She squirmed. ‘Well… maybe not very much?’
‘So you want to marry him just a little, do you? Maybe just his ring finger and his left foot, and the rest of him can stay a bachelor?’
Ella suddenly seemed to have an intense desire to inspect her feet. She looked down, avoiding my eyes.
‘Um… if you put it that way… no. I don't think I do.’
‘And what about the rest of him?’
She made a minute movement. Among immovable pillars of salt, it might have passed for a headshake.
‘Say it,’ I encouraged her. ‘Do you want to marry Wilkins?’
‘N… n…’
‘Go on! You can do it! Do you want to marry him?’
‘No!’
‘Bravo!’ I rubbed my hands, grinning from ear to ear. ‘Excellent!’
‘Excellent?’ Ella looked up at me, desperation in her face ‘What’s excellent about it? Aunt Brank wants me to marry him!’
‘I mean it’s excellent you have admitted it to yourself. You normally don't do that. It’s the first step to problem-solving.’
‘Err… and the next one is?’
I waved my hand dismissively. ‘We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Just at the moment you look like you need something to restore your nerves.’
‘To be absolutely honest… I think that’s true.’
‘Well then, my dear little sister…’ I put an arm around her and steered her from behind the potted plant. I already felt better. It had always been that way for me. When I was busy solving Ella’s problems, my own suddenly didn’t seem as important any more. ‘I have just the thing for you. It’s called solid chocolate. Let’s see how you like it, shall we?’
Ella accompanied me willingly. We were about half the way towards the refreshment tables when somebody roughly grabbed me by the arm and whirled me around. When I saw who it was, I gasped in surprise.
‘There you are, strange lady!’
‘Patsy!’ I exclaimed, and then was swept up in a vice-like hug, ten times more forceful than my aunt’s had been. With complete disregard for our hoop skirts, which should have kept us at a respectful distance, Patsy crushed me to her, and from the region of my legs, I heard whalebones[38] groan and crunch.
‘Patsy,’ I gasped again, pushing her back and looking at her solid figure, her broad, gruff, oh-so-reliable face. For the moment all dark thoughts about Mr Ambrose were forgotten. ‘Is it really you? What are you doing here? How did you manage to get invited? I thought old Lady Metcalf can’t stand you and your modern ways!’
Patsy grinned.
‘Well, she can’t, actually, but she is an old friend of my mother’s and has to pretend to like me. More to the point, what are you doing here?’
‘Well you know how my aunt is, she always drags me to balls…’
‘Not here at the ball, silly! I mean what are you doing here in London, here in England even? I thought you had emigrated to Timbuktu or something! I haven’t seen you in ages! And don't tell me you’ve been driving around the park presenting yourself to the eyes of eligible bachelors. I know that’s what you’ve told your aunt, because I came by your house to visit when you were out. But I and the other girls have been in the park often enough and haven’t seen hide nor hair of you! What are you up to?’
I bit my lip.
Hell’s Whiskers, what to tell her?
I couldn’t tell her that I was working for a living, could I? Not that Patsy would have anything against it. On the contrary. I was certain she would wholeheartedly approve. But if I told her about my work, I would also have to tell her about Mr Ambrose. And for some reason I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t want to do that at all.
I opened my mouth, not knowing what I was going to say. Maybe a clever explanation would have come to me at the last moment. Yet before I could say anything, the decision was taken out of my hand by a very simple, very common event:
Beside me, Ella blushed.
‘Aha!’
Patsy pounced on her.
‘You know something, don't you? Out with it, Ella! Go on!’
Ella’s eyes flickered from side to side like those of a frightened deer. I sighed. Ella was no liar, and under the unconquerable force that was Patsy Cusack, only one result could ensue.
‘Lilly, um… Lilly is…’
‘Yes…?’ Patsy encouraged.
‘Lilly is seeing somebody. But don't tell anybody. It’s supposed to be a secret.’
‘Yes, a secret,’ I confirmed throwing a dirty look at her. ‘That’s why I asked you to keep it secret, by which I meant not tell it to anybody.’
With those adorable blue damsel-in-distress eyes of hers she threw me an apologetic glance. ‘I’m… I’m sorry Lilly, I just can’t… can’t lie about…’
My anger was snuffed out like a candle flame under a wet towel. Nobody could stay angry at Ella. Not even the chief of avenging angels.
‘All right,’ I grumbled with a shrug. It was to be expected. And it wasn’t like it had been the truth in the first place.
Turning my attention away from my little sister, I scrutinised Patsy. She hadn’t yet said a word in response to Ella’s disclosure. Her mouth stood slightly open, her lips were moving without producing any sound, and her eyes were unfocused. She looked like she had tried solving a complex mathematical equation and had ended up with 1009 = 0.
‘Seeing somebody?’ she echoed. ‘As in… a member of the opposite sex? A man?’
‘No, a hippopotamus,’ I snapped. ‘Yes, a man! What did you think?’
‘Frankly, I would have thought a hippopotamus would have been more likely!’
My fingers flexed. ‘Do you want me to clobber you with my fan?’
‘No need to get violent. I’m just shocked.’ She shook her head, dazed. ‘A man. Fancy that. Lilly Linton going over to the enemy.’
Reflexively, my chin shot out. ‘I’m not “going over to the enemy”!’
‘Really? Hasn’t your sweetheart asked you to shed your extremist political views about voting, working women yet? It'll happen, just you wait. And next you’ll get all silly and soppy and start knitting and sewing and saying that a lady’s proper place is inside the home.’