Burying her face in her hands, Allison said, “Rhys, I meant it. Leave. Now!”
“I can’t. Not until you hear me out. I owe you at least that much.”
Allison jerked her head up and glared icily at me. “Here, let me help you then.” With all the strength she had in her, she shoved me toward the door. “Get out!”
“Why won’t you listen to me? I can’t leave you right now because I need you too much. And I can’t let you leave me.”
Her eyelids fluttered as she blinked rapidly. “What?”
“I’m sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry that I lied when I said I didn’t care about you. Most of all, I’m sorry for ever causing you so much pain.” I ran my hand nervously through my hair. “This afternoon after I left you in Jake and Abby’s suite, I did some serious soul-searching.” I thought it was best to leave out the part with Sierra at the moment. “Finally, it hit me like a f**king epiphany, and it was like I saw everything clearly for the first time.” Reaching for her hand, I took it in mine and squeezed. “I’ve been lying to you about my feelings, but most of all, I’ve been lying to myself.”
“Rhys, I—” she began.
I shook my head. “Please. Just listen.” I brought her hand to my lips and kissed it gently. “Hear me when I say that I’ve fallen for you, Allison Slater—heart, soul, and body. That I probably first felt something for you when you were just sixteen—the night I kissed you for the first time. Something changed within me that night—like fate was giving me a preview of things to come. But like everything else with you, I chose to ignore it. Then I came to see you in Savannah, and while I just wanted to believe we were having fun like friends would, the truth was there all along, just waiting beneath the surface to be revealed. And then when the truth was revealed, I got scared, and like a f**king coward, I drove you away and then I ran. That was an ass**le move, and I’m sorry. All the while I knew that I cared very deeply for you. I always have. When it came time to see you again for the tour, I, again, convinced myself it would be better off to be friends, to forget that wonderful night of mind blowing sex had ever happened.”
I couldn’t help smiling when red tinged her cheeks from my mentioning the sex. “But it wasn’t just the pleasure of being buried deep inside you or the way your soft skin felt like velvet against mine or the sweet as honey way you tasted on my lips. It was the fact I was making love for the first time—to someone I deeply cared about who was a best friend. A soul mate even. There was no better feeling in the world for me than when I held you in my arms and finally allowed myself to let go. ”
While Allison’s eyes bulged at my profession, I wasn’t finished yet. “During those two weeks in Savannah, I grew to love you more and more. You made me feel important…like I really mattered. And despite all my bullshit hang-ups, you wanted to be with me. I know that after the way I’ve treated you, I don’t deserve a second chance. I callously pushed you too far and for too long, and I regret my f**king abhorrent behavior. But I would give anything in the world if you would let me prove that I’m worthy of you. That I’m not worthless and that I can do right by you.”
Allison’s dark eyes widened at my words. “You really mean that? No more just being friends or ignoring how good we can be together?”
I shook my head. “No, never again.”
“What about Jake?”
With a shrug, I replied, “Well, he’ll just have to deal with it.”
“Really?” she asked, incredulously.
“Yes, really.”
“I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’re standing in front of me right now, telling me this.”
“Believe it, Allison, because every word I say is the truth. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy and trying to make up for hurting you so much.”
Her lip trembled. “I want to believe you—I really do—it’s just I’m scared.” She hiccupped a sob. “You gutted me, Rhys. You shattered my heart so deeply that I don’t know if I can love you again. I ache, Rhys. I ache inside so bad.”
Desperation filled me. I hadn’t planned for this. I thought I could just apologize and everything would be all right. I’d been a damned fool. “What can I do to change your mind?”
“Give me time.” She wiped her eyes. “Let’s take things slow. As much as I want to, I can’t just run back into your arms today because you said some nice things. I need actions this time. Changed and consistent behavior—no more whiplash from your emotions.”
“Then I’ll give you actions—I’ll give you anything in the world. Somehow and someway I’ll prove to you that I’m the right man for you.”
“Oh Rhys,” she murmured before she threw her arms around my neck. Closing my eyes, I reveled in the feel of her pressed against me. She felt so warm, so soft, and so comforting. Her body was like home—the first one I’d ever truly had. God, this felt so right. This felt so complete—I felt so complete.
Tears stung my eyes when I realized how stupid I’d been and how close I’d come to losing her. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I murmured over and over in her ear.
When her hand came to rub wide circles across my back, I lost it. The fact that she could still show me compassion and care after all I’d done to hurt her was too much. I sank to my knees under the strain of the emotions. Although I was mortified at my behavior, I couldn’t help it.
“Rhys?” Allison questioned, her voice ringing with concern.
“Fucking hell, I’ve been so stupid for so long,” I moaned, my head pitching forward onto the floor. The harsh carpet fibers scratched along my cheeks, and I welcomed the pain.
I felt Allison kneel down beside me. “Oh Rhys, it’s okay…it’s going to be okay.”
Raising my head up, I stared into her beautiful face. When it came down to it, I couldn’t believe such a sweet spirit like Allison actually cared for me…loved me even. “I think about how much I hurt you…” My eyes closed in agony. “You shouldn’t forgive me, Allison.”
Her tender hands cupped my face. “You let me decide about that one.”
“You’re too good to me,” I argued.
“I know,” she said, a teasing grin lighting up her features.