It terrified the ever-loving shit out of him.
She let go of the bar then. Time froze for Matt as she dropped, dropped…and landed. She bounced once into the air, letting out a delighted laugh that punctured his rib cage. He could only stand and watch as she rolled toward him and eased off the net to her feet. Their eyes locked and whatever she saw in his expression made the glow on her face dim. He hated that reaction, because he recognized it as inevitable. If he spent any length of time around her, he’d dim her until no more light existed. Knew it with absolute certainty.
Her hands began clawing at the safety wires, disconnecting them from her belt. “Is there a bathroom I can use?” she called to Purple Spandex.
“Inside the office, all the way in back. You don’t want to do another jump first?” the ass**le shouted back, making Matt want to strangle him.
“No. Not right now.” She finally succeeded in freeing herself from the belt, dropping it to the ground and coming forward to take his hand. “Come on, Chuckles.”
Matt followed her into the empty office, down the brightly lit hallway. He had no idea where they were going or what she wanted once they got there, only knew he couldn’t turn down a chance to touch her. Not now, after he’d just watched her careen through the air and let go. Probably not ever. When she tried to pull him into the women’s bathroom, he balked, but followed her in anyway.
When the door closed behind them, he heard someone breathing heavily and realized the sound came from him. A glance at his face in the mirror had him doing a double take. Jesus, he looked like shit. Worse, he felt shaky, anxious. Weighed down with need, not only of the sexual variety. Something more. Something urgent. He’d meant it earlier when he told her he wanted to spank her until she screamed. Watching her jump off the platform, then let go and free-fall, had left him feeling startlingly out of control. Control he needed to regain immediately.
Somehow, Lucy seemed to understand, coming to stand in front of him. “Whatever you need, take it.”
He’d spun her around to face the sink before he’d commanded his hands to do so. He saw in the mirror the way she closed her eyes, mouth parting on a bracing inhale, and his c**k swelled in his jeans. It made him want to hear her gasp his name. Sob it. Shout it. Made him desperate to hear the slap of her flesh. Without a trace of gentleness, he yanked down her black yoga pants and bared her tight, f**kable ass. “Brace your hands on the sink.”
Reflected in the mirror, her br**sts rose and fell temptingly. He reached around her with a rough hand and pulled down her neckline so he could watch them jiggle each time he slapped her. He found her ni**les and pinched them roughly, her needy whimper making his vision blur.
“You drive me out of my goddamn mind, you know that?” He ran his hand over her shoulder and down her back, ending at her upturned ass, kneading the flesh with his fingers. “You shouldn’t want this. You shouldn’t want my punishment. But you do, don’t you? You’re starved for it.”
“I want it.” She pushed back and twisted her hips. “Please.”
A voice sped through his consciousness telling him this was wrong, that he was introducing her to something that she should never have to know about, but his body overruled the warning. Power licking through his veins, he leaned down and spoke very precisely near her ear. “I hope that motherfucker hears me spanking your ass until it’s red. This first one is because I didn’t like his hands on you. When it lands, I want to hear an apology.”
He watched her eyes glaze over in the mirror, transforming her from the carefree girl flying through the air to someone else entirely. It shamed him. It made him hotter. Keeping their gazes locked, he brought his hand down with a loud slap. Her mouth opened on a silent scream, before she whispered something he couldn’t hear.
“I didn’t hear you, Lucy.”
She pushed her ass into his hands, asking for more. “I’m sorry.”
He couldn’t stop from pressing her forward onto the sink, pumping his jeans-encased erection between her spread thighs at an erratic pace, until she cried out. Finally, he managed to drag himself away. “This next one is for being impulsive and not waiting for proper instruction before flipping upside down like a lunatic. You scared the hell out of me. An apology, Lucy.”
His hand connecting with her flesh reverberated through the restroom, mingling with her throaty moan. If he checked, he knew she’d be wet and ready, but something wouldn’t let him take her there, in the restroom. Did he actually have a shred of decency left? When she met his eyes and breathed her second apology, he stopped wondering and resolved to think about it later. At a time when he felt rational. He was getting there now, regaining his composure with every blow to her perfect backside. Every sound of pleasure coming from her lips. This sweet, carefree girl was curing him of his anxiety. And he was dragging her down into his pit.
Matt almost stopped then, the realization sobering him ever so slightly. Then she thrust her ass higher and bit that plump bottom lip, heavy-lidded gaze meeting his in the mirror. Her br**sts were ripe, ni**les pouting up at him. Christ, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. Too beautiful. Nothing could stop him from giving her that final blow. Verbally and physically.
He wrapped her ponytail in his fist and tilted her head back. “This last one is for letting me do this to you. For not running away every time you see me. Say you’re sorry for letting me touch you.”
Her eyes cleared, a hint of panic entering them. “No.”
“Lucy,” he grated. “You are not in control. You handed it to me when we walked in here.”
“I don’t care.” Her voice shook. “I won’t say it.”
A frustrated growl ripped from his throat. He didn’t know where he found the strength, but he released her, falling back against the bathroom door. She quickly tugged up her pants and turned to face him. He was horrified to see tears in her eyes.
“Why wouldn’t you say it? Look at you.” His voice sounded hollow, agonized. “Two days in a row I’ve made you cry. I bet you don’t cry this much in a year.”
She closed the distance between them and slipped her arms around his neck. He flinched at the contact because it felt so right. So damn right. He didn’t deserve it after what he’d just done. How he’d ruined her morning with jealousy and control issues. “I lied to you once and I won’t do it again. That’s why I didn’t say it.” She pulled back and kissed his mouth lightly. “Drive me home?”
He closed his eyes so he couldn’t see her. If he kept looking, he’d kiss her and lose himself. She’d make him forget about the shame and he wouldn’t allow that. “You know I will.”
They drove home in silence, although he could feel Lucy throwing occasional glances in his direction. He was glad she didn’t speak or try to discuss what happened, how he’d overreacted. What the hell would he say? He had no explanation for what she did to him. Inside him. When they pulled up in front of the town house, he felt a flare of panic at the prospect of watching her leave, but reminded himself that her itinerary was at home on his kitchen table. He could relax marginally knowing where she’d be tomorrow, even if he knew he’d spend every moment until then convincing himself to stay away.