“I don’t know. Maybe we should do it again so I can figure it out.”

We did do it again. A few times actually. I don’t know what he ended up figuring out, but by the time I hung out with Guy and his friends, it was clear I had nothing to be scared of. He definitely was attracted to men. I put a stop to the kissing, which he had no qualms about. He’s been my best friend ever since.

Chapter 3

Mason

Mom sets a plate in front of me with three grilled cheese and tomato sandwiches. Hell yeah. “How was your first day?” she asks.

My mind instantly flips to the girl from this morning. I found out her name in second period when everyone was talking about “the incident”. Hope Love. What kind of name is that? It’s as if karma is straight up screwing with me. Hope Love.

“I think I’m in love,” I say. And then I laugh because I hear some kind of pun in my statement. I play around with the words in my head. I Hope I can get in Love. I’d Love to have some Hope.

“Mason, don’t play with me,” Mom says, but I hear that little sliver of hope in her voice. Ha, I’d Love a little sliver of Hope. I could do this all day.

“Mom, I promise you, I am not playing. This girl is amazing.”

Mom glares at me, trying to get me to admit something. What, I don’t have a clue because I’m not lying. “What’s she like?”

“She’s fucking gorgeous.”

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“Don’t say fuck.”

“You say fuck,” I say.

“Well I’m an adult.”

“Mom, last time I checked, eighteen was the legal age of adulthood.”

“Mason Xavier Patel, you are still in high school, and as long as you live under my roof, you will not say the word fuck.”

“We rent.”

“Shut up. Now tell me about this girl. What’s her name?”

I grin at her. “Hope Love.”

“Mason, I told you not to play with me. I am too old and too tired for your shit.”

“Mom, don’t say shit.” I duck my head as she swings at me. “All right, calm down. I swear her name’s Hope Love. Is that not the best name you’ve ever heard? And she’s freaking beautiful, and tough. I watched her kick a football player’s ass today.”

“That’s it. I’m done trying to talk to you,” she huffs. “I don’t know why you get my hopes up.”

Ha, Hope can get me up. Literally, can do this all day.

“I’m being one hundred percent honest. I had to pull her off this stupid dickhead. I think she may have killed him if I hadn’t stopped her.”

“Don’t say dickhead.” She crosses her arms, but asks, “Well, why was she beating him up? What’d he do?”

“I’m not sure how it started, but he pushed her and she didn’t do anything, just told him not to touch her and this di—asshole—straight up touches her face.”

“Asshole isn’t okay either.” She clucks her tongue. “So she just beat him up?”

I nod. “Beat his freaking ass.” She rolls her eyes, giving up on my cursing, and I take a bite of my sandwich. It’s so good I moan. “I think she got kicked out though. That’s what people were saying.”

“That’s it? You didn’t talk to her?”

“Didn’t get a chance,” I say with my mouth full.

“Then how can you say you’re in love? You don’t even know her.”

I finish the last bite and scoop up the next sandwich. “I know enough. She’s got this skin...” I trail off and shake my head as I recall my first glimpse of her in the car. “She’s beautiful, Mom. Don’t you believe in love at first sight?” I know Dad did.

“Hmph,” Mom scoffs. “Mason, you find most women beautiful.”

“No, most women find me beautiful. I can’t help that.” I chuckle and take another bite. “I just find something to appreciate in women.”

“We both know damn well what you appreciate about women.”

“Mom, come on. I have always been careful and respectful.”

“What kind of example are you setting for Kellin?” She glares at me again. I’ve heard this before. She’s overreacting as usual. Kel has no idea what I do when I’m not here. I’m not stupid. It’s not like I’m going to tell him about my sexual exploits. And I have never brought anyone into my mother’s home.

“Where is Kel?” I ask to change the subject.

“He’s next door. His dinner’s in the microwave. Makes sure he eats and takes a bath.”

“And does his homework, and brushes his teeth, and gets to bed on time. I know.”

Mom kisses my forehead. “I love you, Mace. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Love you too, Mom. Have a good night.” I watch her leave and finish my dinner before starting on my homework.

I’m getting ready to throw my calculus book when Kellin gets home. “Where’s Mom?”

“Work,” I say as I start the microwave. “Grilled cheese tonight. Then homework and bath. If you’re quick enough I’ll play some Call of Duty with you before bed.”

“Sweet.” He opens his math book while he eats and starts multitasking.

*******

The following day I search the parking lot for Hope’s car. I’m not surprised it isn’t there. Disappointed, but not surprised. I park, but stay in the car. I want to finish this song and chill before I have to go in there and deal with the fake smiles and leering eyes of girls I have absolutely no interest in. Don’t get me wrong, I love women. I can usually find some redeeming quality in any female. But right now, I’m only interested in one girl. A girl I found out yesterday isn’t well liked by most of the other girls at this school. This obviously just intrigues me more.

The lot has cleared out, so I decide it’s time to get my ass inside. The halls are packed, so I know I’m not late. I stop at my locker and am instantly attacked by two of the mass produced.

“Hi Mason,” one breathes. She says my name like it’s a secret. I put my head in my locker so I can roll my eyes. She may not have a redeeming quality.

“So, how are you liking it here?” the other one asks.

I toss a few books inside and glance back at these girls. They’re both smiling so big, I half expect their lips to split in the middles. “It’s all right, I guess.”

“You can sit with us at lunch if you want,” one of them says. She bounces up and down. My eyes are drawn to her chest and I toss one more book as I stifle a laugh. Guess I found her saving feature.

I slam my locker and turn to face them. I smile at each of them, focusing my attention on these girls one at a time. I can’t help it. It’s like it’s embedded into my DNA to be flirty. I’m just naturally superior at it. “Uh, yeah. I’ll see. I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you ladies later.” I flash one more smile before I turn and head for class. I have no intentions of sitting with them. Hell, by the time I slide into my desk for first period, I’ve already forgotten their faces.

At lunch time, the girls are back at my locker, waiting for me. At least, I think they’re the same girls. Either way, I duck into the bathroom and give it a solid five minutes checking my facebook from my phone before I decide they’ve lost interest. I head back down the hallway and my feet slide as I try to stop mid-motion. I was wrong. One girl is still there, leaning against my locker like she has every right to be there. The bell rang at least a minute ago. What the hell? I’m not in the mood for this drama. I turn down another hallway instead.

There are two guys standing near an empty classroom. I go toward them. I figure I can hide out in there for a few minutes until my groupie finally gives up, but as I get closer, I notice one of the guys look up and nudge his friend. He nods a kid coming down the hall in the opposite direction. His eyes are cast down, blonde hair in his face as he stares at his shoes, minding his own business.

The other guys push off the wall and follow close behind him. “What’s up faggot?”

I freeze as his words hit me. This kid’s pale face blotches pink and his eyes narrow in anger, but he keeps walking like he’s used to being treated like shit in the hallway.

“Hey, we’re talking to you, homo.”

The kid doesn’t react and it’s obvious they aren’t going to let up. He looks like he can handle his own, but I have this problem—I’m allergic to homophobic asses. I step into their personal space. “What the fuck did you just say?” And now I realize I’m dealing with the same jockstrap dickhead that messed with Hope yesterday.

“What, are you a little faggot too?” he says.

And this is where I lose it. Why can’t he stop using that word? I drop my backpack and take hold of the bastard’s collar. I have him against the lockers before I know what I’m doing. But hey, I’ve already gone this far, so, what the hell? His friend stands there like a moron, not sure what to do. “I better never hear that word out of your mouth again, you bigot asshole,” I yell right in his face.

“Get the fuck off me,” he spits. I shove him sideways and scoop up my pack. Then I turn my back on him so he knows I’m not afraid of him. I’m nearly daring him to come at me.

I round the corner, my hands shaking. I want to go back and punch that guy in the face.

“That. Was. Awesome.”

I glance sideways and realize the blonde kid followed me. He smiles and I can’t help but grin back at him. “He fucking deserved it.”

He nods, not taking his eyes off me. “Yeah, he did. For a lot of reasons.” We’re standing outside of the cafeteria now and I am even more not in the mood to deal with crazy chicks.

“You in this lunch period?” I ask.

“Yeah. You want to sit at my table?”

“If that’s cool.”

He smiles again. “You just saved my ass and pwned Christian Dunkin. You, my friend, just earned head of table.”

I don’t have a clue what he’s talking about. I’m just glad I don’t have to sit with the femme fatales. “Sweet. Let’s eat.”

While in line to buy lunch, I learn that my new found buddy’s name is Guy. No shit. He’s gay and often tormented because of it. He’s in a band. And he loves chili cheese fries.

“Just so we’re clear, you don’t happen to play for my team, do you?” he asks as I pick up a plate of fries.

I look at him sideways and smile. “No, man. I bat straight.”

He nods, not affected in the least. “Didn’t think so, but I had to ask. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you. A lot of my friends are straight.” I laugh. I like Guy. He’s funny and a smartass. I think we’ll get along pretty well.

*******

After school, Guy is sitting on the hood of my car. Well, it’s not my car. Mom bartends nights and sleeps days. I get the car for school in exchange for dropping and picking Kellin up.

“What’s up?” I say as I unlock my door.

“I need a ride,” Guy says.

“Get in. I have to pick my brother up first, though.”

“You’ve got a brother?” Guy asks a little too excitedly.

I stare at him over the roof. “He’s twelve,” I say flatly.

“Oh. I’ve got a sister that’s thirteen. You guys should come over.”

I slide into the car and start it. “Yeah, all right.”

Chapter 4

Hope

Today has been a good day. I didn’t wake up until eleven. Didn’t get out of bed until noon. Took a super long shower, using up all the hot water without anyone complaining. Ate a bowl of cereal and didn’t have to worry about the twins begging me to share. Laid on the couch and channel surfed until two. Now I’m lying in bed using up the last hour of silence to write some lyrics.




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