“Of what, exactly?”
“Alex—it wouldn’t be a fling. It wouldn’t be simple or easy. If I let myself, I’d just end up hurt and then it would be in every newspaper and on every gossip site.”
“Why do you think Alex would hurt you?” She sat back in her seat. “No one knows Alex the way I do. When Daddy died, Alex stepped up and became the man of the house. He watched out for me and Max. Max has classic middle-child syndrome and left for school as quickly as he could, but every decision Alex has made was based on how it would affect us. And I can see how much he already cares about you. He would never do anything to hurt you.”
“Not on purpose.” I played with my napkin. “I don’t think I could handle the scrutiny, the media attention.”
“That’ll die down after a while. Or you’ll get used to it. It’s overwhelming right now, but we do have real lives. We go on vacations and sometimes have lazy Sundays like everyone else in the world.”
She didn’t understand. She’d been born into something that was so foreign to me I felt as if I’d been dropped on another planet. And Alex would break my heart—he’d have to when it came time for him to take the throne. I’d read enough in my Idiots Guide to the Monarchy that I knew he had to marry someone of royal blood who would be able to help him rule the country.
“The wheels are turning in your head; I can practically hear the gears squeak.” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “You know what I think? I think you’re worried about what it would mean if it all worked out. Alex comes with some heavy baggage. Crown prince isn’t nearly as fun as they make it out to be in the storybooks. Whoever he chooses will be queen.”
I groaned. “Exactly. I’m an American, for crying out loud. Remember? The adorable little foreigner that says whatever she’s thinking? No one would accept me as their queen and God knows I wouldn’t blame them. When I think about being with Alex, I can’t just think about how he makes me feel, I have to think about how it would affect an entire country. If they reject me, he would have to leave me. And if they don’t reject me, how badly could I screw it all up?”
Cathy smiled and leaned back in her chair. “He could always abdicate.”
“Geez, Cathy, that wouldn’t make me feel like an ass or anything.” I glared at her. “Our entire relationship, I would be the reason he wasn’t king.”
“The very things that have you worried are the exact things that mean you would make an excellent queen.”
“You don’t understand. You’ve been brought up your whole life with that as a possible future. I was brought up in a land with no kings or queens. The very idea makes me nervous.”
“You do realize you’re from a line of royalty that once held the crown of Lilaria?” She snorted and picked up her plate. “Sam, get it together. Sometimes all our plans for life go to shit. You end up doing something you never dreamed of and you know what you do?”
I stood up and followed her to the sink with my plate. “What’s that, oh wise one?”
“You make the best out of it you can. Nothing is ever as good or as bad as you think it will be. It’s what you make of it.” Alex had said that exact same thing to me. She tossed her leftovers and handed the plate to the dishwasher. “But I can tell you this: You will never find another man that would love you the way Alex would.”
“Riddle me this. If you’re so smart, why are you hanging out with Kyle? He’s a scumbag.” I looked over at her as we walked.
“Oh, I know.” She shrugged. “I know exactly what he’s after, but when it’s just us, we have fun. I might understand how the world works, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to just be a little wild.”
“Be careful there. The lines become blurry when we’re living it.”
“I will.” Her blithe answer did nothing to make me feel like I had gotten through to her. Kyle was dangerous and I’d hate to see some of her sweetness smothered by the scars he would leave on her heart. “You leave tomorrow?”
“Yep. Bright and early. I think we’re driving.” I shrugged. “Chadwick already packed up my clothes and sent them to the house.”
“You’ll love it out there. Lots of trees and quiet.”
“I’ve seen some pictures online, but I’m really looking forward to being there in person.” I stopped near my bedroom door.
“Alex is going, too?”
“Yes.” I took a deep breath. I hadn’t seen him since our trip to the bookstore. It felt like ages and I was eager but also nervous to see him again.
“Lighten up, Sam.” She pushed my shoulder. “I expect an invitation to dinner soon.”
“Pizza party at my place.”
“Sounds perfect.” She hugged me quickly. “I’ve got to run.”
“See you soon.”
I spent the rest of the afternoon going through my e-mails. I was almost through with the list of unread messages when a new one popped in. When I saw the return address I grinned. It was from Bert, probably telling me about something silly Jess had done. I clicked on the icon and almost screamed when I saw the attached pictures.
From: BERT
To: "Sam Rousseau" <PRIVATE>
Subject: Important Question!!
Sam,
I was going to ask you to come with me to look, but since you’re all the way in Lilaria I’m sending you pictures. She’ll kick my ass if I pick the wrong one. What do you think?