Hunter glanced at Carlotta sleeping in the rearview mirror. “Now that he’s home from his latest mission, he’ll welcome the company, honey.”
In fact, they might be good for one another. At the very least, they would make steadfast friends, and no one could ever have too many of those.
“I hate to spring this on him. I’m sure he has better things to do than babysit.”
“The Colonel needs to slow down, and this will give him a reason. He has plenty of operatives willing to do his work for him, and he continues to globetrot to the shitholes of the world, chasing an adrenaline rush.” He had nothing else to come home to—and hadn’t since he’d let his wife walk out the door.
“Thank you.” Kata finally turned to him, grabbed his hand, and squeezed. “For . . . back there. For putting Gordon in his place. I really appreciate it.”
Hunter wished he could do more. “He deserved it. I wanted to pound his face into the ground, but he’s the kind of weasel who would only call the police. And the entire incident would upset your mother, I suspect.”
“Very much. I can tell the restraint cost you.” A faint smile lifted her grim face. “Thanks.”
Sliding his thumb across her soft hand, Hunter gathered his thoughts, then sent her a solemn stare. “I hope you know I’d never treat you like Gordon.”
Kata swallowed, looked away. “I know you’d never purposely demean me or want me to feel weak. But, like Gordon, you want me all to yourself. Eventually, I fear that I’d . . . let you have your way.”
Just as he’d suspected. “I’m possessive, honey. I don’t deny it. But I’d never want you isolated and unhappy. And if I ever had so little respect for you, I’d end the marriage. But I suspect you’d do that long before matters became that bad.”
She blinked and pressed her lips together, fighting tears. “You’re not understanding. I’m not afraid of you; I’m afraid of me. A part of me would love giving myself over to you totally, the way my mother seems to enjoy at times. I won’t lie, I love having your attention. You make me feel special. But your intensity terrifies me. And after sex . . . I’m always afraid of how much I’ve given you. I couldn’t live with myself if I lost my spine for good.”
Kata knew that he wasn’t like Gordon, but Hunter had no fucking idea how to assure her that she wasn’t like her mother.
He didn’t have a lot of time left with her; what they had was ticking down quickly. As much as he wanted to give her the full-court press and totally make her his in every way, she wasn’t ready. As afraid as she was—clearly with cause—he wondered if she ever would be.
But he couldn’t give up.
“What happens between us sexually has no reflection on the rest of our life. I have at least another six months on this contract. Another eight years in the navy if I want to retire with benefits. The reality is, I’d be leaving you in charge of our lives when I’m overseas. I couldn’t do that unless I know you’re strong and capable, which you are. You’d never, ever let me take away your job, your friends, your car, your phone, your free will . . . And I would never ask you to give those up. Would I like you to have a safer job? Yes. Would I like you to avoid Ben? Yes. Would I force you to do without either for the rest of your life? Never.”
“But I have this insane urge to please you that I’ve never felt. I don’t want to give up either right now, but eventually . . .” She shrugged.
The shame in her voice made him ache. He didn’t see her ever giving up what she needed in life. But she had to learn that. He had to help her. Hunter gripped the wheel, his mind racing. He’d have to think on that. Maybe more information would help him know which way to turn.
“Why did you ask Ben for a ménage for your birthday?”’
Kata blinked, the question clearly surprising her. “I didn’t, per se. I told him that it was one of my fantasies. This was months before my birthday. He told me that he’d try to make it happen. Then you showed up and . . .”
Hunter winced. He’d stomped in the middle and busted up the situation.
“Why did you want it?”
“It’s . . .” She shrugged, looked out the window again. “Not important.”
But something told him it was. “We have a couple of hours to kill until we reach my dad’s, and your mom is going to sleep for a while, since we gave her that codeine cough medicine. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me. Please.”
“Wow, a ‘please’ from you?” she teased, then sighed. “I guess I should have known Ben wouldn’t really understand, and it’s probably a dumb fantasy . . .”
“How did Ben not understand? He arranged the ménage. I’m the one who derailed it.” And he’d taken great pleasure doing it.
She squirmed in her seat. “It wasn’t really a ménage I wanted. I had this fantasy of a man I was with . . . giving me to someone else. Like, demanding that I be with someone of his choosing because he thought I was so sexy and amazing that he wanted to show me off, and I wanted to please him so badly that I let him. It’s dumb.”
Shock pinged through his system. The depth of her submissive nature stunned him. “Not if that’s what you wanted.”
She might fight his commands because she wasn’t accustomed to being under anyone’s control and didn’t know where and how to draw the line, but to learn that she wanted to be so utterly owned by a man that she could be shared . . . That was into slave territory. Hunter had no interest in sharing, but her words confirmed everything he believed about her true desires. She saw submission as a weakness, but she needed this on a core level. Somehow, she must see that succumbing to her needs didn’t make her a doormat. But understanding that could only happen when she accepted herself and learned to trust him.
“It’s never going to happen, so it doesn’t matter. Let’s just drop it.” She withdrew her hand and looked away as if she suddenly found the dark, empty road fascinating.
“How long have you had this fantasy?”
She shrugged.
Hunter turned a stern glower her way. “I expect an answer now, or I will stop this car and take you over my knee. I don’t care if passersby see.”
She gasped. Her breath came more rapidly. Jesus, she was already aroused. So was he.
“Fine. I’ve had the thought for about seven years. I read a book once where a man shared his girlfriend with his best friend, and . . .” She shrugged. “It just stuck with me.”