I need some time to think.
Joey walks back up front while I await his response. It doesn’t take long.
Reese: Don’t pull away from me.
He guts me with his words, the same words from last night. Is he that worried that I’ll end this? Or he is just worried that I won’t give him the opportunity to explain the situation. I type quickly.
Me: I’m not. I just think I need some space. You have no idea what this feels like for me.
I go to press send but don’t, my thumb hovering over the button. Shit. Do I really want space from him? Hitting the back button, I shorten the message before I send it.
Me: I’m not.
**
Joey drove us to Juls’ house that night after we closed up shop and made a quick liquor store run. There was no way in hell I wasn’t drinking tonight. I was actually surprised I didn’t dive into the vodka bottle that’s been in my freezer for months at some point today. But I’d never drink at work, no matter how hurt or pissed off I was. Reese hadn’t sent me any more messages or tried to call, which I was grateful for. But it also surprised me. He was so damned persistent about everything that I half expected him to barge into the shop before closing, throw me over his shoulder, and take me home with him so that we could f**k, talk, and f**k some more. And I hated that a chunk of me wished he would have. But tonight wasn’t about boys. It was about spending time with my two best friends, laughing and hanging out like we did before the three of us fell fast and hard for members of the Chicago man candy club.
Joey parked outside Juls’ building and we walked inside together. She lived in Hyde Park, which was about fifteen minutes from the bakery in a two bedroom apartment. She’s lived here since graduation and it occurred to me as we walked up the flight of stairs to the second floor that she would only be living here for a few more months. She would surely move in with Ian after the wedding and the thought of her not living in this place that held so many of our memories saddened me. I sigh and catch Joey’s attention as we step out onto the floor.
“Come on, cupcake, we’re here to have fun, not sulk.” I follow him to Juls’ door and he opens it without knocking in true Joey form. Once he’s been to your house, he feels like he lives there along with you.
“I’m not sulking. I’ll just miss this place once Juls moves in with Ian.” We spot her in the kitchen opening a bottle of wine and she beams at us. “Do you remember that time we threw that eighties party here and you dressed up like Vanilla Ice?” He blushes at my memory as we plop down in front of the television on the floor.
Juls walks over with three wine glasses and hands them out. “That was f**king hilarious. You knew the entire rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” she says. I giggle into my glass and take a few large sips.