“Because you always hope for the best, and I always plan for the worst. It’s okay, though. We’ll figure this out. The best time to approach Trevor is going to be at the football game tomorrow. It’s loud. It’s distracting. If the CC happens to have people tracking you or him, it would be really hard to do it with so many bodies and so much noise.”
I nodded, then looked around. “Do you think they can hear us now?”
“No. I’m sure your dad sweeps his house. He used to work for the Bureau, after all. It’s probably why your mom wanted me to tell you here instead of over the phone.”
Even though I wanted to see Trevor right this second, she was right. We had to be careful about this. If the CC was watching, it might be suspicious to invite him over right after Laila showed up. But I knew the giant hole that now existed in my chest would not be filled until Trevor was a part of me again.
“Operation Win Trevor Back begins now.” She sat down on the bed across from me. “So what do you know about him that we can use in our quest?”
“Everything. I know him.”
“Then this should be easy.”
The door creaked open, and Connor came back in carrying a glass of water, which he handed to me. “Everything good?”
“It will be,” Laila said.
He nodded. “Perfect. Then I’m off.”
“What do you mean off?” Laila asked.
“I’m staying out of your way.” He backed out of the room. “We’re leaving Sunday, right?”
Laila nodded, and then he was gone.
I took a sip of water and looked at Laila, whose gaze still lingered on the door. “So why haven’t you told him you’re in love with him?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, please. When have I ever been in love? Now, back to Trevor. Tell me everything you know.”
The cement was cold on my bare feet as I leaned against the porch railing, but I didn’t want to go inside. I twisted the bottom of my long-sleeved nightshirt over and over again around my finger and stared up at the moon. It was a crescent, just like it had been the night I met Trevor. I had marveled at it that night, having only seen a lifetime of full moons. But now I had a memory full of the moon at different stages. I liked the changes. There were so many things about the Outside that I liked.
The sliding glass door opened and I turned, expecting to see Laila, who I had left asleep in my room, but it was Connor.
“Hey, Addie, can I borrow your computer?”
“Yes, of course.”
He didn’t step back into the house but instead closed the door behind him and asked, “Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “I will be. I think. It’s weird getting all these memories back that no one else has. I wish there was a way I could give them to Trevor. But it’s not like he lived them and had them Erased. He never lived them at all.” I stopped myself abruptly before I started crying again. I didn’t need to cry in front of this almost stranger, no matter how much Laila loved him.
He crossed his arms and walked over to join me at the railing. Then, like I had been doing, he stared up at the moon. I waited for him to say something about how odd it was to see a moon so small, but he didn’t. It didn’t seem odd to him at all. He must’ve spent some time outside the Compound before.
He was quiet for a while, and I was glad he wasn’t trying to give me false assurances or made-up solutions to my problem. He seemed to know there was nothing he could say to change the reality of it. This silent understanding made me feel better. It also made me realize why he was so good for Laila. She hated it when people tried to solve her problems. He was just a calming presence.
I let out a little gasp as I realized how much better I felt and thought about what he might be doing. He turned toward me.
“You’re not a Mood Controller, are you?” I asked.
“No.” Confusion passed over his face. “Didn’t Laila tell you my ability?”
“No. She didn’t.” I relaxed, glad he wasn’t manipulating me. I’d had enough of that with Duke. “Laila is really good at keeping secrets. If you asked her not to tell, she wouldn’t even tell me.”
“I didn’t ask her not to tell.”
I smiled. Well, you’re different, I wanted to say, She loves you. If she thought it was important to him that people didn’t know, I could see why she wouldn’t tell me. This only validated my knowledge of her feelings even more. “She must’ve thought you didn’t want anyone to know.”
His eyes moved to the sliding glass door, as if he expected to see her on the other side.
“She’s asleep,” I answered his unasked question. “Come on, I’ll show you where the computer is.”
He followed me inside. The computer sat on a desk in the corner of the living room. I powered it on, then pulled out the chair for Connor. He sat down and waited for it to come up.
“Did you need help with anything? They don’t have all the sites here that we have in the Compound.” There were so many things I knew now with my memories.
“I know.” He clicked on the internet icon and then hovered his hands over the keyboard. “Thanks.”
I thought he might be waiting for me to leave, but just as I turned to go, he typed a map service into the address bar. “Did you need the printer too?” I asked, thinking he might be printing up directions.
“No, just refreshing my memory.”
I looked at the screen, where he had typed in “Bowie, Texas.” It informed him that it was approximately one hour and forty-two minutes from Dallas. What was in Bowie, Texas, that Connor was so interested in? I took a deep breath and swallowed the question. It was none of my business. If Connor wanted to tell me, he would. He’d probably already told Laila. “Okay, well, good night.”
“Good night.”
I paused. “I take it we won’t be seeing you tomorrow?” I nodded toward the computer.
“Probably not.”
I didn’t care how good Laila was at keeping secrets. I’d ask her what that was all about tomorrow.
CHAPTER 28
Laila: Is there a mind pattern to take away my sense of smell?
I added a layer of lip gloss to my lips and let out a sigh. “Bowie, Texas?”