“Tess,” I started.
Brax jerked to a stop and stared at Tessa. The people behind us on the walk nearly bumped into us. “What do you mean, with someone like her?” His voice was low and controlled. But I could tell he was angry.
Tessa met his gaze, not backing down, and she tucked her long straight hair behind her ear. “Come on, Brax. Everyone at Winston knows your taste in females. Olivia is polar opposite.”
Brax turned to me, and his gaze softened as it swept over my face. With his arm draped over my shoulders, he pulled me closer, and a blush stole up my neck. “She sure is.”
“I’m going to throw up now. Later guys,” Tess started to walk away. “Hey, Brax, who’s that dead-sexy first baseman of yours?”
Brax finally dragged his gaze away from me and looked at her. “Cory Maxwell? He’s goin’ through relationship hell right now.”
Tessa’s smile was white and ridiculously goofy. “I can totally be a rebound, no prob. Give him my number, will ya?” She twirled around and headed off to class.
Brax shook his head as we continued to class. “I like her.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, I do, too.”
In class, we’d moved on from Homer’s Iliad to Odyssey, and although in the past couple of weeks I’d learned to just ignore Kelsy’s presence, today I looked up. He was glaring at me, inconspicuously but still so. I quickly glanced back down at my notes, and when I chanced another look, he’d thankfully turned away. Perhaps seeing me with someone else had finally struck home; that he had no power over me anymore. Maybe it’d made him lose interest. I prayed it had.
For the rest of the day, though, Kelsy Evans stayed on my mind. Rather, the secret of mine he held. I’d waffled on just telling Brax everything; about what’d happened to me that night before my senior year, and everything after. Yet, I hadn’t. Something inside of me still feared his reaction, and I couldn’t explain that. What was keeping Kelsy from letting it be known just what a fraud I was anyway? Maybe fear of my brothers’ retaliation? Brax’s? The looks Kelsy had slipped me during class were of pure hatred most of the time, and I’d guessed it probably had something to do with the fact that I now was with Brax. I tried to push the dread away, bury it along with the horrible memories Kelsy had created from that night over a year ago. But on this day, it kept resurfacing. And the weight of my ring felt heavier on my finger than it had in a long time.
I’d just finished U.S. and Texas Government and was headed to the library to study when my cell phone vibrated in my bag. I stopped on the walkway, fished it out, and just seeing the name SOUTHIE on the screen wiped away my trepidation about Kelsy. I read the text and in no way could help the smile it put on my face.
BRAX: Hey gorgeous. Be out front of Oliver at six p.m.
ME: And why would I do that?
BRAX: Because u wouldn’t wanna miss the bad ass pitcher waitin for u on a sick bike that’s why.
ME: Ego.
BRAX: u like it
ME: yeah I kinda do
BRAX: u got a dress? Wear it if you do.
ME: u drive a motorcycle bone head.
BRAX: so? Bone head? That’s gonna cost ya Sunshine.
ME: that’s a weird request. But ok. Cost me? Not scared in the least. Anything else?
BRAX: Yeah. I can’t wait to c u
ME: Me too.
BRAX: l8tr beautiful
ME: sweet talker
BRAX: ☺
The smile still pulled at my mouth as I entered the cool interior of Winston’s massive library, and for the rest of the afternoon I poured over my notes for my first big test in Government in a small corner table in the history section. I loved the library and did most of my studying there. It was quiet. Peaceful. And there was just something about the smell of paper and books that set my mind free. By five p.m. I gathered my stuff and headed back to the dorm. Excitement fluttered through me as I pondered what Brax had up his sleeve for the evening. A dress? What in the world?
As I hit the front walk leading up to my dorm entrance, eyes followed me. Subtle at first, but soon I began noticing sets of eyeballs all over the place giving me the twice-over. Was this what Tessa referred to as epic? If so, I could handle it. They were probably just curious to see who Brax was now dating.
The thought skated through my mind that I was really just a novelty and he’d grow tired of me. He seemed so genuinely intrigued by everything I did, it was hard to imagine Brax was like that. Despite Tessa’s initial judgment of him, I’d grown to know him and although he had a healthy dose of arrogance and ego, he was as real as they came. Straight forward, no holding back. I just didn’t feel in my heart like he was leading me along just to get in my pants. He had his pick of a gazillion girls, on and off campus. So why bother with me unless he truly liked me. The thought made me feel so light on the inside, and my family crossed my mind. I couldn’t wait to introduce Brax to them. Jilly would no doubt put him through the ringer, but Brax could handle it.
I took the steps in the stairwell two at a time and hurried down the corridor to my room. I shoved the key in and opened the door to find Tessa sprawled on her bed, books opened all over the place. I threw her a skeptical look.
“Now this is something new,” I said, and dropped my pack to the floor. “What, did you find your parents installed a nanny cam or something to keep track of you?”
Tessa looked up from her studying and stuck out her tongue. “Very funny, chica.” Then her eyes scanned the room. Searching.
I laughed and went straight to my closet and started sorting through my clothes. I’d only brought two simple sundresses, just in case I decided to go to church or, I didn’t know. Something came up that wasn’t jeans-appropriate. Choosing the red floral shift, I tossed it on my bed.
“Where are you going?”
I peeked around my closet door. “I honestly don’t know. But I’m meeting Brax downstairs at six.”
“I still just can’t get over it,” Tessa huffed. “It’s not that I don’t think you’re gorgeous or worthy—you know that, right?”
I smiled. “Yes, I know that. No need to explain.” I grabbed a few under things and headed to the shower.
Tessa stopped me, and she set her pen down and sat up, sitting cross-legged on her bed. “What about your ring, Liv?” She nodded her head toward my finger. “Has sex even entered your conversations with Brax yet?”
Heat rushed to my neck. “No, it hasn’t.”
Tessa’s eyes bugged. “You mean not at all? He hasn’t even tried to—”
I gave an embarrassed laugh. “No, he hasn’t.”
“Okay,” she said, and gave me a stern look. “You remember all that stuff I told you about Brax in the beginning? It wasn’t all fable, my dear. Ask anyone. He’s used to sex and plenty of it.” She cocked her head. “That doesn’t worry you?”
I studied my roommate for a moment. We’d grown pretty close in the short time we’d known each other. I mean, living with her day in and day out, I felt I could trust her. Yet, just like with Brax, I still hadn’t divulged my secret to her. Was I making more of it than I should?
“Do you think of ha**g s*x with him?” she asked.
Now my face flamed. “God, Tessa,” I said.
“Well? Have you?” she continued.
“Yes. Yes, I have considered it. At length. And all I can say is,” I shrugged, “if it happens, it happens. Right now I don’t feel pressured.” I looked at her. “Not at all.”
“Then you got nerves of steel, chica, because I’ve seen the way he kisses you,” she shook her head and fanned her face. “Hot, mamacita. Sincerely.”
I laughed lightly. “Yeah. That is true.”
“What about your vow?”
I sighed, my finger twirling the familiar silver band. Should I tell Tessa? I wanted to, but the words wouldn’t come. I sighed. “All I know is he makes me feel special, Tessa. I’ve never felt this way before. Ever.” I shrugged. “I didn’t pledge to become a nun. It’s a pledge of choice. My choice. And he’s not pressuring me. If our relationship evolves in that direction, I’ll face it then. With Brax.”
“What if he can’t hold out?” Tessa asked.
The thought made my insides ache. “Well,” I gave her a light smile. “Then I’ll know I did the right thing by waiting.”
A gentleness settled into Tessa’s large brown eyes, and she gave a slight nod. “You are one tough woman, Olivia Beaumont. I truly admire you.” She squinched her brows together. “But if that fucker breaks your heart his ass is grass!”
I laughed at Tessa as I jumped in the shower. It felt good to have her on my team, even though it was a little early to say my heart was truly invested. Funny, I hadn’t wanted a relationship. It sort of just … happened. Unavoidable as breathing. Fifteen minutes later I stepped out, wrapped in a towel, brushed my teeth, and applied lotion. I slipped the sleeveless red floral shift with buttons down the front over my head, and it dropped to just at my knees. I padded out to my side of the room, grabbed my sandals, and sat on the bed. I looked at my legs with dread.
“What’s that face for?” Tessa asked.
I shook my head as I applied lotion. “My legs are so beat up.”
“How come?”
I looked at her and sighed. “It’s what happens in a horse pen, Tess. They’ve taken a beating with me getting flung all over the place.”
She waved a hand at me. “They look fine, chica. Disgustingly gorgeous, actually. No worries.”
I pulled on my sandals, rebraided my hair, and grabbed my bag. “Thanks. I’ll see ya later?”
“I’ll be here.”
With excitement pinging inside of me, I headed downstairs to meet Brax.
14. Daydream Believer
Twenty minutes passed with no sign or word from Brax. I’d settled on the edge of the walkway, but the concrete was hard to sit on for long. I finally stood, stretched and started pacing along the concrete that skirted Oliver Hall. The sun had dropped beneath the horizon, but it was not yet dark outside. Just that strange hazy gloom that fell between afternoon and dusk, complimenting a sky streaked lavender and ginger. It was peaceful out, with very few students mingling between the dorms. A breeze lifted the curls at my neck and I inhaled, and continued to walk. I’d made it almost to the opposite side of the dorm when I stopped and scanned the parking lot. It wasn’t like Brax to be late. For anything. Something must be holding him up—
“Liv? Now don’t run off,” Kelsy’s deep voice startled me from behind, and I whirled around to face him. He stood there, hands up, palms facing me. “I just want to talk, swear to God.”
I kept my distance and my eyes on him. “Just walk away, Kelsy. There’s nothing to talk about.” I searched for the easiest escape, and neither appealed me. The dorm entrance was further away than my truck. Escape? Why did I feel the urge to run? He wasn’t going to attack me, for God’s sake. Still, he made me uncomfortable. I cast a quick glance around the darkening parking lot. Mostly empty.
A low laugh came from his throat, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. His head tilted toward me. “Nothin’ to talk about? There’s plenty, Liv. Don’t shut me out.” He took a few steps toward me. “Not again.”
Anger pulled at my insides. “Again? What’s wrong with you? Did our entire senior year conveniently exit your memory, Kelsy?”
He moved closer still, and I really had nowhere else to go except my truck. Run from him? I wasn’t a coward, dammit. I wasn’t. So I anchored my feet to the sidewalk.
“That’s in the past,” Kelsy crooned. “C’mon, Liv.” He reached for me, close enough to grasp my bare shoulder. “God, look at you. That dress? You’re so damn pretty. Liv, it’s me. We’ve known each other since the fourth grade. High school was just high school. Stupid kid stuff. And I made a mistake.” He grasped my other shoulder, dug his fingers into my skin and looked down at me. “This is a new start. A different life.” A grin moved over his face. “We’re grown now. All that other shit’s forgotten.” He tugged at my shoulders, pulling me unwillingly against his chest. His arms enveloped me. “C’mon, baby. Truce?”
I jerked back out of his grip. My brain spun out of control. Honestly, I couldn’t do anything more than stare at him like he’d lost his damn mind. “That shit you’ve so easily forgotten about and shoved in the past almost ruined my life, Kelsy.” My voice was husky, insulted, quiet, and it shook. I could hear it. Fear pinged inside of me, and I pushed it as far back into my inner shadows as I could. Had Kelsy gone crazy? How had he forgotten all the torment? Humiliation? Did he think he could easily dispose of the memories like he had his actions? The thought angered me to a fever, and I began to shake. With the palm of my hand, I pushed against his chest. Hard. “And finally, I’m starting to get on with my life. I’m not going to tell you again, Kelsy. It’s over. Long over. Leave me alone, before it becomes an issue even your daddy can’t control. I mean it.” Satisfied that I’d made my point, I turned, scanned the darkening parking lot, and just headed to my truck. I wanted to get away from Kelsy. Period. Even if I had to just make a loop around campus. With my hand inside my bag, I fished for my keys as I hurried across the lot. Just as I reached the hood, I found my key. Where was Brax—
My arm was grabbed and Kelsy spun me around, pinning my back against the fender. I let out a grunt on impact, and my keys went flying and pinged against the concrete. He leaned forward, his body towering over mine. “Don’t you walk away from me, girl.” His voice was harsh. Painful. Guilty. His hair stuck to his sweaty forehead. His eyes flashed angrily. “You don’t get to do that here. There ain’t no reason why you can’t hear me out, Olivia. I’m trying to be nice and civil and you’re acting all disrespectful and bitchy.” His head dipped toward mine, to look me in the eye, and panic dragged its claws against my insides. “I mean it, goddamit. Listen to me. I’ve told you a dozen fuckin’ times I’m sorry for that night.” His strong fingers grasped my chin and made me look at him. “Why can’t you at least fuckin’ acknowledge my apology, Liv?” When I did nothing but stare at him, his face darkened. “Why can’t you just leave the past in the f**king past? Huh? Answer me, dammit.” He slammed his fist against my fender, right next to me, and I jumped and squeezed my eyes shut. “I watch you in class every day, all lovely f**king dovey with that tattooed punk ass. It ain’t right. Swear to God, I can’t take this shit no more, Liv. I mean it—”