His left little finger twitched. I had noticed this was his way of demonstrating extreme annoyance - the way someone else might scowl or curse at you. ‘Hmm. I suppose. It will be unavoidable for what I have in mind.’
Oh yes, I’m sure it’s very inconvenient to one as mighty as yourself that you can’t just order a woman to marry you. You actually have to spend time with her first! How terrible!
Really, I should be feeling pity for this poor creature who would fall into the trap of marrying this man. A great deal of pity.
So why the bloody hell did I feel so angry instead?
He looked down at me sharply, the first time during the dance he had given me his full, undivided attention.
‘How do you know I will be spending more time at social events?’ His finger twitched again. ‘You cannot have… No, you simply cannot have guessed my plans!’
Oh dear. He was just as self-centred as all other men. He couldn’t hope to rival a woman’s intuition.
‘Actually, I think I have,’ I said as sweetly as possible.
He looked up again, staring at Miss Hamilton and Lord Dalgliesh, who were still engaged in conversation.
‘I must say I’m surprised, Miss Linton. I didn’t think you would figure it out so quickly. In fact, I didn’t think anybody could figure it out on their own.’
I had to work hard to conceal a snort.
Please! With your staring at her the entire time? What sort of silly guffin do you take me for?
‘I think it is pretty obvious,’ I retorted, my tone not a bit sarcastic. Honest, maybe, but not a bit sarcastic,
‘Indeed? Well, if I were you, Miss Linton, I’d keep what you know to yourself. If it comes out that you know, you will be in terrible danger. You might end up with a knife between your ribs.’
My eyebrows shot up. ‘That’s going a bit far, don't you think?’ A derisive snort escaped me. ‘She can’t be that jealous.’
‘She?’ Abruptly, he stopped turning. The neighbouring couples almost crashed into us, and only because I stirred him into motion again was a collision avoided. ‘She? What are you talking about, Miss Linton?’
‘Your…’ I swallowed. For some reason it was hard to say out loud. Avoiding his eyes helped, so I looked down. ‘Your romantic interest in Miss Hamilton, of course.’ A frown crept onto my face. ‘What were you talking about?’
He didn’t answer me at first. Looking up, I saw that his beautiful statue’s face was even more emotionless than usual. Whereas normally it just looked stony, now it looked completely vacant. He looked as if he was readjusting the gears of his brain.
‘Well…’ He cleared his throat. ‘I was talking of my interest in Miss Hamilton, of course. You’re right. I am very romantically interested. Indeed you could say, pining with love for her. That would be a very accurate description of the situation.’
‘I see,’ I mumbled, looking down again, so I didn’t have to look at his chiselled face anymore. For some reason my eyes started stinging. ‘What was it that caught your fancy? Her figure? Her eyes?’
‘Her eyes. And her figure, too. And her dress, her manners, and her… well, she does not have anything more to catch fancies with, but all that she does have is very fancy-catching. You could say that I have passionately fallen in love with the entirety of her, not just the individual components.’
‘But you like her eyes.’
‘Yes, indeed.’
‘What is so special about them?’ I demanded to know, still not daring to look up. I had a suspicion why my eyes were stinging, and if it was correct I wanted nothing less than for him to see my face right now. ‘I saw nothing extraordinary about them!’
He cleared his throat again. ‘Well… they look very… very ocular, for one thing.’
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
‘Pardon?’
‘This word, “ocular”. What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘It is Latin. It is a word denoting everything that refers to eyes.’
‘So… what you’re in fact saying is that what’s special about her eyes is that they look very much like eyes.’
Now I simply had to stare up at him suspiciously. He wouldn’t see my face anyway. He would still be staring at her.
I was right. He was. His gaze was still firmly fixed on the lady and Lord Dalgliesh.
‘Her nose is very lovely, too,’ he added, sounding more like a salesman at the London market praising a fish of whose freshness he wasn’t convinced than like a passionate lover. Maybe he always sounded like that when he was in love. If so, God have mercy on any poor creature who ever developed real, deep feelings for him! Not that something like that was ever likely to happen.
‘Does it, Sir?’
‘Yes, indeed, her nose has many excellent features. It is straight, not overly long or crooked like those of some other ladies in the ballroom; it has two holes at the bottom, and there is no hair growing out of them. Her teeth are adequate, too - none missing or falling out. I checked. You should always check the teeth first.’
‘I believe that’s when you’re buying a horse, not when you’re looking for a prospective bride,’ I pointed out.
‘Indeed? Well, it certainly cannot hurt to check. In any case, what all this boils down to is that I am in love with Miss Hamilton. Passionately in love.’
‘Yes.’ I bit my lip. ‘You already mentioned that.’
‘And that’s the only reason I came to this ball. To spend time with the woman I am passionately in love with. There was no other motivation.’
Still he wouldn’t even look at me. His words were like sharp pinpricks. I knew they shouldn’t hurt, but they did. With all my might, I avoided looking up into his dark, sea-coloured eyes, staring at the floor instead.
‘Yes, Sir. I understand.’
The dance ended just at that moment, and I had never been so happy about the end of a dance in my life. For once I had no desire to hound him about the contents of the file, or demand equal treatment with men, or do anything else. All I wanted was to be far away from him.
I am in love with Miss Hamilton. Passionately in love.
His words echoed in my head again and again, refusing to leave me alone. The moment he released me from his grip, I stepped back, not wanting him to touch or hold me any longer. I just managed a brief curtsy, then I turned and ran away through the crowd, wishing that in this ballroom there was just one quiet corner where I could hide!