Wes leaned against the shower wall, his forehead against it and Braden’s against the back of his head, as they came down from their high.
“Was that good enough?” Braden finally asked with a laugh.
“Yeah...yeah, it was.”
***
Wes sat at the kitchen table with Jessie that evening. They’d gotten pizza because it was her favorite, and were drinking hot chocolate while playing Memory.
His stomach was in knots, which he had to admit was a little ridiculous. He was nervous about talking to Jessie about this. The last thing he wanted was to screw up with her, to do the wrong thing or to make her feel like he was taking more away from her than she already lost. But then...she liked Braden, too. She would love to spend a holiday with him. The idea of getting away made his chest feel light.
But then those damn nerves hit again because this was big. He’d never met a man’s family except for Alexander, and he hadn’t planned to do it again.
“Hey, Jess? What would you think of going with Braden for a few days over Christmas?”
She looked up at him. “With you?”
“Of course, sweetheart. I’ll be there, too. And Braden’s family. He has lots of nieces and nephews you could play with.”
Her little eyes lit up at that. “But what about Santa? Will he know where I am?”
Ah, of course. It always came back to Santa, didn’t it? “Of course. He knows everything.”
“Will aunt Lydia come, too?” she asked. Wes shook his head.
“No. She’ll stay here. And if you want, we’ll stay here, too. It’s all up to you.”
“I wanna go with Braden!”
Was it possible to feel excitement and dread at the same time? Her statement worried him but also made him thankful...because he wanted to go with Braden, too. Please let me be doing the right thing. Was it smart to get so entwined with a man right now? To let Jessie spend more time with him when she obviously loved him? What if they stopped whatever this was they were doing? What if it hurt her?
“Uncle Wes, do you love Braden? I love Eric.”
Wes almost swallowed his tongue. How did he answer this? “Braden is a good friend to us. He helps us out a lot and I like him. You like him, too, right?”
She nodded and took a bite of her food. “Is he your boyfriend? Are you gonna get married?”
The weight in his gut doubled. He thought about everything Braden had done for them. About helping him go through Chelle’s room and his promise to help again. The shower and the press of Braden’s lips to his forehead when he’d left. Holy shit, Braden was pretty much his boyfriend...and he was strangely okay with that.
He ignored the marriage part, because how could you explain to a four-year-old that the world was a fucked up place and marriage wasn’t something that was equal? “I don’t know what Braden is to me, kiddo.”
“Do you like him?”
The words weren’t as sticky in his mouth as he’d thought they would be. “I do.”
“He makes you laugh. I like it when you laugh.” Jessie got up and climbed on his lap. Wes held onto her, feeling like he had a mini-version of his sister in his arms.
“I like laughing, too.”
“I wanna go. Can we go with Braden?”
He squeezed her tighter. “Let’s do it.” He wanted nothing more.
Chapter Twenty-One
Braden just finished zipping his suitcase when his phone rang. His first instinct was to ignore it, that way if it was Wes calling to cancel, he couldn’t. It wasn’t as if he’d let the man change his mind, anyway, so he went ahead and pulled the cell out of his pocket to see that it was Cooper.
“Hey, man. What’s up?” Braden asked when he answered.
“Sitting here with two dogs running around me. My boyfriend decided we both needed pets for Christmas.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t like it,” Braden said, and heard Noah saying something similar in the background.
He didn’t know why, but that made him smile. Braden sat down on his bed and asked, “You’re really happy?” He knew the answer to the question before he’d asked.
“Of course,” Cooper replied.
“Yeah, I know. Dumb question. It’s just, I can’t help but think about you before. It’s not that I’ve never been in a relationship like you hadn’t. You not only committed to someone for the first time, but it was another man. It’s just...” What was he trying to say?
“You’re serious about Wes. What are you asking? If I miss the single life?”