“I know,” she nodded while looking down the hall where Tristan stood with Rigley and Lincoln. “It’s not very nice to pick on him while he’s so pathetic. Not that I’m sad you bulldozed his heart, but he’s not very much fun while he’s like this. I do prefer my victims to have a little bit of fight left in them. You sucked the soul right out of his future-frat boy body. He depresses me now.”
“It’s not like that,” I argued. But Ok, it was kind of like that. “Think he’ll ever recover?”
“Hopefully not,” she groaned.
“Piper!” I gasped. “He’ll be fine.” But it was more to myself than to her. I had to believe that. I had to believe he would get over me. Our friendship had been nothing but strained and awkward since prom. And while the first part of prom been one of the most perfect if not saddest in my life, we both realized we had to move on from each other.
Sometimes I wondered if Tristan only agreed because it was what I wanted to hear. But other times I knew he believed it. There wasn’t a future for us. We had always known that. It was why we had fought the attraction between us for so long. But it was excruciating to watch him recover. I hated that I caused him so much pain.
I hated that I seemed to cause every boy in my life so much pain.
“Is he why you’re so mopey now?” Piper asked as she leaned back against the bank of lockers. We were still an hour from getting out of school for the summer, but nobody was taking classes seriously by now. Finals were over, lockers were cleaned out. We were just biding our time and saying goodbye to our friends that we would no doubt see in two days at the annual start of summer bonfires that dotted the countryside.
“Not really,” I said honestly. “I’m just….” How did I say this?
“Is it Seth? Are you still hung up on Seth?”
I turned to Piper and felt the tears sting my eyes. I hadn’t seen or heard from Seth since Sri Lanka. And I was thankful for that. But sometimes I swear I could feel him nearby- feel him watching me. Until he made contact I wasn’t going to seek him out; that would just end in us fighting. But every moment of every day I worried about him, worried about what was happening to him, what new and creative evils Aliah was exposing him to. There was so much wrong with what was happening, I couldn’t help but let it consume me.
“Yes,” I said honestly. “It’s Seth. I miss him.”
“Oh, Stel,” Piper crooned and pulled me against her. “I didn’t even know you guys were this serious.”
I fought tears and said, “I don’t think I did either until he was gone. And I hate myself for that.”
She hugged me tighter and released me. “Have you heard from him?”
“Nothing good,” I sighed.
She frowned, her hazel eyes filling with concern. “It’s probably better that he’s gone then. I know it’s hard, but there are other boys out there.”
“Ms. Cassidy!” Mrs. Sadler, the school secretary, gasped as she passed us in the hallway. She was well into her sixties and wielded the kind of crotchety power every student was terrified of. “Get to the office right now! Have you been wearing that outfit all day?”
Piper pressed her lips together in an effort not to laugh. “Not all day, Mrs. Sadler. I’ve been slowly removing articles of clothing for only the past two hours.”
“You’ve been what?” Mrs. Sadler shrieked.
“Well, you know, I’ll be a senior next year. I’m just testing out my potential career options before I decide on a college.” Piper smiled innocently and I had to stifle my own laugh.
“Do not share what options you’re considering Ms. Cassidy. Go to the office. Now.” Mrs. Sadler held out an impatient arm and Piper obeyed willingly. She flashed me a goofy smile and mouthed that she would call me later.
Piper had purposefully worn a risqué outfit today in the hope of getting sent home hours earlier. By lunchtime she had been really upset that the teachers seemed oblivious to the white baggy, boys wrestling t-shirt she had cut into a kind of crop top t-shirt that was longer attached on the sides but revealed a healthy amount of belly and back. It was also scoop necked and a little scandalous. Her extra short, frayed denim skirt was just as bad. The only modest amount of clothing she was wearing was her cowboy boots that she borrowed from me. Lincoln hadn’t talked to her all day; he was either too embarrassed to be seen with her or pissed she was stooping to flaunting her body in an effort to get out of school early.
I was just impressed by her confidence.
I waved goodbye and then leaned back into my locker with a long sigh.
“How committed is your friend to that kid?”
“Go away, Jude,” I growled.
Cigarette smoke wafted around me and this was what I didn’t understand. Piper got hauled away for her first inappropriate outfit all year and Jude regularly smoked in the hallways, bathrooms, and around the school building and nothing. He was never caught.
It did not make sense.
I thought about organizing a feminist rally, but I hated to admit that most of the female population of this school was fascinated by the resident bad boy.
But that was only because they didn’t know just how truly bad he was.
There was an acceptable amount of rebel that every girl sat at attention to. And then there was the pure evil abomination that was Jude Michaels.
Ok, and maybe I hadn’t exactly gotten over his betrayal yet.
Nor would I ever.