When the door opened she tensed, waiting for the fight to continue. She didn't want to fight with him. She hated fighting with him. All she wanted to do was go back to the way things were before he said those things that hurt her and before he kissed her, robbing her of her sanity and made her wonder about things that she had no business even thinking about.
"Joe?" he said softly.
Instead of answering him she closed her eyes and pretended to be asleep. It was cowardly, she knew that, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She was glad that he didn't insist on coming with her this week like he normally would have done. They both needed some time apart to think about a few things. If things didn't change by the time she got back, meaning they weren't able to go back to the way things were between them before they'd both messed up then she was going to ask for a transfer to another station.
She laid there as she listened as he pulled his boots off. She thought about asking him to leave so that she could get some sleep and avoid another argument, but instead she just laid there soaking up his presence. When she felt the bed dip and he curled his body around her seconds later she felt like crying. She hated fighting with him, hated not being able to go to him with her problems, and hated feeling like a part of her was dying.
"I am so sorry, Joe," he whispered, gently pushing her hair away from her face and neck. "I know I keep f**king up," he said, pressing a kiss to her neck, "and that by all rights you should bitch slap me, but I can't stand the idea of you getting hurt."
His hand found its way to her panty clad hip and gave her a gentle squeeze. "It kills me to think of what could have happened that night, Joe," he explained softly as he pressed another kiss to her neck. "Do you have any idea how lost I would be without you?"
"You're my entire world, Joe," he said, pressing another kiss to her neck, this time lingering. "I don't know what I'd do without," he said against her skin.
Nibbling her lip, she turned onto her back and reached up with her right hand to cup his jaw, loving the way the stubble felt against her hand. "And what the hell do you think I'd do without you?" she demanded.
His large warm hand landed on her stomach, gently caressing her skin. "Everything would be okay. Nathan would watch out for you and take care of you, Joe," he said soothingly as he pressed a warm kiss to her forehead.
"I don't need anyone to look out for me!" she snapped, sick of this constant babying. When exactly did she become a weak needy woman in his eyes? It was really insulting. She was anything but weak and he damn well knew it.
He sighed heavily even as his hand continued to caress her stomach through her thin shirt. "Yes, you do."
"What the hell is it going to take for you to realize that I can take care of myself?" she demanded, trying not to sound hurt, but probably failed miserably. She didn't want to appear weak and needy in his eyes. She wanted.......
Hell, she didn't even know what she wanted, but she knew she didn't want that. She didn't want him hanging around because he thought that she needed a keeper.
"If I thought having a boyfriend in my life would get you to back off I'd run out and get one," she said, not noticing the way his hand suddenly stilled on her stomach, "but we both know that wouldn't help since you become a complete jerk whenever I'm dating someone."
"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked tightly and she wished she could see his expression. This little news flash really couldn't be a shock. Everyone knew that when she dated someone Eric developed a raging case of PMS.
"What am I talking about? Are you serious?" she asked, feeling a little muscle begin to tick in his jaw when he nodded firmly.
"How many of my ex-boyfriends have you beaten up?" she asked, arching an eyebrow, almost daring him to lie about it.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," he grumbled, shifting to move away from her, but she wasn't having that. She turned into him, pressing her hands to his bare chest and threw a leg over his hip as she moved up, giving him no choice but to lie on his back as she straddled his waist.
She really couldn't help the smug little smile that played at her lips since she'd just proved that she was more than physically capable of taking care of herself. He would just have to suck it-
"Hey!" she cried out in surprise as she suddenly found herself pushed onto her back with him situated between her legs and her arms held down firmly by her head.
After a brief struggle that didn't improve her situation she gave up with a sigh. "Just know that I could kick your ass at any moment, Eric. You're lucky I'm tired."
His amused chuckle was kind of insulting even if she did find it soothing. "I know. I'm counting my blessings right now," he said, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose as he settled himself more comfortably between her legs.
"Well?" she demanded, curious to see if he'd admit to being an overbearing jerk when she dated.
"Well, what?"
"You're not going to admit that you don't trust me to take care of myself and that you sure as hell don't trust any of the men I bring into my life," she said, wondering if he was going to play it off like he usually did when she called him on it.
"You date ass**les and losers," he said, shocking her. Not that she didn't realize that her taste in men sucked, but he usually just shrugged it off like it was nothing. He'd never acted like he didn't like the guys she dated even when she knew for a fact that he didn't like them. He always treated her boyfriends like they were his long lost friends, but as soon as it was over he gave her ex the cold shoulder. She also knew that he'd given more than one of them a reason or two to visit the ER.
"Then why the hell do you act like you like them?"
"It makes it easier to keep an eye on you," he explained as he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "It's the same reason why you pretend to like the annoying women I date, Joe. You don't want to be pushed off to the side," he said softly as he entwined their fingers together.
"They really are annoying," she agreed on a sigh.
"I want you safe, Joe."
"I am safe," she said, biting back a groan. What the hell was it going to take for him to see that?
"I hate being away from you and I know if I keep pushing this that you're going to pull away from me so for now I'm going to drop it, but I'm really hoping that you discover that you like dispatching more than working on the truck," he said, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips that shocked her, but what shocked her even more was her reaction to the simple chaste kiss.