How she began scripting the plot of my downfall even before we settled down in Seattle. What for her unending tele-talks with him, feigning depression, that too at our bedtime. Wouldn’t have that whore known that sex is ninety-percent mental? How the devil planned to fail our sex-life as a prelude to wrecking our marriage! Weren’t her life-long sacrifices for him and his disregard for her undivided attention the recurring themes of her emotional blackmail? What cunning to pepper her talks with how she loved me being his beloved? Oh, how all that infused a guilt feeling in him leading to a sense of alienation from me?
What about dad, didn’t he willy-nilly strain our tenuous union; how he used to pester Rahul to invest in India’s booming real estate? Wasn’t his offer to advance monies meant to preempt any excuses? How Rahul could’ve refused that without raising my hackles? What an irony that the acceptance entailed a price to be paid! Won’t decency demand that I should own what was bought, at least till he repaid the loan. What else he could’ve done than to let dad have his way? Why did dad go on an acquisition spree that tended to squeeze our resources? Was he eager to uplift his son-in-law’s status in his own circles or did he intend to secure my financial future post-divorce, or worse, was it him aim to preempt Rahul from providing to his parents? Isn’t it stupid in every way, well, but he did dig the grave for that bitch to bury our marriage, so it seems.
If only Rahul hadn’t asked the devil to come and sup with us in the U.S. Being a mom-boy how could he have negated her request to rest and recreate in his shade? Though my sixth sense warned me of the impending trouble, could I have put my foot down without looking cussed? How fatal it proved to be as the whore poisoned his mind and undermined my love! How she took him under her spell to sound the death knell for our marriage! Oh, the way she weaned him away from me, lo, did the bitch master black magic to become a witch as well! Why didn’t Shruti tell me about his mom-sickness, shouldn’t she have, being frank and forthright althrough? Maybe, it was my fate that faltered her at full disclosure, where it really mattered.
Am I not into a blaming game? How does it help me in anyway? Why not I better self-introspect? It’s as if I perched my life on a hollow branch, didn’t I? Weren’t my spending sprees getting on his strain nerves? How can I put it on papa for letting me become a spendthrift? Shouldn’t I have adapted myself to my new situation, and even behaved better. But what about dad’s indents for settling the outstanding, wonder how Rahul didn’t call it quits much before! Why did I limit my alacrity only to the bedroom? When it came to the kitchen, wasn’t I plain lazy? How does it help blaming mom for pampering me? Didn’t I know Rahul loves all those spicy Andhra recipes? Yet I left him to fend for himself with his self-prepared stuff or McDonald’s hamburgers! Didn’t I know he cooks for nuts? Was it any justification that I wasn’t particular about the food I eat? What else it was but sheer callousness? That too, when he was so caring to cater to all my needs, why not I admit my fancies? Why did I let my lethargy become the Achilles heel of our marriage for that witch to push through ‘doubts of duty’ into Rahul’s mind? How she took over the kitchen as a prelude to leading him out of my home, and life as well!