“Okay. You know what’s best.” He paused for a minute, then smiled. “So does this mean if I’m kicking back and having a good time, you won’t ask me questions?”
She laughed. “Nice try. And no. It doesn’t work that way, since you’re the reason I’m here.”
“Well, it is all about me.”
Now she rolled her eyes. “Modest as always.”
“You know me so well.”
“Actually, there’s a lot more I need to know about you.”
“For the story.”
She wanted to know more about his past. Yes, for the interview, but also because she was curious about him—about his past, and how he came to be. “What if I said my reasons were personal?”
He laughed. “I wouldn’t believe you.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Why not? Is it so hard to believe I want to know more about you because I care about you?” He didn’t answer her for a few seconds, then he turned to look at her. “We’re just having fun here, Haven, right?”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You and me. Nothing serious, right?”
His words stung. They shouldn’t have, but they did. She should have known better than to open herself up to getting hurt. But a simple question and she’d done that.
She hid that sting behind a casual smile. “Of course. You have two careers that keep you more than busy. I have a new career that will have me traveling everywhere. Neither one of us is looking for a romantic relationship. Like you said, we’re just having fun here, Trevor. And when this interview is over, I’m walking away.”
He looked at her, and for the life of her she couldn’t fathom what she saw behind his eyes. She wished it weren’t so dark outside.
“Right. That’s exactly what I want, too.”
She got up and grabbed a towel to dry her feet and legs. “I’m glad we both want the same thing. I’d hate for there to be anything awkward—you know—when this is over.”
He looked over his shoulder. “Where are you going?”
“It was a super busy day and I’m kind of tired tonight. I’m going to head up to bed.”
His lips curved. “My bed, I hope.”
She paused. “Actually, I have a few hours of writing to do on the interview. I could use some quiet time, so I can get through this as quickly as possible. I think I’m going to close myself up in the guest room tonight. I hope you don’t mind.”
He gave her a curious look. “Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay.” In her best this-is-all-just-casual-between-us voice, she said, “See you tomorrow, Trevor.”
She hurried upstairs, closed the door, and leaned against it, trying to calm her rapid pulse.
Stupid. She was so stupid.
She had fallen in love with him.
Again.
And it was totally, utterly one-sided.
Again.
When will you ever get smart, Haven?
He will never love you.
TREVOR HAD NO IDEA WHY HE’D SAID WHAT HE’D SAID to Haven.
Correction. He knew exactly why he’d pushed her away.
She’d said she cared.
He couldn’t afford to let a woman—to let Haven—get close enough to care about him.
Because she wanted to know more about him, which meant exploring his past. And that meant exposing secrets—secrets he wasn’t ready to trust anyone with.
Or was he ready?
No. He couldn’t. Just the thought of it . . . what she might think if he told her . . .
She wouldn’t understand. She’d think less of him. Or even worse, she’d try to help, and no one could help him, because no one could know.
He took a long swallow of his beer and rolled the bottle around in his hands.
The problem was, she wasn’t the only one who cared. He’d gotten used to having her in his life. In his house. He missed her when she wasn’t around. He loved having her body next to his at night. He enjoyed her laugh, her sense of humor, her counsel. He’d grown closer to Haven than any other woman in his life before.
Was that love? He didn’t know.
Maybe it was, because when he thought about her, everything inside him tightened with lust, with emotion, with a sense that if he didn’t have her next to him all the time, something was missing.
But still, he kept a part of himself removed from her.
He couldn’t tell her about that part. It would change her feelings for him.
And that meant there could be no relationship, which was why he’d spent all these years alone.