Another wave of relief flew over me.
She stepped out and I slid my jeans on with the blanket over me.
“So,” Jess asked.
“So what?” I asked.
“When are you going to tell him?” she asked. “You said it would be after this appointment.”
“I-”
“He needs to know,” she said. It was so matter of fact that I almost bit my own tongue. “You can’t just keep this from him. Seriously. Hiding a secret baby? What are you going to do? Move out of town to raise it? Or stick a mustache on it and pretend it isn’t your child?” she chuckled and I thought about the imagery.
A little tiny baby with a sticker mustache could be adorable.
I laughed, but then I thought about it. She was right. He did need to know. But I was too angry to say a word to him. I couldn’t. Not yet. I was going through a litany of excuses in my mind, searching for anything that I could to get out of telling him. Anything I could to convince her that I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready to talk to him.
But nothing was going to work. I knew it and so did she.
I looked down at my phone and reread the text that I’d already looked over a dozen times.
I want to meet you. We need to talk. - Rose
We need to talk. Those words were never good. I didn’t know if we had a relationship or some semblance of one, but I knew those words were the death of anything we had.
She wanted to talk to me just so she could break my damn heart all over again. Well I wasn’t having it. Not tonight.
I’d drink myself into a damn stupor and pretend she didn’t exist. Pretend it wasn’t going to happen.
Old dogs, right? We never do learn new tricks. Fuck it. Fuck it all.
I gripped the handle of the pool hall and opened it wide as I walked in and headed straight to the bar. Yeah, I was going right into her best friend’s home turf and drinking in front of half the town. They’d all see me. They’d all know.
When I do self-sabotage I do it up right. I’m just like my dad in that regard. Hell, I might as well be like him in every single way. Couldn’t keep a woman, but I was good at business. Good at blowing my money, and I intended to do a lot of that tonight.
“What’ll you have?” Brandon asked as I leaned against the counter. I stood there for a second and looked at what he had top shelf and all.
It was shit. But I didn’t give a fuck. It wasn’t about the brand or the expensive of it. I just wanted to get wasted and forget about her.
Forget about how she tore me into pieces twice.
“Fuck man, get me your best rot-got whiskey.” I sat on the stool and looked around. I could hustle some guys at pool, but they all knew me, all new my style. I didn’t see any out of towners. None of these assholes would be a good target.
I looked at the jukebox. Maybe play some music, play some pool alone.
I didn’t even consider the women. I wasn’t ready to go down that route. Not yet. I’d wait until she officially dumped my ass, then I was going to go on a tear. Show her what she missed.
“Here you go, man.” He said as he put the glass on the bar.
“Leave the bottle,” I said.
“Rough night?” he asked.
I shrugged. I’d never been friends with Brandon. Jess, she was a good kid. Always been friendly, but I barely knew him. Still, I tried hard to be friendly with him.
Hell, might as well strike up a friendship with the guy.
“I hear you man, the woman is driving me crazy.Wedding plans and all that shit. I guess you’ll be going through that soon enough.”
“A wedding?” I said as I downed the drink and started pouring myself another. “What do you mean?”
“Well, you know. I figured with the baby and everything you were going to ask her to marry you,” Brandon explained.
“Baby? What the fuck are you talking about? What baby?” I said. I could see him backing up but he wasn’t going to get away that easily.
“Shit. I thought you were here because she told you. You look like a man who just got told. Uh, shit. Fuck. This was one of those times I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“It was, but now that you’ve opened it you have to explain,” I growled. I wasn’t a mean son of a bitch, but I could be. I could be if I had to. And right now I was on the edge. It wasn’t my way, I was the playboy, the idiot savant, but when it came to Rose I could be a whole lot of things I wasn’t.
“Rose, she’s pregnant,” he squeaked out.
“You’re ol’ lady is going to kick your ass,” his father said from behind him as he cleaned out a glass.
He was right. He was going to get it handed to him, but that wasn’t my problem. Rose was my problem and it was something I had to address.