Her soft laugh and the way she gently squeezed my neck tugged at my heart. “Well, maybe you shouldn’t drink then.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t.” If I had it my way, Harper and I wouldn’t be standing in this room right now, we wouldn’t be pressed against each other. I would just be her roommate’s brother who pisses her off. But when it came to this girl, I was no longer in control of anything. She consumed me in every way possible. My brain was telling me to run from her, to keep her safe, to keep her from someone like me, but she had my heart completely, and that was winning out. I wanted her, I wanted her to want me and only me. Not Brandon even though I knew he was the better choice for her. But that just didn’t matter to me at that moment; all I cared about was the fact that one of my best friends was winning over the only girl that would ever mean anything to me. “Why him, Harper?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why Brandon? You’d never been kissed, why’d you choose him to change that?”
“Why not Brandon?”
I snorted. Because I’m right freakin’ here wanting nothing more than to love you forever.
“Why does that bother you so much, Chase?”
“Because you deserve someone who realizes how amazing you are. You shouldn’t have just let the first guy who gave you the time of day kiss you.”
“You’re acting like I gave him everything, and all we’ve done is kiss! And who are you to judge who I do and do not kiss?”
She’d removed herself from my arms and went to sit on the bed; that was too far for me. I just followed her and put my hands on each side of her as I rested my forehead against hers again. “Please don’t. Don’t give him everything. He doesn’t deserve you, Harper.”
“And who does, Chase . . . you?”
God, why did she have to talk all soft and breathy like that? Why did her chest have to rise and fall so quickly; I knew I just had to say the word, and I could make her mine. Say it. Say it, you stupid bastard! I squeezed my eyes shut and let my head fall from hers. “No. I don’t deserve you either. You need someone who will cherish you, protect you, and take care of you. Someone that realizes they’d never be able to find another you in the world, no matter how hard they looked.” I looked back into her soft gray eyes and continued to fight with myself on taking what I needed and giving her what she needed. Without thinking about it, I leaned in close until I could feel her breath against my lips; I would have given anything to kiss her. Just as I started to close the already minimal space between us, her voice stopped me and snapped me back to my reality.
“Chase . . .”
“That first night, I did realize I would never meet another girl like you. But you deserve someone who has waited for you as long as you have waited for them. And no matter how much I wish I could be that guy, I can’t, Harper.” I leaned back, and she collapsed onto the bed with a hard sigh. I couldn’t stop myself then, and I leaned over her and kissed her soft throat. That was all I could allow myself. “You’re amazing, Harper. There will never be anyone good enough for you.”
I started to stand up again when her hands were in my hair and holding my head just inches from hers. Her breathing was heavy, and I knew mine matched it. I waited to see what she would do, but as I waited, her eyes told me everything her lips weren’t. Her indecision, her worry. Good girl. Smart girl. She’d kiss Brandon without a second thought but couldn’t bring herself to kiss me without already feeling the fear of what a guy like me would do to her. Though she was making the better decision for her, it didn’t crush me any less; and I knew if she rejected me, it would kill me. So I stopped it before she could. I let my nose trail up the inside of her forearm as I took in her subtle vanilla scent and kissed her wrist before removing her hands and walking out the door. I rubbed at the ache in my chest and shook my head as I went to crash on Brad’s floor for a couple hours before work. That guy Bree had brought with her last night had been standing with her when I walked in, which meant I’d have to buy new sheets a-freakin’-gain before I could sleep on my bed. If I didn’t bring girls in my room, she had to stop bringing guys.
“CHASE”—MY BODY ROCKED to the side once, and I groaned as it flopped back down—“get up. Your phone’s going off.”
“Breanna. Go. Away.”
A tiny foot jammed into my ribs, and I grunted hard. Bitch. “Fine, miss work, but don’t act like I didn’t try to help you out.”
Aw hell. I rolled over and yawned as she dropped my phone on my stomach. “I’m up. How’d you have my phone?”
“Fell out of your pocket when Brandon punched you in your room. I turned the alarm off, but you better get up.”
“Okay, Mom.” I snickered as I stood and hugged her loosely. “Gonna take a shower before I head out. If anything happens to you or Harper tonight, you call me, and I’ll come back.”
“Pft. I can handle myself, and Harper’s got a date tonight.”
My body went rigid.
“Oh, and Harper’s just about to get in your shower to get ready for it, so use Brad’s,” she called over her shoulder as she left Brad’s room.
She was going on a date with him? Not like I expected anything else—okay, that’s a lie, yes I did. I still half expected her to realize she felt the same way for me that I felt for her and leave Brandon to find someone else. Anyone else. I hurried through my shower, got dressed, and paced the floor of my room for all of two minutes before I couldn’t wait any longer. I found the key sitting on my desk and went to my bathroom. The shower was still running, and I swear, my pants got smaller. I went over to sit on top of the toilet seat as her shaky voice filled the small bathroom.